For Sale: One Slightly Ostentatious Mansion

January 29, 2015 By: Juanita Jean Herownself Category: Uncategorized

Y’all, it just so happens that my birthday is in June, just in time for Mitt’s house to go on the market

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I have a confession to make.  I know why God did not let me be rich.  My house has two stories.  Every time I want something it’s on the wrong floor.  If I need a measuring tape while I’m downstairs, it’s upstairs.  If I need it when I’m upstairs, I moved it downstairs the day before. Can you even imagine me with three houses?  I’d spend day and night flying between them hunting for the measuring tape.  However, I imagine that Mitt is so rich that he has three measuring tapes so he can have one at each house.  I hope it’s on the wrong damn floor.

Thanks to Craig for the heads up.

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0 Comments to “For Sale: One Slightly Ostentatious Mansion”


  1. Measuring tape on the wrong floor? Mitt has people for that.

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  2. A rotating garage? I can scarcely wrap my widdo brain around that! I once ate at a rotating restaurant many years ago. It was the top of a skyscraper and it very gently rotated as you tried to eat and keep it all down and hope the damn thing didn’t decide to spin off and go sailing 80 stories down. But a rotating garage? The place has been in construction for some time now with a finish date nowhere in sight. No wonder the neighbors are fed up! Do I have a garage? No. Not stationary or rotating. My vehicle takes it on the chin, but then us 47% are tough like that!

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  3. No, no Ann has the tape measure in her apron pocket. She wants it at the ready for measuring the White House for the drapes. Next she will be figuring out where to build the stables for that damn horse.

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  4. @Birdee
    I hope Ann never so much as sees the inside of the WH. Even in pictures in a coffee table book.

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  5. Oh, Juanita, you have the hired help run and fetch whatever isn’t at your fingertips. Man, you sure can tell new money from old money ;D

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  6. Well, it seems that Mittens has decided that he really, really, really wants to live in Utah among his own kind. So, he’s bought a house there (a big one, I presume). That La Jolla mansion has proved to be quite the albatross around his neck, since his neighbors there seem to be quite the pissers.

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  7. Polite Kool Marxist says:

    $Rmoney, another math challenged Republican seeks to reduce the number of houses he owns. Wouldn’t want him to repeat the McCain gaffe of not being able to recall how many houses he owned.

    Anyone in the mood for a sucker bet this morning? Or, what are the odds Mittens and his Queen sell the house and donate the proceeds to prove their sincerity about ‘caring’ about income inequality. Oh, and those take (thank you, Micr)returns of yours, any chance you might find them, while packing up your garage?

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  8. Frankly the upstairs-downstairs thing is how I get exercise.

    These people are so frackin’ rich they’ve got people who sit around figuring out how they can spend some of their money. And they even think they deserve it all because they’re better than we are. It must be impossible to have any sense of perspective when you can have any bloody thing you want.

    I got a couple copies of a fancy-houses-for-sale magazine because it was fun to look at the photos and have a moment’s fantasy of living there (or in some cases think, “Dang, I have so much more class and taste than these tacky people”), but then I started thinking of the smug farts who can actually afford those places and the fun went out of it.

    I’m not bitter because they can afford all that crap– I just wish they’d have their assumptions challenged once in a while, and I doubt that they are.

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  9. Old Mayfly says:

    I watch several HGTV shows–mainly about house renovation, and I loved “Curb Appeal”, which isn’t on anymore. But one of their shows I absolutely hate–it is “Million Dollar Room.” Rhea is right about “tacky.” Wretched excess is an ugly thing.

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  10. AlanInAustin says:

    One thing you can count on:

    The garage only rotates to the right.

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  11. Marge Wood says:

    Gives you something to ponder on, don’t it.

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  12. @Marge Wood…
    With apologies to the Brain…
    “Are you pondering what I’m pondering?”

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  13. Marge Wood says:

    What I’m actually pondering is getting dressed and going to Strange Brew but I’m all for pondering on getting a Democrat elected at all levels.

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  14. @Marge Wood
    OK I’ll byte, “Strange Brew” as in “Strange Brew, kill what’s inside of you” etc etc… Eric Clapton/Cream circa 1967?????

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  15. If this means he’s leaving California then I’m all for it.

    Unless, of course, Donald Trump is in the market.

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  16. Corinne Sabo says:

    My house is less than 1,000 feet and I can’t find stuff when I need it.

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  17. The 1% are so out of touch with real life, they are incapable of seeing beyond their pampered existence. In the film about the Koch brothers and their support of Scott Walker’s union busting campaign, their representative (making $300,000) complained about those pampered public unions which were sucking the public resources dry. I had to turn it off or my blood pressure would have been off the charts. They think teachers, firefighters, police, public workers are living a pampered life?
    I’d like to see them live it for a week.

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  18. Corinne, if Mitt can’t find stuff in one of his mansions, he just buys a couple dozen more of whatever it is. Apparently that includes cars and extra houses. If he loses his wife, he may go all Brigham Young on us.

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  19. Elizabeth Moon says:

    Measuring tapes are cheap. So are other useful things that if they’re in every place you need them, you don’t lose them. That’s my mother-the-engineer had a pair of pliers, a small hammer, and two screwdrivers (one flat head, one Phillips) in the kitchen, in the bathroom, and on the back porch (where other tools were) in her house, and why I have three tape measures–one in the knitting bag, one in the bedside workbasket and one tucked into the glove-and-scarf drawer because it’s the backup. I’m not nearly as organized as my mother, or I’d have the pliers, screwdrivers, and hammer in *both* bathrooms and the kitchen. (I do have them in the kitchen, and boy is that handy!)

    You don’t have to be rich to have two tape measures.

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  20. I predict that rMoney will not fulfill the White Horse prophecy, no matter how many times he runs.

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