But If He’s Having Sex, Make That A Minute and a Half

December 11, 2016 By: Juanita Jean Herownself Category: Uncategorized

Okay, so Donald Trump is taking Daily Intelligence Briefings only once a week, which kinda makes the Daily part subject to whim.

The reason?

“You know, I’m, like, a smart person,” he said. “I don’t have to be told the same thing in the same words every single day for the next eight years.”

Wait.  He thinks the intelligence briefing is something that helps his general intelligence?  You know, like explaining Newton’s Laws or the water symbolism in “The Rime of the Ancient Mariner”?

What I think: He doesn’t understand a damn word they are saying.

But, he has a failsafe.

He added that he had instructed the officials who give the briefing: “‘If something should change from this point, immediately call me. I’m available on a one-minute’s notice.’”

That’s how long his attention span is – one minute.

Just so you know.

 

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0 Comments to “But If He’s Having Sex, Make That A Minute and a Half”


  1. The Situation Room will be renamed The Only When Absolutely Required Room.
    The Doomsday Clock will become the Doomsday Calendar.
    Trump’s subscription to The Readers Digest will continue to be for one issue only, once a year.

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  2. Now, if we can just train the rest of the world not to do any more crucial stuff than can fit into a single briefing each week….piece of cake.

    I think that he honestly doesn’t get that it’s not all a big reality show, and that the events will absolutely not be scripted. At least, not by his scriptwriters.

    Epically Not Good.

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  3. P. S.

    Also, monumentally Unfit for Office. I wonder how long till the Palace Coup,

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  4. Chloe Bear says:

    “…next eight years” thought he was elected for four.

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  5. e platypus onion says:

    I’m like a smart person. If someone tells me something I don’t want to hear, I’ll say it is false and who dares gainsay any different? onion has spoken.

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  6. JAKvirginia says:

    OH! EM!! GEE!!! Is THAT how he defines a “smart person”? Oh, crap. I guess we solve this by using new words to describe the same old stuff? WTH, he won’t know.

    Available on a “one-minute’s notice”. Uh-huh. Check look in mirror, check hair, check tan, check tape on tie….. OKAY! Good to go! Let’s do this!!!

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  7. Classic Donnie Douchebag. This way, when he doesn’t act on some piece of intelligence, all he’s got to do is claim that he wasn’t briefed on it. “C’mon those idiots at the C.I.A. shoulda known that this was one of those one minute things. They’re fired!” And JJ, with Melania staying in New York, surely there won’t be too many minute and a half things right?

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  8. Marcia in CO says:

    I yelled at the TV when I heard him say that “… next 8 years” crap … at least he has high hopes for an extended stay somewhere … I’d prefer it NOT be in the White House.

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  9. slipstream says:

    What’s there to worry about? Who needs CIA briefings?

    The National Security Advisor will be following Alex Jones, so nothing important will be missed.

    Lord help us all.

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  10. The correct quote is “I’m like a smart man.” That’s different than actually being a smart man; only similar to a smart man.

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  11. But he did say the Mike Pence will be getting daily briefings. I guess that makes him Trumps’ Prime Minister.

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  12. Jane & Polite Kool Marxist says:

    There seems to be some misapprehension going on here that Donnie will be the one doing the doing. Vlad believes in a double fail safe program. If Rex isn’t sufficiently odious, be sure to back him up with John Bolton. Stock up on airline sickness bags. It will be a bumpy flight until impeachment.

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  13. He said a while back that he has a great brain. It must be in a jar on his desk, but it’s still Abbie Normal.

    The people prepping him for the debates were concerned that he has no attention span. This is not going to end well. He reminds me of all those idiots out there driving like they’re in a video game, ignoring the fact that a moment’s inattention could result in multiple people dying. The other day one who was sentenced to 12 years for killing three people said he didn’t know that doing 115 in a 45 zone was dangerous. Coulda been Donnie….

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  14. To damn dumb to know that its not all about him. Its about the country! Afraid this isn’t the only hall pass he is going to grant himself when it comes to actually doing the job. Pence will be President as per the job description whereas Trump will be President in name only. He’s got to bow out! For the sake of this country! The election was impacted by the Russians. Even McCain agrees it was. Ordinarily, like other democracies around the world, that would mean a new election. Why bother? The jobs should simply default to the one who already has the most popular votes and is getting more every day! She knows everyone in charge all around the world. They’re on her Christmas card list! No learning curve here!

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  15. Tilphousia says:

    Maggie said it all. Trump is not qualified. Used a foreign to steal the presidency and MUST be declared forfeit! Hillary won the popular vote by almost three million votes and climbing. Do the right thing, electors and elect the real winner.

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  16. e platypus onion says:

    Nate Silver ✔ @NateSilver538
    Clinton lost 4 states (FL, MI, WI, PA) by ~1 point. If not for Comey/Russia, she probably wins them all by ~2 points & strategy looks great.
    11:38 AM – 10 Dec 2016

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  17. Steve The Returned says:

    So—the next time ISIS pulls off an attack in the U.S., we can ask this “smart person” why he didn’t prevent it. Then he and little Kellyanne can claim he never, ever said such a thing. And his moronic following will believe them. Ain’t we got fun?

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  18. We expect the electors from those blood red states to do the right thing? They hated Obama, they hate Hillary and liberals are the enemy, not Russia.
    Now that Republicans have all the power, they’re not going to put our country ahead of their corrupt party.
    Now that Big Oil, Wall Street, Russian sympathizers and climate deniers are in charge, they are licking their chops to do their dirty work. Is there no recourse?

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  19. maryelle–My sentiments exactly. But I don’t expect Pence to be running The Donnie Show; I think he’s going to put Ivanka et al. in charge.

    maggie–You said in all in your first 3 words.

    Tilphousia–Not at all convinced he “used” Putin; I think Putin saw a mark and hit it.

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  20. e platypus onion says:

    Jane and PKM-Bolton does not like or trust Putin.No way he gets in the Sec of sucking Putin’s wanger office.

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  21. e platypus onion says:

    Drumpf is a groping tool. Putin is utterly ruthless. One of them is going to take it in the bum and it won’t be Putin.

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  22. In this same interview, Trump also stated, “I get it (the intelligent briefing) when I need it,”. Let’s hope it not by way of that 3am phone call.

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  23. A foursome of senators, 2 Democrats and 2 snacilbupeR, are working together insisting on a thorough investigation of Russian involvement in our election. Schumer and McCain are 2 of them and I don’t remember the other 2.

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  24. Larry from Coloardo says:

    His arrogance is only exceeded by his ignorance.

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  25. Debbo:. Not sure about Fourth, but Lindsay Gayhams panties are absolutely twisted about this.

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  26. Flashback: A National Security Briefing was sitting on Bush’s desk unread as Counterintelligence Officer Clark was reporting an imminent attack by Al Qaeda, “W’s” response was “Okay, you’ve covered your ass!” Sound familiar?

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  27. I’ll just finish what I’m doing and within a minute I can be president if need be.

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  28. Mark Schlemmer says:

    I was so pleased to find my Post-1972 election bumper sticker
    that reads: Don’t Blame Me! I voted for McGovern. It honestly
    feels like, starting now, the new iteration of the Tea Party will be the Don’t Blame Me Party. Anyone who gets their hair done at this salon is hereby a member. Also, if anyone wants a full size print out of the original, suitable for framing or putting on the front door or back window of your car send me a dollar to cover printing and mailing and I’ll send one to you.
    schlemmerdesign@yahoo.com

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  29. Think about it. This guy is actually afraid of the job. It entails more responsibilities than most people will ever see in a lifetime and those responsibilities are mostly life and death matters. So he punts to Pence and ticks off the very people who can tell him if an attack is imminent. Real wheeler-dealer, that one! Art of the deal? Not! What is incomprehensible is, now that he has tricked himself into President-elect, why doesn’t he face reality and just plain damn bow out before the ceremony?

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  30. Kate Dungan says:

    He’s “like a smart person” Really! In what way?

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  31. @ Kate Dungan: They’re both featherless bipeds.

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  32. Linda Phipps says:

    He will give it to Ivanka to read and then tell him in short sentences, or better yet, in tweets.

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  33. Mark Schlemmer, I have one off those stickers and I treasure it. I am extremely fortunate to have known George and Eleanor, his wife, personally. (I’m from SouDakota.) They were both truly wonderful and honorable people.

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