It’s Not That We’re Gun Nuts. It’s That We’re Gun Freekin’ Nuts.

January 17, 2011 By: Juanita Jean Herownself Category: Uncategorized


“Okay, if the events in Tucson taught us anything, it’s that more college kids need to carry guns,” Juanita reports from the Texas Lege.

It appears that another man with a small winkie has decided that he’s gonna push a bill allowing college students to carry handguns on campus.  The only exception would be that they couldn’t have the handguns in the dorm.

“Which seems kinda ridiculous,” Juanita says, “because everybody knows that a handgun is only known cure for a neighbor in the dorm who plays Yanni full blast at 8:00 am.”

“And has the Lege given thought to what students would do with their handguns upon entering the dorm?  Would there be a receptacle outside the door for them like there are for cigarette butts?”

Juanita ain’t the only one with questions.

One Texas lawmaker thinks allowing concealed handguns on university campuses will improve safety for students and faculty.

But the head lawman at Stephen F. Austin State University says allowing weapons would make any crisis situation even more dangerous.

The lawman makes the point that unless we make students wear bad guy or good guy tee shirts, the real police will have a difficult time knowing who to shoot.  Idea like that come from something subversive called “thinking.”

But, noooooo …. that’s not enough gun crap in the Texas Lege.

Prepare yourself for this one.  Every August Texas has a back-to-school no-sales-tax-weekend for school clothes, lunch boxes, pencils, Big Chief tablets, paste, ammo …..

Oh, yeah.  Sid Miller

Sid Miller

HB 181 would exempt “handguns, rifles, shotguns, and ammunition” from tax that same back-to-school weekend because nothing says ‘Welcome to Kindergarten” like a 9-mm handgun.

A bill filed by state Rep. Sid Miller, a Republican from Stephenville, would add handguns, rifles and ammunition to the list of items exempt from sales tax that weekend.

“We already have one sales tax holiday, why not make it two instead of one?” Miller said. “We just want to give taxpayers a break.

“In the last two years, the cost of handguns and ammunition have almost gone through the roof so that it’s almost prohibitive for gun ownership,” he said.

Thelma was furious.  “Has that man priced a garter belt lately?  I suspect not.  I can barely afford one anymore!  Or how about a tax free weekend on perfume?”

Juanita, however, is still worried about that guns on campus thing.  “There’s not a lot of sobriety on campus,” she contemplates.

Juanita says that Bubba has the right idea.  “Bubba says that the Texas Lege needs to get a better handle on what college is all about.  He says that if anything should be tax exempt that weekend it should be condoms,” she grins.

So, if Texas Rep Sid Miller needs help remembering what college is all about, then he’s too damn old to be making the rules.

(Thanks to customer Marcia for the heads-up on this one.)

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