If You’re Not Busy Tomorrow ….

August 31, 2011 By: Juanita Jean Herownself Category: Uncategorized

… this might be fun.

Judge Sam Sparks is going to have a little party with some lawyers.

I don’t care who you are, that’s funny.  Okay, maybe not if you’re Mr. Woods or Mr. Barton.

Thanks to Ken for the heads up.

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23 Comments to “If You’re Not Busy Tomorrow ….”


  1. bud malone says:

    I shot my mouth off on Face Book about the Judge’s decision. His judgment deserves high marks for reasonableness. The critics rant is to be expected and rejected.

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  2. Someday Girl says:

    I would not want to be either of those gentlemen…

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  3. I never thought I would say this but I’m getting pretty fond of this guy.

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  4. I’m not sure I know just what’s going on here, but I think I like it.

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  5. Edith Ann says:

    I just LOVE a sarcastic judge!

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  6. Wooo doggie, you Texans have some judges who have reached the point of serious slap downs of fools. Sam Sparks is my new hero. Seems he has had enough of abusive suits who got raised with too much self esteem and not enough back of the hairbrush when needed.

    May his tribe prosper and increase.

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  7. Maybe someone in Austin can attend and tell us what happens. I will certainly be checking PACER for an order. Hopefully, for their sake, Mr. Wood and Mr. Barton have the good sense have worked out their differences before they get to court tomorrow morning, with an agreed order in hand; and appologize to the Court, promising to sin no more. It’s called professionalism, gentlemen. And I doubt the Judge was kidding when he said to bring a sack lunch and a tooth brush. With all due respect, you don’t piss in the wind and you don’t step on Superman’s cape!

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  8. I LIKE this guy!

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  9. Juanita: Do we have any idea what this case is about, or does it just no matter?

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  10. Um, that is NOT matter.

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  11. Marie Harvey says:

    Whoa Nellie!!!! What I wouldn’t give to attend like a fly on the wall this “kindergarten” session-LOL. How in the world did Texas get so lucky!! Judge Sparks, you just made my day!

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  12. Someday Girl says:

    He’s clearly learned at the knee of Judge Kentl:

    http://www.thesmokinggun.com/file/real-star-wars-nut-0?page=3

    Highlights:

    “The Court seriously doubts whether Brazoria County has ever seen a live Bolivian…even on the Discovery Channel.”

    “…whereas there isn’t even a Bolivian restaurant anywhere near here…”

    “…even though the words Bolivia and Brazoria are alot alike and caused some real, initial confusion until the court conferred with its law clerks.”

    Same judge:

    http://randazza.wordpress.com/2007/03/31/funny-case-smith-v-colonial-penn/

    “Defendant should be assured that it is not embarking on a three-week-long trip via covered wagons when it travels to Galveston. Rather, Defendant will be pleased to discover that the highway is paved and lighted all the way to Galveston, and thanks to the efforts of this Court’s predecessor, Judge Roy Bean, the trip should be free of rustlers, hooligans, or vicious varmints of unsavory kind.”

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  13. In some places, lawyers are routinely jerks to one another, not so much elsewhere. The Houston rule requiring lawyers to call one another and try to work it out before filing a motion is one sentence (and used to not be considered needed at all); its Dallas counterpart is a couple pages or so. This is a good example of not checking out the playground rules before starting a game of battleball. And Bayrat is dead on right.

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  14. shortpeople says:

    I love that he accords them the respect their gravitas has earned for them.

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  15. Ahhh, shoot – looks like they managed to settle the underlying lawsuit. Oh well, I don’t think they allow popcorn in that courtroom, anyway.

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  16. Judge Sam is my new hero! He seems equally contemptuous of lousy legislation and lousy lawyering!

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  17. I’ve had only one brush with the legal system…involved a spurious lawsuit where exorbitant awards were sought against me as a result of a “collision” even though neither vehicle hit anything or was damaged in any way. All the paperwork on plaintiff’s side, actually filed, was exceptionally sloppy, names misspelled, dates incorrect, many errors of substance as well as obvious clerical errors. I also had to watch my lawyer’s paperwork and review before it was filed, thus avoiding lots of sloppy and clerical errors.

    I was stunned by this combined display of incompetence by the legal community…. such would have been completely unacceptable in my business/office environment.

    My lawyer seemed to think such shabby work was acceptable unless it achieved some level which I could not fathom.

    I desperately wanted to find a way to get the attention of the lawyers to make them actually do a competent job with the paperwork. Maybe this judge has similar problems, but has a hammer to hit them with!!

    May his tribe increase!!

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  18. gabberflasted says:

    Another Sparks putdown. I have a bro-in-law who is a competent attorney. He is my provider. Or perhaps, enabler.

    http://www.austinchronicle.com/documents/sparks.parker.order.pdf

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  19. I checked PACER. The Judge cancelled the Kindergarten Party and dismissed the suit after all counsel decided to “Play Pretty”.

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  20. I first read this about 10:00 (I think) a.m.. Well, I have not gotten anything done yet today (it’s 4:21). Still wiping the laugh tears away.

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  21. Juanita Jean, I think I’m in love. Is he already married? God, listening to someone with such lovely writing skills is such a delight! No swear words, little name calling, and still cuts them off at the knees for being complete incompetents, idiots, or both.

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  22. Austinhatlady says:

    Susan F,
    I second your opinion. Let’s hear a loud AMEN!

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