Fun With Guns: If You Live and Florida and Have a Gun And a Dog, You Are Screwed Because That Dog Is Gonna Shoot You Edition

October 30, 2015 By: Juanita Jean Herownself Category: Uncategorized

Yep, Florida is one dog-shoots-man state.

It’s pretty dadgum hard to get reliable statistics on the number of times a dog shoots somebody because in most cases people are too damn embarrassed to fess up.  They tape up their wounds at home or claim they shot themselves cleaning their gun instead of admitting that Prince or Spot finally got even for that whole neutering thing.

A very bored reporter investigated shooting by dogs, and came up with this handy little graph.


Screen Shot 2015-10-30 at 9.47.28 AM

Way to go, Florida.

Thanks to Ralph for the heads up.

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10 Comments to “Fun With Guns: If You Live and Florida and Have a Gun And a Dog, You Are Screwed Because That Dog Is Gonna Shoot You Edition”

  1. Elizabeth Moon says:

    Anyone shot by their (or a neighbor’s) cat? I can certainly understand how a dog could pull the trigger, or knock the firearm off a surface, and since Floridians (like some Texans) will always want their piece to be ready to fire immediately and have probably had their triggers altered to make that easier….well, shoot.

    I am presently in such a state of rage over officer Kleinert’s “accidental” shooting of Larry Eugene Jackson (white cop, black victim) and the argument that made the judge dismiss the case that I can’t even think dogs shooting people is funny. If Kleinert had not been (supposedly) “working for the FBI” at the time–if he had been, say, another black man angry with Jackson for some reason–it would have been murder.

  2. I don’t think it’s ever an accident if a dog does it. They’re too good a judge of character. If one shoots you, you definitely deserved it.

  3. e platypus onion says:

    If your best friend can’t shoot you,what’s this world coming to?

  4. Polite Kool Marxist says:

    The cats are coming, the cats are coming!

    Actually, Elizabeth Moon makes a very good point. How many ammosexuals have been wounded by their faithful felines? At a guess, more than will ever admit it. Canine and feline good guys with guns may be the number 1 under reported statistic.

    She also reminds us that our justice system is in serious need of reform. Too many people out there with badges performing the role of judge, jury and executioner without consequence. DOJ needs full funding to investigate and prosecute the Teatards who are subverting our Constitution in too many states.

  5. I asked our dogs if I had done anything to any of them that any of them thought justified shooting me.

    The Chihuahua x Dachshund mutt rolled over on her back and wiggled and wagged her tail.

    The black Lab x GSD mix cocked an ear but looked away.

    The ACD x border collie was too busy working (“Herding, my favorite thing. Running with Micr, my favorite thing, etc etc) to acknowledge my question. I’m worried just a bit about her.

  6. Polite Kool Marxist says:

    Micr, no worries with your three. They already have you right where they want you to even consider shooting you. But you might want to reconsider using “mutt” and “mix” for obvious designer dogs who are quite proud of their expanded gene pool. Jane’s house pooch is a Golden Doodle, a mutt by old definitions, but don’t tell either one of them that the empress isn’t a special designer breed.

  7. @pkm
    Of course you are correct.

    The expanded gene pool Chihuahua x Dachshund, named Good Golly Miss Molly, believes she is merely the smallest member, a dog sister as it were, of a numerous and altogether dysfunctional pack. She does not understand why her Alpha allows all these Epsilons to ever leave once they periodically return.

    The expanded gene pool pup, the ACD x border collie is a herding machine with an IQ at least twice that of even the brightest Tea Partier. He rescued me a couple of years ago on a deer hunting jaunt near Sinton, Tx and has been caring for me since.

    My oldest son showed up with the Lab x GSD gal and she shows every sign of knowing a good deal. If she ever did a lick of work I’d be happier. “here take my keys and go wash my truck instead of laying on the stoop in everyone’s way”.

  8. Our dogs are our better selves. Can’t imagine life without those big brown eyes pretending I’m in charge. No guns here in case someone is tempted.

  9. WallyinFl says:

    I love dogs, cats I guess, black bears just murdered here in FL, other assorted innocent animals except fish but maybe it’s just me.

    The dumb a,, dog I have is way too wierd and stupid to be anywhere near a loaded gun, I love the girl don’t get me wrong but dogs or cats or black bears for that matter don’t need access to deadly weapons nothing good can happen.

  10. Sam in San Antonio says:

    Let’s hope the dogs pick up the pace.