Fun With Guns: Bicycle Perjury Edition

August 30, 2013 By: Juanita Jean Herownself Category: Uncategorized

From Connecticut (this stuff is spreading).

A Connecticut man, who accidentally shot himself while riding a bicycle, was arrested this week after lying to police and saying that a “gang” of men wearing black hoodies had attacked him.

Yeah, like a whole gang of them.  I couldn’t be taken down by just one because I’m a macho man – not the kind of wimp who accidentally shoots himself.

But Docteur finally admitted that the gun in his waistband had gone off and he had shot himself after he was not able to explain why there was only a hole where the bullet exited from his pants. He was also not able to tell police what happened to his handgun after the incident.

Did they look in his pants?

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18 Comments to “Fun With Guns: Bicycle Perjury Edition”

  1. Lorraine in Spring says:

    And people wonder why I am more afraid of responsible gun owners than criminals.

    Criminals will just take your stuff. Responsible gun owners will take your life.

    I was taught as a child: NOTHING is worth more than a human life. If a criminal wants your purse, give it to him. You can always buy more stuff but you can’t restore a human life.

    Somehow, that lesson was lost on the last couple of generations.

    I’m looking at you, NRA.

  2. Responsible gun owner #582.

  3. Bicycles did not exist when the 2nd Amendment was written. So clearly the wisdom of our founding fathers never intended for a “well trained militia” to ride bikes. Plus, there’s no room to affix your “Right to Bear Arms” bumper sticker.

  4. Bud Malone says:

    Not a brilliant comment from me. I just hope it hurt real bad.

  5. @ Bud Malone: Ditto.

  6. “looked in his pants” ??? Nothing to see here. Move along. 😉

  7. Aggieland liz says:

    They could always put the bumper stickers on their butts. They already use them for bullet storage.

  8. Marge Wood says:

    And my grandson doesn’t even want to carry his keys in his pocket because they are uncomfortable. I hope that carries over to when he’s old enough to carry a gun.

  9. Another candidate for Moron Insurance with a self-destruct rider.

  10. buskyandme says:

    So on “target.” I can’t stop laughing!

    Momma, please don’t watch this (language). Everyone else, ENJOY!

  11. Maybe he was just shooting off his mouth.

  12. Typical of the stuff my late brother in law Moose saw when he went hunting in the north woods. People shooting low at what they thought was a rabbit and it actually was someone out hiking in white socks. Worse yet for us as far as health insurance is concerned: moronocy is a pre-existing condition.

  13. Corinne Sabo says:

    I have a pale yellow hoodie with Tweetie on it. I guess tha means I can only use bird shot……

  14. Marion (formerly known as MM) says:

    Reminds me of going for a weekend at the coast when I lived in Oregon. My boyfriend, unbeknownst to me, was outside the motel room playing mumbly peg when the knife went into his thigh – deep.

    We had a huge disagreement about how we were going to get him to the hospital for stitches on the road to town carved out of a vertical cliff above the ocean.

    I said either I could drive (not wanting to be on that winding room if he went into shock) or he could go alone.
    He tried hard to get me to agree to come with him with him driving. I’d already been driving on those roads for years and they were new to him.

    Eventually, he said I should drive. However, from the passenger seat, he still thought he was really in charge of driving. And no, that wasn’t the end of our relationship. He was my lovable idjit.

  15. Marion (formerly known as MM) says:

    road, not room.

  16. Marion (formerly known as MM) says:

    In the fall in Oregon, at the trailheads into the mountains, the cows would be labeled in bright red huge letters “COW”. My dog looked enough like a deer that I would always put a colorful bandana on her when going backpacking. No accounting for men with guns drinking alcohol.

  17. Buskyandme, thank you for that link. A good laugh at the end of the day. Stupidity is the gift that keeps on giving.

  18. “This my rifle; this is my gun.
    This is for shooting; this is for … ah dammit!”