Dude, Really? That’s Your Defense?

March 04, 2015 By: Juanita Jean Herownself Category: Uncategorized

Florida Republican State Representative Frank Artiles has been accused of cold-cocking a college student in Tallahassee on Monday night.

Screen Shot 2015-03-04 at 10.52.57 AMThree eye witnesses have come forward.  Additionally, this is not the first time Artiles has been in a brawl.  He kinda has a reputation for that.

His defense?  It didn’t happen.

And how do you know that.  Because Artiles preened and explained.

A former Marine, Artiles suggested Tuesday he would only deliver the kind of blow that would result in serious pain.

“If I had hit somebody, they’d be in the hospital,” he said.

Great defense, dude.  “I put people in the hospital,” ain’t exactly the attitude called for in this situation.

Thanks to chloe bear for the heads up.

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0 Comments to “Dude, Really? That’s Your Defense?”


  1. Speaking as a former Marine, let me make this observation, seems he ran behind the bar after he hit the kid, I call B.S. the guy is a punk.

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  2. Can’t wait for the prosecutor and the judge to hear this!

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  3. Sam in San Antonio says:

    Burnishing his TEA Party credentials no doubt.

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  4. I hope the kid files charges.

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  5. e platypus onion says:

    Incidentally, Artiles is the man behind one of this year’s most controversial bills: a law that would forbid transgender people from using their preferred bathrooms. That bill is set to be heard in its first committee tomorrow.

    First report on Twitter was he sucker punched the kid who was trying to get to the bar and get drinks.

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  6. I don’t know what he’s got all that space above his eyebrows for. He’s not using any of it.

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  7. shortpeople says:

    @Rhea it’s his bile/caca del toro storage tank.

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  8. Agreed. Frank Artiles is a poseur. And likely a punk as well.

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  9. shortpeople says:

    And I think he’s using his cheeks for the overflow.

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  10. maryelle says:

    Artiles does dishonor to the Marines and to the people of Florida.
    Another Repugnant bites the dust.

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  11. e platypus onion says:

    https://twitter.com/VegasJessie/status/571048116054396929/photo/1

    The de-evolution of wingnuts in pictures.

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  12. Corinne Sabo says:

    My dog didn’t bite you. My dog doesn’t bite. I don’t have a dog. Sound similar? Really, my dog has only growled at EMTs who were helping me.

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  13. At the risk of starting a posting dustup..
    My sainted father was a Marine from 1942 until he died in 1990. He retired in 1969 but he never left the Corps. Since he cannot speak, I believe I can speak for him when I say Rep Frank Artiles may well have served in the Corps. But he failed to understand and embrace the Core Values. He is a poseur as a Marine as well. He is a punk.

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  14. Rep Artiles has shown he is a THUG. I can’t believe he was in the Marines, being in Florida he shows thorough lack of situational awareness. The next guy he confronts may just stand his ground.

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  15. Micr, my oldest “was” a Marine reservist who trained at Parris Island and Twentynine Palms. He saw active duty in Kuwait and “Mission Accomplished” Iraq. Though he may no longer officially be in the Corps you are correct, he will always be a Marine. I concur with your assessment of Artiles. He is a poseur and a punk, and if I may say so, a disgrace to the uniform.

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  16. e platypus, that de-evolution of Republicans is a slander on perfectly good apes and anthropoids.

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  17. The devolution of Republicans is perfect. Thanks epo. And Rhea, your additional comment is on the nose too.

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  18. Elizabeth Moon says:

    As another one of Uncle Sam’s Misguided Children, I say Artiles is a bully and a disgrace to the Corps. Cultivating a mean look and a right hook does not make someone a Marine. And should he show his ugly mug anywhere near me, I’ll tell him so. I’ll bet he’d try to hit an old woman. I’ll bet it would be an interesting few seconds.

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