Just Kicking the New Year Right Off!

January 01, 2017 By: Juanita Jean Herownself Category: Uncategorized

(Right after I posted this I noticed that El Jefe wrote about the same thing. Great minds, y’all.)

Donald Trump is just a wealth of information about cybersecurity.  First off, expect his other son to be put in charge of it. “I have a boy who’s 10 years old. He can do anything with a computer.”

Asked about the Russians hacking us, Trump calmly explained it all.

And I know a lot about hacking. And hacking is a very hard thing to prove. So it could be somebody else.”

“I also know things that other people don’t know, and so they cannot be sure of the situation,” Trump responded when asked why he doubts intelligence reports of Russian hacking, according to a pool reporter.

When asked what Trump knows that other people don’t know, Trump responded, “You’ll find out on Tuesday or Wednesday.”

Or maybe Thursday, or …. hey, maybe it’s just like the secret stuff Trump said his investigators in Hawaii found about Obama’s birth certificate.  We’re still holding our breath for that one.

And then there’s his solution to cybersecurity:

“You want something to really go without detection, write it out and have it sent by courier.”

And there’s no way in hell that any courier, who makes maybe $20 an hour, can be corrupted.  You know, especially those riding bicycles.  Those are galvanized bicycles with rocket fuel engines, by gawd, and no damn Russian could steal that bicycle right from under a 400 pound guy that Trump knows.

To be extra secure, and if you really want to outfox the Russians, you can write your message like one of those origami fortune tellers we used to make a camp. The Russians could never figure that out!  Hell, it took Thelma all day to make one and she’s at least as smart as a Russian.



And think about it:  Twitter by Courier should be fun.  Slow, maybe, but fun. You just write something out a piece of paper and pass it around … to everybody. Or, you could use a courier, it’s up to you.


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20 Comments to “Just Kicking the New Year Right Off!”

  1. Sam in San Antonio says:

    Trump splained that the hacker could be a 400 pound individual in New Jersey. Hasn’t Chris Christie suffered enough?

    I expect many in Anonymous and the IT Security field will help educate Donald about what hacking really means in the near future.

  2. JAKvirginia says:

    Next up: Trump (s)explains how babies are made.

  3. In my humble opinion, one of the most important things we need to do is steadily remind any repugnantcan that we actually talk to that they voted for this douchebag. He’s the new face of their party, and we gotta rub their noses in it every chance we get. Hey, you gotta take your fun where you can find it.

  4. Jane & PKM says:

    Courier, really Donnie? Maybe if you ask nice one of the 17 agencies will explain to you how Bin Laden was tracked down.

  5. Brian Meejan says:

    maybe that’s his cunning plan for making America great again, an army of bicycle couriers! Those commies will never get a message thru like us red-blooded Aryan cyclers!

  6. A gentle but timely reminder that we were able to locate and kill Osama Bin Ladin by…. tracking his courier. On the other hand perhaps Trumps advocating the use of one eyed ravens as couriers, winter is, after all, coming.

  7. Wow! A photo of a Trash-80! I haven’t seen one of those since 1947! (I exaggerate only slightly.)

  8. Lunargent says:


  9. @MaryR

    Respect the Trash-80!

  10. The sad thing is that it’s so easy to spot a quote from the Barking Yam– nobody else combines that degree of deluded self-confidence with that degree of immature ignorance. Well, maybe the bozos who put him in charge, but they rarely get quoted.

  11. Jane & PKM says:

    Donnie just kicked sand in David Koch’s face. Too many villains for one story.


  12. Drumpf thinks we are all as stoopid as he is. Maybe the morons who voted for him really are, but there are millions more(Hillary voters) who see through his ridiculous attempts to exonerate Putin. We have to join together to restrain the Moron-in-Chief.

  13. Jane & PKM says:

    maryelle, we feel considerably better knowing that Rep Elijah Cummings is on the House Oversight Committee. Between Rep Cummings and the ladies in the Senate, Orange Foolius will hit a few speed bumps.

  14. Fran Seyer says:

    Blessings, of whatever turns one on, to wonderful Rep. Elijah Cummings…..Jane & PMK, we can only hope that he and pence fall into potholes the size of IN…..Onward!

  15. Fran, I’m thinking that when you were talking about the Honorable Rep. Cummings and then said that you hope he and Pence fall into a hole, you were thinking about the Predator-Elect and Pence. Amiright?

  16. He’s so convoluted, it’s mindboggling!

  17. ¡Oh my!
    A Trash-80!
    Am I the only person still alive who had the misfortune to use one of those?

  18. Jane & PKM, as long as Elijah is not on a committee chaired by Darrell Issa who deliberately and in plain view of everyone shut off his mike to keep him from participating. Cannot understand how Elijah kept himself from decking Issa. It was a flat our racist effort on Issa’s part.

  19. Linda Phipps says:

    RE: the little origami notes, just be sure that each of the little corners holds only 140 characters or less.

  20. Lunargent says:

    Jan –
    A Trash-80? Nevah!

    Being forward-thinking and progressive, I opted for the Commodore 64.