Fun With Guns: Go Stand In The Corner Edition

August 29, 2013 By: Juanita Jean Herownself Category: Uncategorized

Arkansas Sen. Jeremy Hutchinson, a Republican, favors arming teachers to protect schools.  And probably teachers, too, except that part’s not real clear.

Arkansas Sen. Jeremy Hutchinson (R) recently participated in “active shooter” training and mistakenly shot a teacher who was confronting a so-called bad guy. The experience gave Hutchinson “some pause” but failed to shake his confidence in the plan.

“The ideal would be to have a trained resource officer in every school,” Hutchinson told the paper. “The state and school districts can’t afford that.”

But, hell, we can afford to shoot a few teachers.  Teacher are like, what, a dime a dozen or something?

Now this is not the first time the good State Senator has had embarrassing moments.  There was the time his wife whacked him in the head with a “small preserved alligator head” when she found out he had a girlfriend he was paying out of his campaign account.  She got charged with domestic battery, which doesn’t seem right because alligator head whacking isn’t even illegal in most states.  Plus, she could have just said that she didn’t know it was loaded when she whacked.

Hutchinson says he was teaching his girlfriend proper English, like the difference between “seen” and “saw”, which, of course, is a high level of literacy in Arkansas.

The girlfriend’s sister sides with Hutchinson.

McGee said Hutchinson gave her the money to live on because she was unemployed, aside from a job on his campaign staff that she said was a sham.

McGee said her sister hates her and is “on his side.”

“The last time I saw her I beat her up really bad,” she said.

This is just my opinion, but I’m willing to bet that is most certainly the last time you saw her.

So now he’s lost his wife and he and his girlfriend are on the outs, so all he’s got left is teacher-shooting.

Let this be a cautionary tale:  if an Republican Arkansas state senator comes near you, run like you’re being chased by an alligator head.

I cannot make this stuff up.

Thanks to Carl for the heads up.

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22 Comments to “Fun With Guns: Go Stand In The Corner Edition”


  1. Read the article. Words fail me.
    And you would vote for this idiot over a Democrat because of Obama care?

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  2. So…. who in Arkansas does this guy represent….. if anybody?

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  3. I think by gave him “some pause” he meant he shot, stopped to reload, and before he could fire off another round someone said, “hey idiot, you shot the good guy!”

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  4. Ah, Republicans…the party of No Blame, No Shame.

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  5. Marge Wood says:

    Speechless in Austin.

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  6. Sigh. Like I said before, he and his ilk are all results of insufficient diversification. What a loser!

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  7. The armed-teacher school in Kansas can no longer get insurance coverage for the teachers. I say arm the Texas teachers and have a personal insurance set up for them, and take the money needed from the personal bank accounts for the legislators that vote it in. Sounds fair.

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  8. Now there’s a fine, up-standing leader of men.
    We should all listen to his words of wisdom, except HE SHOT A TEACHER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    We are over run by morons who cheat on their wives and think they have all the answers. They don’t even understand the questions. I am beginning to see why Repugs don’t believe in evolution. It passed them by.

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  9. Only a matter of time until a kid gets shot by an inadequately trained teacher/janitor/congressworm…. or finds a gun in the restroom that someone forgot….

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  10. mike from iowa says:

    Retardicans-what war on women?

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  11. Lorraine in Spring says:

    I need one of those small preserved alligator heads for my local Congresscritter. I’ll get one in NOLA when I pick up my Louie Gohmert Voodoo Doll.

    Perhaps an alligator filled moat around the school might be a better idea than giving teachers, janitors & Republicans actual firearms.

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  12. “Plus, she could have just said that she didn’t know it was loaded when she whacked.” If “it” references his head, I think that’s a bullet proof defense.

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  13. There must be some words—but I don’t have them.

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  14. It was a “teacher”, not a teacher. In his third go through during a police ‘active shooter training’, he shot (with rubber bullets) a plain clothes officer who was in a hallway shooting into a classroom at the simulatedl shooter.

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  15. The better option is really quite simple. Remember how private schools sprouted all over the South in reaction to the feds forcing integration on public schools? Okay, now follow my train of thought.

    If those PRIVATE schools armed THEIR teachers & principals instead, those in favor could move THEIR children to those schools & pay extra for the insurance. Those teachers could even teach extra-curricula classes in use of firearms on school property. No complaints – those who don’t agree, would take their children elsewhere.

    Public school populations would decline causing student:teacher ratios to improve more in line with state/federal funding levels. Such a result would benefit all students in public schools, making their parents happier.

    What’s not to like????

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  16. CerealCitySue says:

    Thank you for the link to the original article. I wish I could live long enough to write fiction as good as that. How can these people live such stressful lives and get any actual work done?

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  17. I’m just amazed that so much stupid can be packed into our little state. I read about this today in our local paper, but they omitted the part about Hutchison shooting anyone. *shaking head*

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  18. I have to say that is why you run a simulation. And in this case, it was instructive. He has backed away from “guns for everybody” in schools. I don’t think he’s ever going to get the whole “wife/girlfriend” thing, though.

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  19. Betty@Georgetown says:

    Being whacked with a small, preserved alligator head sounds loads better than being whacked with a large, fresh alligator head.

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  20. Betty, especially if it’s still attached to the rest of the alligator.

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  21. Lorraine in Spring, good luck with the Louie voodoo doll. I saw someone’s fridge magnet with an ad for Marie Louveau’s House of Voodoo: “Stay in touch with your ex. Even if the marriage wasn’t magic, the divorce can be.” Sounds like Hutchinson’s ex could use one of those dolls.

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  22. I have wondered several times just what is supposed to happen when good guys with guns confront bad guys with guns and then the police show up. I suspect that when police see a civilian with a gun they will assume he’s a bad guy until proven otherwise. Possibly posthumously.

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