Fun With Guns: Too Drunk to Fish Edition

February 12, 2017 By: Juanita Jean Herownself Category: Uncategorized

Michigan, y’all.

Last Thursday at around 3:45 am, off-duty police officer Andrew Mulder, was .08 drunk.  Honey, that’s too damn drunk to stand up.  So he did the next best thing.

He shot himself in the knee.  I am pretty certain that there’s a good story behind this because I don’t care how drunk you are shooting yourself in the knee is pretty damn stoopid.

I mean, you wouldn’t be trying to commit suicide and if you were passed out on the bed, shooting yourself in the knee would require Olympic gymnast skills. Maybe he was doing a self-field-sobriety test and things went whacky.

I suspect Officer Mulder will tell us how this happened, but it’s only Sunday so he probably hasn’t sobered up enough yet.

Thanks to Carl for the heads up.

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8 Comments to “Fun With Guns: Too Drunk to Fish Edition”


  1. I’d say he was probably practicing being Quick Draw McGraw, and pulled the trigger whilst pulling his thingy out of the leather storage unit strapped to his leg.

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  2. MADD pushed in the early 80s for lowering the presumed intoxicated limit from .10 to .08 because a few medical doctors had stated that “everyone” was “under the influence” of alcohol by .08. “under the influence” is vastly different from “falling down drunk” although for some it may be “commode hugging drunk”. I would opine that a point blank shot to the knee of a .08 drunk would tend to sober them up quickly. Thinking fast and walking slow have never been so important.

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  3. JAKvirginia says:

    Maybe he was wearing BLACK pants. I’m just sayin.

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  4. Here in AZ. We have a rule, Any one to drunk to sing, has to drive. Just think one more drink and he might have missed his knee.

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  5. I always feel so safe when a police officer, off-duty or not, shows that he (always he) has no clue about gun safety. No chance that anything will be done to correct this because it was an “accident.”

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  6. L'Angelomisterioso says:

    @Rastybob#4- Sounds like a good rule to me. Eventually Darwin’s law( and the alcohol) would catch up to those karaoke performers who believe they’re the deity’s gift to whatever innocent tune they’re butchering at the moment. I feel bad for the innocent tunes,and for the innocent drivers beset by drunken former( and future) pedestrians.

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  7. Not sure if this is a near-miss Darwin Award or a redneck X-File.

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  8. JAKvirginia, very good. Very, very good.

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