Holy Crap: I Think The Pope Is Gonna Be Pissed Edition

April 21, 2015 By: Juanita Jean Herownself Category: Uncategorized

Y’all, in answer to the question, “What gun would Jesus carry,” we have an answer.

Screen Shot 2015-04-21 at 8.54.45 AMA Catholic priest in Ann Arbor is taking heat for a pro-gun letter that encouraged parishioners to arm themselves, and said Christians too often pretend they live in a bucolic “Mayberry”-like world where bad things never happen.

The lengthy, 4,150-word missive is a followup to controversial announcement the Rev. Edward Fride made during Palm Sunday Mass when he said the Christ the King parish was offering concealed pistol licensing classes in response to an uptick in crime in the area, the Detroit Free Press reports.

I guess it’s official.  Jesus would have shot people who were messing with him.

The priest acknowledged his personal spiritual journey from being a pacifist to being The Terminator by writing a letter.

The priest clarified his position in the letter, which he titled “ We’re Not in Mayberry Anymore, Toto!”

You cannot mix metaphors.  That’s the law.  You can get shot for that on at least 27 college English departments.

Thanks to Mike for the heads up.

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0 Comments to “Holy Crap: I Think The Pope Is Gonna Be Pissed Edition”


  1. Don’t think Sherriff Andy, the Wizard of Oz nor Jesus would agree with this homily. Forsooth, Father Fride forgets the fifth commandment. Add to that the look of pride on that face for all his bulls’ eyes. Looks like he’s seen American Sniper one too many times.

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  2. A spiritual journey, like Highway 6, can run both ways (apologies to Tx Aggies). The reverend has decided to travel the road to hell.

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  3. If Mayberry had been awash with guns and zealots eager to use them it might have had a lot more bad things happening.

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  4. I suppose this ‘priest’ follows the old saying, “What Would Jesus Carry?” A Luger? Smith & Wesson? Remington?

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  5. Corinne Sabo says:

    What happened to ‘beat your swords into ploughshares’?

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  6. If only Jesus had armed his 12 disciples… we might now live in a better world. (And used the two Marys as scouts.)

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  7. Christ’s message was exactly the opposite of “Do unto others…before they do unto you.”

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  8. Aaaand a few more verses that they’ve ripped out of their Bibles:

    Matthew 21:52. “Then said Jesus unto him, Put up again thy sword into his place; for all they that take the sword shall perish with the sword.” (Similar in John 18:11.) [after a disciple tries to ward off the soldiers arresting Jesus]

    Another so-called Christian leader who needs reading lessons.

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  9. e platypus onion says:

    Uzis are Israeli,so I’m guessin’ the homey would have wanted to aid and abet Israeli arms dealers and order a whole slug of Uzis for the disciples and true believers.

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  10. capitol dave says:

    One of the reasons bad things didn’t happen in Mayberry was because Andy (who, by the way, was known for not carrying a gun) made Barney carry his bullet around in his shirt pocket.

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  11. Don’t be surprised if you hear this guy is suddenly retired. So far one bishop has been found guilty of shielding priests who preyed on children and has now resigned his post. This Pope is finally — f.i.n.a.l.l.y. cracking down.

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  12. Sandridge says:

    “9mm’s for Jeebus”…”Onward Xtian Militias”…
    The Church imports a lot of priests now, Fr. Fride’s name and appearance look German to me.

    I guess the neighborhood has gone downhill since I went to school and worked there. The place was the most bucolic sm/mid-sized city I’ve ever been in. Of course it was much smaller ~40-45 years ago.

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  13. daChipster says:

    TalG: Jesus would carry a Colt: “Blessed are the Peacemakers…”

    But Pope Frank, he don’t get pissed….

    … he gets pastoral on their A**!

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  14. Mary Beth Hilburn says:

    I’m guessing that all those abusing priests are glad this little homily wasn’t in place when they were doing crimes. That’s the only excuse I can see for carrying guns in church.

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