Fun With Guns: Bringing Testicles To a Gunfight

January 30, 2014 By: Juanita Jean Herownself Category: Uncategorized

Portland, Oregon

In a case where you know the backstory is better than what’s being reported, two men in Portland, Oregon, got into a gunfight. Both were injured but only one fired his gun.

One man from Tuesday night’s downtown Portland shooting remains hospitalized with a gunshot wound to his leg, while the 40-year-old suspect is being treated for an accidental, self-inflicted gunshot wound to his testicles, police said Wednesday.

Some days it’s worth getting out of bed just to read the news.

Thanks to Irene for the heads up.

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0 Comments to “Fun With Guns: Bringing Testicles To a Gunfight”


  1. After reading the linked article all I can think is “Poetic Justice”.

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  2. I’m sputtering here patrons…
    He doesn’t carry his weapon in a holster: what’s wrong with him??
    He kept his finger on the trigger while slipping the weapon into his pocket. Wow.
    If his finger was on the trigger the fact the weapon discharged wasn’t “accidental”. As has been pointed out previously here, that’s how the damn thing works. Pull the trigger it goes bang. If your nuts are in front of the barrel, welllllllll….

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  3. This almost was a rare Darwin-where he removed himself from the gene pool and lived.

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  4. Wonder if he was practicing for the observation of Darwin Day on February 12th. If so, did he really get it right? Inquiring minds want to know!

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  5. Marcia in CO says:

    Self castration! LOL Hurt much?

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  6. A fitting ending and yes, we won’t have to worry about anymore little pocket pullers from this fine fellow.

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  7. Couldn’t have happened to a nicer guy, except maybe Glenn Hegar with his fully automatic M-16.

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  8. I’m thinking testicles are almost always de rigeur for a gunfight.

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  9. gun nuts…. 🙂

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  10. I would argue that the suspect didn’t do a serious job on his nuts if he was able to get out a window and walk some distance. Either that, or he was so drunk he didn’t feel much.

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  11. Have you read the comments in the story? Some are really funny!

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  12. I don’t really believe in karma, but sometimes . . .

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  13. Marcia in CO says:

    Elizabeth … I should imagine any gunshots to that man’s pecans caused a lot of pain … if he was walking bowlegged, you gotta believe he may have been humming “Great Balls of Fire” … LOL

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  14. donquijoterocket says:

    Now if there were only some way to assure that the rest of the gunhumpers in this country followed his example we’d all be a lot better off.
    @ Mike- A consummation devoutly… I’ don’t mind seeing these sorts add themselves to the Darwin list, but I’d just as leave keep the body count down. Maybe the Darwins could add a separate category for being included but surviving.

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  15. e platypus onion says:

    Just imagine if christians and the NRA got together to explain that god created Adam,Steve and a Glock and Steve put it in his pants and voila-became Eve. And you can also imagine the evil serpent having been Steve’s before radical reconstruction south of his beltway and that is why guns are held in reverent esteem by christian morons and gun nuts.They handsome pair got kicked out of the garden of eden for lying about hiow Steve became Eve. The End.

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  16. The only thing surprising about that story is that it happened in Portland, OR.

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