I Love Yew, Texas

August 03, 2017 By: Juanita Jean Herownself Category: Uncategorized

League City, Texas, is between me and Galveston.  I generally close my eyes and hold my breath as I drive through there.

One of my Democratic friends stopped in League City and this was right next to her.


I think it was real nice of him to fly a confederate flag on the back, you know, just in case you didn’t already know he’s a big damn loser.

This is why you should always make your car passengers carry glitter.  Accidentally letting pink glitter fly all over that whole thing would have been a tragically but very cool thing.  I’ll even pay the $200 littering fine as long as he shows up to court with pictures of the glitter all over himself to prove his case.


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17 Comments to “I Love Yew, Texas”

  1. I’d pull up next to him at a red light and inform him that Wonder Woman looked a lot better than he does with her sword stuck down the back of her gown. Then I’d hope that in whipping his “thing” around to shoot me, he’d blast himself first.

  2. oldymoldy says:

    One just never know when one will be attacked by a wild bunch o’them rambo guys!?

  3. At least he lets everyone know what kind of idiot he is.

  4. George in Lee County says:

    Who blacked-out the license plate, and why?

  5. Susan on the Left Coast says:

    In online comments just tell them how impressive it is for a grown man to publicly admit his terror at leaving home without a weapon just to buy a jar of pickles even though little girls don’t feel the same way.

  6. slipstream says:

    Helmet. Wuss.

  7. So I downloaded the image to enlarge portions for review.

    Bubba wears a cammy baseball cap under the skull cap helmet. Backwards. See the bill of baseball cap protecting his melanin challenged neck from the savage greater Houston sun.

    Sadly the license plate number is redacted. There used to be a local DFW website where you could post images of stoopid people doing stoopid things with their motor vehicles. License plates were important so we could recognize those amongst us to avoid like a HS junior with an STD.

    I suspect the weapon hugging his back is an ar-15 pattern “pistol” legally speaking. (Those with younger eyes should confirm my analysis.)

    The ratty confederate battle flag merely ices the cake of stoopid.

  8. Anybody who wears a ball cap backwards shows that they have no idea what the bill is for. I’ve even seen them shading their eyes with their hands.

  9. Juanita Jean Herownself says:

    Not me, George. My friend did. She didn’t want him to come visit her.

  10. Wearing helmet = good
    Cap underneath not so good. If he has occasion to need the helmet the adjustment clip etc could do damage. Of course if he has occasion to need the helmet he probably won’t have any skin left so what is another little divot.

    Is it legal to carry a loaded gun like that in Texas? I know, silly question, just wondered

  11. I’ve never ridden and won’t ride a motorcycle, but I used to work in a hallway full of sensible bikers who were adamant about wearing protective clothing. So my first reaction to the half-naked guy on the motorcycle was what Bananas said: “Of course if he has occasion to need the helmet he probably won’t have any skin left so what is another little divot.”

  12. That Other Jean says:

    I love the idea of tossing a ton of pink (or maybe rainbow) glitter all over that idiot, but the gun strapped to his back would make me hesitate to put that idea into action. Since he’s shading the back of his neck but letting the rest of his upper body bake in the sun, he doesn’t seem all that bright, so the gun is probably loaded. Not worth the risk. Karma (or sunburn) will get him soon enough.

  13. Fred Farklestone says:

    Looks like he’s wearing ‘Skecher’s,” the only shoe one wears if he’s a real bad-arse!


  14. Around here, skechers substitute as house slippers! Just like grandma used to wear!

  15. Lunargent says:

    Well, that should create an interesting tan line.

  16. Fwiw, I wear a Shoei Qwest Full-Face helmet because the first time I laid a motorcycle down, a Kawasaki GPZ, I wasn’t and while I am sometimes a slow learner I’m not THAT slow.

    I wear an armored jacket for the same reason, although I haven’t laid a bike down since Kim Jong Reagan was in office. The next ride could result in a bovine strike soooooo!

  17. Scotty in Illinois says:

    Long ago I ran into my state rep while I had my helmet in hand. He had been my 9th grade civics teacher, so we were well acquainted. The ledge was about to vote on a helmet law, so he asked my opinion of it. I told him I was against it. He asked why I was against making them mandatory since I was using one voluntarily. I told him that helmet laws defeat natural selection. Took a second for that to sink in, but he went back to Springpatch and pulled enough other votes to kill it.

    Around the same time the US Senate was deliberating the Flag Protection Amendment, which would have overruled the SCOTUS ruling that held that public flag burning was protected free speech. It was a foot in the door for other restrictions.

    Called my junior senator’s office with an idea. Add one sentence to the proposal, which read that congress shall have the right to restrict the public desecration of the American flag. My addition read, Congress shall also have the right to prohibit the public display of the flags of the Third German Reich and of the Confederate States of America.

    Got a call back from her chief of staff that afternoon thanking me. Told me not to expect to hear anything more about it beyond the proposed amendment not getting a floor vote, which is what happened.