I Answer My Mail While My Husband Is In Jail

October 13, 2015 By: Juanita Jean Herownself Category: Uncategorized

Texas Attorney General Ken Paxton has been indicted for two first degree counts of securities fraud, and with a third degree felony for failing to register as a securities adviser with the Texas State Securities Board.

Screen Shot 2015-10-13 at 9.35.00 AMHe’s so crooked that he has to screw on his socks in the morning.

It is important to remember that all of these things happened before he was elected Attorney General.  So, watching him try to blame Obama for his indictment is a load of fun.

To rally the Republican troops before his trial, Mr. and Mrs. Paxton have taken their show on the road.  She writes songs, plays the guitar, and sings.

Here’s her latest song.

Pistol Packin’ Mama
by Angela Paxton

I’m a pistol packin’ mama, yes I am
I’m a pistol packin’ mama, yes I am
I’m a pistol packin’ mama and my husband sues Obama
I’m a pistol packin’ mama, yes I am

I was adopted as a little bitty babe
I was adopted as a little bitty babe
I’m so blessed to have 2 mamas, and my husband sues Obama
I was adopted as a little bitty babe

I grew up in a tiny Texas town
I grew up in a tiny Texas town
Ninety people, cows, pigs, llamas, and my husband sues Obama
I grew up in a tiny Texas town

Tragically, it goes on and on and on.

I guess she’s working on something to rhyme with prison.

Thanks to Kyle for the heads up.

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0 Comments to “I Answer My Mail While My Husband Is In Jail”


  1. Marge Wood says:

    Hey, at least she isn’t bustin’ windows and dinner plates out of frustration.

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  2. Makes you wonder if TX GOPpers vet anyone when they run ’em for office…

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  3. OMG – I thought you were kidding. This is embarrassing for Texas. With our luck, it will go viral.

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  4. Polite Kool Marxist says:

    Cheryl, the Pox of Texas, Loopy Louie, has already gone viral on C-SPAN. Other may attempt to rival Louie as king of the st00pid, but he has his little horns locked in place on that one. Whereas Dancing Delay merely set the bar on corruption under which the others slither in competition.

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  5. bud malone says:

    An 8 year old mentality.

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  6. daChipster says:

    I run my mouth without using my brain
    I run my mouth without using my brain
    This song ain’t got no comma and my husband sues Obama.
    I run my mouth without using my brain

    I want you to just die if you’re a homo
    I want you to just die if you’re a homo
    I’m rightwards of Osama and my husband sues Obama
    I want you to just die if you’re a homo

    I spent the money that my husband stole
    I spent the money that my husband stole
    This song is one big fail and my husband’s going to jail
    I spent the money that my husband stole

    I’ll stand by him until he goes to prison
    I’ll stand by him until he goes to prison
    He may have gone too far but I-O-K-I-Y-A-R
    Then D-I-V-O-R-C-E in prison.

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  7. Some people just have no shame or class: Mr. and Mrs. Paxton are perfect examples.

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  8. I’m an old cowhand from the Rio Grande
    But my legs ain’t bowed and my cheeks ain’t tanned
    I’m a cowboy who never saw a cow
    Never roped a steer ’cause I don’t know how
    Sure ain’t a fixin’ to start in now
    Oh, yippie yi yo kayah, yippie yi yo kayah
    -Bing Crosby

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  9. Good Grief!

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  10. I sing my songs and I moan
    I sing my songs and I moan
    My husband did sue Obama
    I ended with all this trauma
    I’m raising my kids on my own.

    I’m a RW pistol packing minion
    and my hubby’s going to prison.
    Yea, my hubby’s going to prison.

    The End.

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  11. Such talented lyricists frequent this salon!
    Here’s a simple version of “Joe Turner Blues”.

    Adagio (mournfully, until he’s convicted)
    They tell me, Ken Paxton’s come and gone.(jazz riff)
    They tell me, Ken Paxton’s come and gone. (“)
    He committed fraud,
    Left his wife, to sing this song. (“)

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  12. What a perfect match. The karmic wheel just keeps turning and it will be interesting to see how this runs it course.

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  13. This is from Angela, the “guidance counselor”? Really? She should keep the day job, cause neither Nashville nor Vegas are calling soon.

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  14. Del Carter says:

    OK,

    “I got my pistol, Ken’s got his’n
    At least ’til he goes to prison
    I’m a pistol packin’ Mama yes I am.”

    Sorry, Frank Zappa (RIP) I’m definitely not.

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  15. Boy, that is p.i.t.i.f.u.l.!

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  16. buskyandme says:

    His mug shot shows a cute s#*t eating grin
    His mug shot shows a cute s#*t eating grin
    His mug shot shows a s#*t eating grin, it’ll get him laid while in the pen
    His mug shot shows a cute s#*t eating grin

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  17. e platypus onion says:

    What has Ken Paxton done lately?
    Been Indicted for securities fraud
    Soon to spend time in the crowbar hotel
    Pissin’ and moanin’ to gawd.

    Oh bury me not on the old prairie
    where the deer and the antelope roam
    Paxton’s a crook,they’ll throw the book
    Be awhile before he’s coming home.

    From jail Kenny can’t sue Obama
    Sure hope wifey gets conjugal days
    She was born in a tiny town in Texas
    Sleeping alone because crime doesn’t pay.

    I’m sure there’s a moral to tell her
    A lesson she’s sure to regret
    What goes around comes around
    Be it either Karma or Kismet.

    I shouldn’t rejoice in other’s miseries
    This time I give epo a pass
    For the Mr and Mrs are drizzilies
    They both just got kicked in the A-Butt. 🙂

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  18. Note that suing President Obama is not the same as winning a lawsuit against him. People can sue about pretty much anything and have.

    In today’s news: http://www.usatoday.com/story/news/nation/2015/10/13/new-york-city-woman-sues-her-nephew-for-127000-for-exuberant-leap-into-her-arms-at-his-birthday-party-that-broke-her-wrist/73867150/

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  19. charles r. phillips says:

    Can anyone talk Guy Clark into giving Mz. Paxton and DaChipster some songwriterly advice? Like, “Don’t?”

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  20. It’s lights out time in prison, yes it is
    It’s lights out time in prison, yes it is
    Kenny’s cellmate’s ardor has arisen, it’s lights out time in prison
    Those screams I hear from prison sound like Ken.

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  21. Sorry, Henry. Prison rape isn’t any funnier than the other kind.

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  22. Ole Scout says:

    Let’s consider affirmative words that remind us of misprision of office. Any in-decent lawyer can provide us with examples of misprision … well paxton is such a good example!

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  23. Elizabeth Moon says:

    For once my verse daemon refused to play–printably, that is. I think the Muse is offended by Miz Paxton’s verses, so he’s in a snit and using language Mama would not approve.

    When “suing Obama” is the only positive thing you can say about your hubby, honey, you really should just go home and wash the dishes. And give back to the citizens of Texas the taxpayer money he wasted suing Obama.

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  24. I apologize, Cookie. I let my schadenfreude take over for my judgment.

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