How To Dress Like a Woman

February 03, 2017 By: Juanita Jean Herownself Category: Uncategorized

Our friend AlanInAustin reacted with some spit and vinegar to Donald Trump’s edict that females on his staff “dress like women.”

Here’s a picture of my mother in her welding outfit. During WWII she got dressed up in canvass overalls, gloves, and helmet, then crawled all over Liberty ships. When news came that her brother was MIA (ship sunk in the Pacific), she still went to work. When she found guys below decks playing cards, she tack welded the hatch shut to seal them in. She then went to her boss and said that maybe if they couldn’t do their jobs that maybe they could be somewhere on the front with a rifle.

So SCREW YOU, Trump.
AlanInAustin

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40 Comments to “How To Dress Like a Woman”


  1. John Peter Henson says:

    Great story.

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  2. I am going through a weird time right now. My Mother-in-law has been gone for ~18 years, and for some reason *now* is when I finally got around to grieving for her.
    But I got her daughter, the one that’s been running Labs at MIT for over 30 years and dresses like an adventurer.
    I guess I will never understand 45.

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  3. Uhh this is the most ridiculous thing I have ever heard. If a woman puts on clothing of any sort that is not a costume, she is “dressed like a woman”. Because she is an f’ing woman. A woman employed as a peace officer wearing the uniform of a peace officer is STILL dressed “like a woman”. What an utter dumba$$. (A woman playing a part in a play or movie or etc, wearing a costume, may or may not be “dressed like a woman”, as is dictated by the needs of the production. She’s still a woman.)

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  4. TrulyTexan says:

    Quite a request from a man who has never worked a day in his life. Hopefully the next few months will show him how women fight as well.

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  5. Jane & PKM says:

    Poor Donnie! He needs “cue cards” in the form of some superficial dress code to recognize a woman.

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  6. Things I’d like to see in a better world:

    Trump – “Dress like a woman.”
    Women: “Act like a man.”

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  7. WA Skeptic says:

    My mom also worked as a welder at the Kaiser Shipyards in Richmond, CA. She had weld-bead scars in her decolletage until the day she died. She also taught me to weld when I was hired into an oil refinery in 1973. I’d had trouble getting my rod to start a bead, so I went home and talked to her. She said: “Strike it like a kitchen match to light the rod, then move it like you’re doing a running stitch to make a bead”. It worked like a charm, and my welding instructor was astounded at my success. And as far as I knew, nobody ever had any question about her sexual identity.

    Trumpf should just shut up.

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  8. He probably needs the distinction to know where to grab

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  9. Bud Malonee says:

    My kind of lady.

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  10. Paul, I suspect you’re right. And the women working for him need some sort of guidance on where to kick.

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  11. Though it occurs to me that if the women showed up dressed like Queen Elizabeth I, it could not be denied that they were “dressed like women” and he’d have a very difficult time reaching his preferred part of their anatomy.

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  12. Well, if they dress “like women”, that will no doubt make it easier for trump to grab their you know whats.

    Time to invest in chastity belts. They may need to make a comeback, but this time to protect the wearer, not the value of a man’s piece of property.

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  13. Coprolite says:

    trump has different standards for men and women. He tells women to dress like women(?) whatever that means, but Bannon, AKA Mr. Scruffy runs around with a 4 day beard and
    dresses like a slob.

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  14. The Neanderthal-in-Chief has, once again, shown that evolution has completely passed him by. The double standard is the only one he stands by.

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  15. Here are some splendid examples of women showing Trump how to “dress like a woman”:

    http://www.someecards.com/news/politics/dresslikeawoman-dress-like-a-woman-donald-trump/

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  16. Jane & PKM says:

    Sad. Poor little Donnie having been beaten by 3 million in the popular vote by a woman in a pant suit still has night and day sweats, unless he has some manufactured cleavage to bolster his fragile ego.

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  17. slipstream says:

    Dress like a woman? When did Trump join the Taliban?

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  18. Trump’s edict that females on his staff “dress like women.”

    From the guy who can’t properly tie his tie.

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  19. Opinionated Hussy says:

    I dress like a woman every day – jeans with a flannel shirt on my days off, jeans with a nice shirt for work, trousers with a nice shirt for church. Unsure what else the Current Occupant could possibly mean by these instructions.

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  20. JAKvirginia says:

    Um… wow. I guess Donnie can’t tell the difference between men and women without the proper clothes. Wow.

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  21. What a hero your mother was, Alan!

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  22. Marcia in CO says:

    Love this and all the comments!! Too bad ole Trumplethinskin doesn’t visit the Salon to learn a thing or two!!

    Learn something … Oh, ha ha ha ha!! LOL

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  23. I am not as outraged by this as I normally would be; I am sorry to say that any woman who chooses to work for him knew what she was getting into.

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  24. AliceBeth says:

    So sorry I did not know your mother, that was a real woman. I actually heard idiots say that nurses (which I was one for 37 years) should still wear those white dresses and caps. I wanted to ask the person to follow me for 12 or so hours and see the physical work we did.

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  25. JAKvirginia says:

    Opinionated Hussy: YES! Current Occupant! I like that. If we add Effen in the middle we’ve got CEO. This could work!

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  26. I love all the “Dress Like a Woman” memes I’ve seen on Twitter and by following the link. Thanks Rhea.

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  27. My mom worked on carburetors for airplanes during the war.

    Glen L Martin did not care what she wore.

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  28. SteveTheReturned says:

    Clean YOURSELF up, Trump, before zeroing in on the women:

    1.) Man up, accept your hair loss, and get an appropriate cut.

    2.) If you’re a billionaire or thereabouts, you can afford suits that are well-tailored and actually fit you—as opposed to the sack jackets you wander around in, presently.

    3.) Fer Chrissakes, learn how to tie a necktie properly. It ain’t rocket science to get a tie to hang the proper link—instead of 4″ or 5″ too long, as they do, now.

    Once you’ve got yourself straightened out, tackle Bannon and get him looking like something better than a substance-abusing street person. After all that, you can deal with your female staff’s clothing.

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  29. 1smartcanerican says:

    I love your mother Alan! She is my kind of woman. Women are far stronger, smarter, and kinder than the idiot who is NMP! Thanks for sharing…..and thanks to all others who shared excellent stories about their mothers or themselves.

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  30. Alan, man, you were so damn lucky! I vividly remember rarely ever seeing my dad during WWII. He made airplanes and tanks and ignored to make some deadlines he actually slept on a cot in between the hulks he was working on. Mom, me and grandma worked like dogs on a Victory garden. Remember those? That kind of work called for overalls, unisex straw hats, and damn big garden gloves. Dress like a woman? Really? We also raised chickens in the back yard. Again, overalls. If we had dressed like a woman, as visualized at the time, we would have had very little to eat because rationing didn’t do all that much to fill our plates. We knew that the majority of farm produce, including livestock, was being used to feed out troops. Gripe a lot? No way. After all, we were working women.

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  31. Its official. I hate spell check. In order, not ignored. Our instead of out.

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  32. He meant sexy and appealing to him. Anyone who chooses to align themselves with him must not have much self respect.

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  33. Hmmm. Some of us can dress like Trumplethinskin’s version of “a woman” and use our stiletto heels on appropriate parts of his anatomy. His tie is nearly a foot too long; looks like a fat little boy who put on daddy’s tie after he put it on the chair still tied from yesterday.

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  34. Lunargent says:

    LynnN-

    Great minds do think alike. I don’t have the skillz, but wanted yo post that the Twitter with the caption:

    “Dress like a Woman – oh jeeze, Giuliani – not you!!”

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  35. There are more and more “Dress Like a Woman” images on Twitter and they’re all gorgeous! There are a few by drag queens and they’re really funny too. Nobody knows how to humiliate the Orange Imbecile like the Twitterverse. Bwahahahahahaha!!!!!

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  36. AlanInAustin ... says:

    First, let me apologize to mama. She’d expect me to write better than I did (I cringe now at my sentence structure & grammar), but feelings were running high.

    Second, thank YOU to all who expressed such positive comments. I’m sure that many of among those who go out each and cope with people who think & act like Twitler.

    Third, for some who might be wondering Mom was about 20 yo back then and weighing maybe 90-100#. Even so, she was still expected to don that canvas outfit, helmet, and gloves before dragging gas bottles around the Liberty ship — even during summers in NOLA.

    Lastly, no matter how much Twitler ever spends on his suits, hair, and shoes, he’ll never look 1% as fly as she does in that picture. And that’s a fact.

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  37. AlanInAustin ... says:

    Oops….one more loose end.

    My uncle was eventually found and, I’m told, his situation was like that you see in some war movies where surviving sailors had to try and survive as sharks circled in the waters. When the captain of the recovery ship brought the survivors onboard, he said: Everyone pick a brother and that brother gets half of everything you get and own.

    As fate would have it, one of the sailors recognized my uncle; they had played as friends on the streets of the 9th ward in NOLA. For security reasons, nobody could write home and say anything about the names of the people rescued, the ship, or anything else which might leak important information. His friend, though, was able to write his own mother. His message went something like this:

    “Do you remember that curly headed boy from down the street who had all those pretty sisters? If you see his mom, tell her I saw her son and he’s okay.”

    My uncle eventually made it back home and the family moved to rural Mississippi. There, my uncle became like a modern day Daniel Boone. He’d design and build homes himself, haunt the swamps for food, and became quite the sportsman. As far as I know, he never said anything about the war or his own experiences. The only thing I ever saw him do in that regard was (very rarely) blow a bosun’s whistle.

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  38. JAKvirginia says:

    AlanInAustin: Lucky you! What a rich history your family has. One from the intricate and beautiful tapestry that is America. When I hear stories like yours, I find it in my heart to love this country a little bit more. Thank you.

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  39. AIA: That sounds like the Indianapolis, very late in the war. (Though it might have been a smaller ship.) Used to haul parts for the atomic bombs to Tinian, the Indianapolis was then sent off to rejoin the fleet. It was sunk by a submarine on the way, and didn’t manage to get a message off before sinking. Due to bureaucratic snafus, nobody thought to look for it or went looking for it, and the survivors, when they were found, were in rough shape after several days in the water.

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