He’s Everywhere! He’s Everywhere! Louie Grabs the Microphone and Starts Primal Screaming.
Louie Gohmert, y’all. His middle name is Cringe.
He had himself a busy little day yesterday. First, he went all Bibi and started hitting things with his Bible.
The Texas congressman said that since Netanyahu’s upcoming address to Congress “is important for eternity,” Obama’s decision not to meet with the Israeli leader might bring about the judgment of God: “There is judgment that will come for nations that attempt to divide the nation of Israel and this White House seems determined to do that.”
Look, here’s how I see it. God already gave us eight years of George Bush and Dick Cheney so anything he does after that will look like he’s just jacking around.
I also know something that Netanyahu apparently doesn’t. The only reason Louie wants a strong Israel is so that God can destroy it and kill all the Jews while Louie watches. It’s kinda like Louie wants to build a Lego tower so that God can knock it down. Apparently that doesn’t bother Netanyahu right before an election.
And then, since he had a little air left over, he decides to go after women and, at the same time, fill the vacuum of leadership in the pro-rape lobby.
Gohmert then said that Republican women split the caucus by opposing the language on the rape exception. He said that opposition to the bill should have been voiced before the legislation made it to the House floor.
“I’m told that they’re still going to bring it back, but because there was such division among our Republican females, they pulled the bill that day,” he said. “And that was extremely unfortunate, and it sent the entirely wrong message.”
Our Republican females. What, Louie? Have you got binders full of them or something?
Look, I know that Louie is about twenty years, three sermons, and half a dozen NFL ball deflations beyond caring about hoochy-koochy, but I can guarantee you that he’s ain’t getting no nookie for the entire rest of his life. Seriously, women, write it on bathrooms walls: No nookie for the bald and ignorant guy from East Texas. Of course, I know that counts for 70% of the men in East Texas, but trust me, that’s really okay.
I was hoping for a trifecta before the sun went down last night, but apparently Louie needed a nap.
Thanks to everybody for threads up and John for the cool graphic.
I adore you.
1JJ… I discontinued my cable service about a week ago.
Not missing Louie on C-Span…… at all.
Sure won’t bother me not to hear what Bibi has to say.
Thank you for watching this craziness… so I don’t have to.
Peace.
2How can a constituent sit in any part of Louie’s district and not be utterly ashamed? I am and I have never lived in the nether regions of East Texas.
3I’m vaguely ashamed of being an American and living in a democracy because Louie managed to get elected, and I’ve never been within a thousand miles of him, I hope.
I’d ask if there’s a version of iDork to translate Palin, but I really don’t give a flip what either one of them is saying except for the sick-humor value.
“Our Republican females”…. I just can’t.
4I think no rape exception is absolutely the right thing.
Wait. Let me explain.
For those who believe that aborting a pregnancy – even from the moment of conception – constitutes a murder, there can’t be any exceptions for any reason, as they simply can’t countenance murder.
If you truly believe that, fine. You’re wrong, but fine. I get it.
But saying that abortion is legal if you’re raped, but not in other cases, says a few things that should really bother everyone. Either it says we’ll allow murder in certain rare cases (again, if you’re under the mistaken assumption that abortion is murder), or, more importantly, it says that under normal circumstances the state has the right to interfere with your private medical decisions.
I don’t think the state has the right to interfere with your private medical decisions ever, and how you deal with a pregnancy is certainly a private medical decision. It does not matter one bit HOW you came to be pregnant. It’s none of my business, and neither is how you choose to deal with it.
Rape exceptions say HOW you came to be pregnant matters when it comes to interfering with you and your doctor.
Bull****. I call bull****.
5wow what news. no nookie for louie! but why was he so fustrated before current events??
6My position on abortion:
Legal.
Safe.
Rare.
If you don’t want to have an abortion, don’t.
MYOB.
7And birth control readily available. That would go a long way toward eliminating the need for abortions.
At the University of Alaska here in Juneau there are posters up on many of the bulletin boards and in all of the women’s bathrooms that all types of birth control are available through the university. That’s how it should be!
By the way, does Lucky Loonie even have a wife or other female type in his life? I can’t imagine…I just can’t!
8John, I agree with your reasoning, but I don’t want to trample Good on the way to Perfect where Perfect is so hard to achieve. If you don’t have anywhere near the votes for “Your decision is none of our business,” it’s better to at least let rape victims make their own decisions.
There are countries where no abortion is allowed for any reason. Even if the pregnancy is going to kill the woman as well as the fetus, doctors, nurses, and her family are expected to just stand there and let it happen. They think this is their god’s will. Their “god” sucks.
9Not to worry, Louis will deliver on a trifecta. Yesterday was a training day…
10Rhea: I agree. My point is, though, that if we force people to choose between “no abortions at all for any reason” and “stay completely out of it” the large majority of Americans will opt for the latter.
Getting involved in questions of rape and incest exceptions yields the moral high ground to the wrong people.
11Louis has tripped over his long red pointed tail so often that he has decided he likes it and will keep on doing it.
Pointed tail? Yeah. The one Beelzebub loaned him for a weekend and never got it back.
12Oh the horror! Women of all people objecting to a rape bill. You’d think it was women that get raped in the first place. Geez Louise and damn the torpedoes.
13Louis’ god isn’t infallible. Louis and his wingnut compadres are living proof of that axiom.
14This world would have been a far better place had Louie Gohmert been aborted. Just saying.
15So, Louie has the job as point man for the GOP outreach to women program, then? Doing about as well as all their other outreach programs.
16Gohmert expresses the Republican’t view of women so adroitly:
17“Our Republican females”…sent the entirely wrong message.”
The message that women have any power whatsoever.
Our Republican females? What species?
18Louie Shakespeare-I think not,therefore I am not.
19Louie’s fame is spreading — he’s even managed to rile people in Alaska (and Alaska IS bigger than Texas).
20http://www.stonekettle.com/2015/01/the-boogeyman-is-gonna-get-you.html
Poor Louie. Poor folks in his district. Bless all their hearts.
21I am astonished with their level of stupidity, but their level of craziness is beyond comprehension.
22I don’t think that Republican female nookie presents a problem for Louie since he seems to have the hots for Bibi.
23I find it interesting that there are folks who truly believe that an all-knowing, all-powerful deity can be so transparently manipulated into commencing the End Days.
Do they really think such a God would be as credulous and ill-informed as an avid viewer of Fox News? Or do they picture a God as a video game, where clicking the correct buttons in the proper sequence causes a fixed event to occur?
24@That Other Jean
25Poor Louie! Several things can happen when you are “on point”. None of them are good.
Micr, visions of Loopy Louie “on point” … nah … that would raise the Loopster to semi-equality with a working dog. We could probably work a sentence with Louie and dog, but working would be a real challenge in a sentence with Louie.
Ruh Roh … this just in: Santorum may cast Louie some asparagus over his encroachment on Rick’s dog turf.
26