It’s Gotta Be The Heat In Texas

August 30, 2014 By: Juanita Jean Herownself Category: Uncategorized

Okay, there’s this conservative think tank (which seems like an oxymoron) in Dallas called the National Center for Policy Analysis (NCPA). It is run by a 68 year old guy named John Goodman, but not the famous John Goodman.  This one is only semi-famous.  He thought up the Republican plan to counteract Obamacare and basically keeps Texas Republicans riled up enough to send money to Republicans.  He is paid $587,000 a year to think.  But not wisely.

John got ousted for “sexual misconduct and breach of fiduciary duty.”

Of course you want to know the back story.  You know there’s gotta be a great backstory.  It’s Republicans.  It’s money.  It’s power.  There’s gotta be some perverted hoochy koochy involved and this story does not disappoint.

The Players:


The Plot:

The NCPA hired a part time clerk named Sherri Collins from a temp agency without doing a background check on her.  Come to find out a tad too late, she “had multiple brushes with the law for theft, assault and criminal mischief.”  Then last June she assaulted her current boyfriend with a fake plant.  In my mind, that’s just kinda dumb.  Fake plants rarely make good weapons and I’ve never known anyone who had to go to an emergency room with a silk spathiphyllum protruding from any part of their torso.  However, I suspect if that does happen, it will happen in Texas.

Anyway, the minute Sherri arrives she catches the eye of John Goodman.  In 2011, things got weird between the two.  A former employee says,“He would rub her leg. She would smile. It seemed like two people in a relationship.”  You know, I have the same relationship with my dog.  I only said that to let you know that this could be a platonic thing.  It could be.  It wasn’t.

In 2012, John divorced his wife.

By 2013, however, things had gone sour enough between the pair that an apparent physical confrontation erupted between them in the California hotel room. Goodman reportedly choked Collins in the course of a violent argument that left the hotel room “torn up.”

You know what happens next, right?  Sherri gets a big promotion.  She went from a temporary clerk to director of Human Relations, which is kinda funny if you think about it.  See what he did there?  Relations?  Human?  Yeah, which is why I brought up the whole dog thing in the first place.

Next, someone points out that Sherri might be good at a certain kind of relations, but business ain’t one of them.  She is accused by other employees of being “hostile, combative, and disrespectful.”

Trying to get rid of her was not easy.  Sherri is not the kind of woman who goes away quietly.  She blows the top off the place and both of them get fired by the board of director.  She’s hired lawyers so now all this Republican money is going to pay writ twits.

See, there’s always a happy ending.

Thanks to Deb B. for the heads up.


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22 Comments to “It’s Gotta Be The Heat In Texas”

  1. Mary in San Antonio says:

    I have to wonder just how reputable the temp agency was if they didn’t do a background check on Collins. I worked for a temp agency that does do background checks, so was the one the “think tank” used run by a Republican donor? It certainly doesn’t sound like a reputable temp agency or that those at the “think tank” were thinking too well at the time.

  2. File this under:

    The best laid plans…

  3. RepubAnon says:

    Obviously, this whole sorry story is the fault of President Obama – I can’t imagine by what twisted logic the Republicans will blame President Obama for this, but sooner or later, the folks who claim that this country’s problems are due to a lack of personal responsibility will find a way to blame their political opponents for their own misdeeds.

  4. e platypus onion says:

    Well,wingnuts got bent out of shape over Clinton’s affairs after he was twice elected to take take care of affairs.

  5. e platypus onion says:

    PS-after seeing Lewinski I can see why Clinton had sex with her blue dress instead of her.

  6. W. C. Peterson says:

    Are those writ twits going to be Shyster Republican Lawyers who charge $500 an hour? Or real lawyers who can actually help in a legal situation for a lot less hourly rate? Would real lawyers even touch the sordid laundry?

  7. I’m a gonna switch parties and become a Republican. Because those fellas get all kinds of crazy nasty hoochie it seems. I mean those not very attractive old guys can’t leave the house without some crazy vajazy throwing itself at their old unsuspecting and helpless selves.

    I mean, yeah, Dems have their fair share of the hoochie happenin’. But not the really crazy stuff. Not the make me wear a diaper and spank me stuff. Not the trash a hotel room hubba-hubba the GOP always gets.

    And I think I might just want me some of that.

  8. I think JJ is having waaaayyy too much with this story.

  9. Rick — you cracked me up! “Best laid” — Ha!

  10. Mark J reminds me of a cartoon I saw on the internet thing. Photo of Obama and Biden having lunch somewhere, with made-up captions. Obama mentions recent sex scandals, nearly all GOP, and asks why he isn’t getting anything like that. Biden reminds him, “Because your wife can kick your ass.”

  11. Name me one young person who hasn’t made stupid and ill considered moves in their lives. Went off with someone they just met to a party or some such gathering. I mean before all this anger and hate that seems to be prevalent these days. Monica made a stupid mistake, I think she’s paid enough guys (I’m looking at you e platypus). To be the butt of nasty jokes can’t be any fun.

    JJ, this has got to be one of your better ones and had to have been a lot of fun to write, I had fun reading it.

  12. Rhea, Republicans only like to get their ass kicked by women who aren’t their wives.

  13. UmptyDump says:

    This song is so great and to the point that I had to swipe the link from The Raw Story comment that had it. Enjoy.

  14. Yick! Miss Hoochie and Not Damn Good-man deserve each other. Any body spell blood letting in upper case?

  15. Marcia in CO says:

    @Maggie … “Anybody spell blood letting in upper case?”


    How’s that?

    LOL …

  16. RepubAnon says:

    The other good thing is that the more this think tank spends on litigating (and eventually settling) this matter, the less they have to spend on campaign ads. But then, I expect that 99 and 44/100ths of the donations received go to executive salaries and fundraising…

  17. I’m still stuck on the phrase “think tank”. These people are brain dead.

  18. Yeah, he must have been irresistible in that baby-poop colored jacket with the orange tie and coon-skin cap on his pate.

    I’ll bet the former Mrs. Goodman is thinking something along the lines of “Whew, that was close!”

  19. Kris Williams says:

    So, psycho chick gets promoted. The Peter Principle strikes again! Lol

  20. e platypus onion says:

    So I guess we missed the point of the blue dress stain. It did not prove Clinton had sex with that woman and any normal,reasonable,rational(think liberal or progressive) should have reached that same conclusion.

    OTOH I think most, if not all of us, have been the butt of nasty jokes.

  21. Larry Cross says:

    Not only is she less than ethical in her sex/love life, but she’s obviously lacking in the taste department as well. I guess when you’re in such a “service-related” industry, you can’t pick your customers all the time.

  22. And Carnac says “The answer is conservative think tank.” He tears open the envelope and reads, “What does a Republican want done about the protests in Ferguson?”