Because Making Friends Ain’t On Ted Cruz’s To Do List

July 29, 2013 By: Juanita Jean Herownself Category: Uncategorized

Do you wanna know what Ted Cruz hates more and has less respect for than Obamacare?

Republicans.  No, seriously.

Sen. Ted Cruz believes Republicans can defund “Obamacare” if they stand together, but he said “scared” Republicans are standing in the way.

“What I can tell you is there are a lot of Republicans in Washington who are scared. They’re scared of being beaten up politically,” Cruz (R-Texas) told Glenn Beck on TheBlaze radio show Monday. […]

“I’ve been astonished by how many Republicans in Washington want a fig leaf … but they don’t actually want to succeed,” Cruz told Beck.

A fig leaf?  A freekin’ fig leaf.

Do you know what a fig leaf covers?

Geezzz, it would take a giant fig leaf to cover Cruz because he’s the biggest winkie in Washington.

Thanks to Brian C for the heads up.

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0 Comments to “Because Making Friends Ain’t On Ted Cruz’s To Do List”


  1. Jan Kimmons says:

    Did you know that many of the statues in the Vatican first had their genitals knocked off, then subsequently had fig leave carvings placed over them? True. I’ve seen them.
    Nothing to do with Cruz, but it’s an interesting aside!

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  2. Sally in MI says:

    Ted Cruz is an idiot. With an agenda. And unlike Sarah, he can actually call hearings and then snuff out facts like the ash on daddy’s cigarettes. Ted thinks he’s got Divine backing, because Daddy told him so. He thinks he’s the next Mittens. He thinks his hate and lies are attractive to a certain set of Texans. Let’s hope he blows one too many ‘scandals’ and gets voted out ASAP. He is certainly not doing a damn bit of good for anyone.

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  3. Cheryl Ann says:

    I’m pretty sure Cruz would take “biggest winkie in Washington” as a compliment. Bless his heart….

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  4. @ Jan … were you peeking under the fig leaves? LOL

    The very idea of Cruz’s winkie under a fig leaf just makes my stomach turn …

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  5. Ted Cruz reminds me of a line from Will Cuppy:

    “We are all descended from small worm-like creatures, but it shows more on some people.”

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  6. gramiam says:

    The very idea of Ted HAVING a winkie makes my stomach turn, Marcia!

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  7. daChipster says:

    As I was reading the Mother Jones article last week about the Groundswollen, which included a Cruz liaison, I was struck very forcefully by a single thought. (Anyone who knows me will tell you that a single thought is a pretty good day for me. Otto Pilot is in control most times.) Anyway, that thought was: they really BELIEVE this crapola.

    Being a recovering political operative, I always figured that a large dose of cynical posturing went into all the overhyped talking points from the Rightistas. When I named my first political foray the Elmhurst Petition Integrity Committee (EPIC) for example, I was less interested in petition integrity than I was in sticking it to the other guys with a cool-sounding acronym, although I really have always had high integrity when it came to petitions because, hey, those things are NOTARIZED.

    I figured that they on the right were Frank Luntzing their way through everything, with pre-packaged poll-tested phrases designed to obfuscate and pander to certain parts of the elcetorate, and that even some of the crazier stuff they were doing was out of a some playbook. But that they really understood that when it came to governing, okay, it’s time to get serious.

    Usedta be that way.

    And to a certain extent, this is true of the Romneys and Boehners. And it’s true of Limbaugh and Beck, though their end goal is cashola, not governance. But it’s not true of Hannity, who is just plain dumb, parroting things he thinks he heard from people he thinks are smart.

    But these guys really MEAN it. Including this guy Cruz. And you know how you know that? Because they think all this crazy shtuff is going to SAVE the COUNTRY. They think that if they can just EXPLAIN themselves better, that people will see the LOGIC behind them. And that they will win votes, because their quack nostrums not only taste good, they work! There was a quote from one of them to the others to the effect of “Because we have the data to prove it.”

    No, ya DON’T.

    This all goes back to the trickle down theory (which, the fact that it was called the “Laffer” curve should have tipped you off right there). As long as the rich get richer, everyone else will, too. But it doesn’t matter if it’s not 100% because, hey, worst case we end the free rides for those freeloaders and their welfare queen cadillacs.

    Only now it’s called “helping the job creators.” And the dog whistle racist code phrase is “47%ers.”

    Nothing else is necessary to be done, other than to prime the economic pump at the top, and soon we will ALL get rich, building yachts and jets for the ones who actually ARE getting rich. And the poor can wash and clean them for us.

    And you see it here again, with Cruz. He truly believes that Obamacares will destroy America, and he is in no mood to offer any alternatives or palliatives because, dammit, all it takes is the courage to stick to our figurative and literal guns, and the country will hail us as SAVIORS.

    Somebody, somewhere, soon, seriously, needs to throw a net over these guys.

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  8. JAKvirginia says:

    @daChipster: A++++

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  9. Oh, God! First, Steve King with cantalopes in somebody’s calves! Now Cruz with somebody’s fig leaf! And the Repug party in general concentrating on lady parts!

    Puh-leeze, people! Does this not tell you something?

    Get the damn porn squad in here right now!

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  10. Have you ever felt a fig leaf? Those suckers are scratchy!

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  11. @Gramiam … I know … the idea that Teddy Cruz has a wee willie winkie was a path I did NOT want to go down … it simply boggles the mind to even surmise that wee winkie wriggling behind a fig leaf!!

    Applause for DaChip’s succinct comment!! I think it’s gonna take more then a net to corrall those useless morons!!

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  12. We’ve done what Cruz and Beck wanted, friends. Instead of talking about Cruz’s comments on Republicans in Washington and what they’re afraid of, we’re talking about winkies. It’s a lot more fun, and less frustrating, to talk about the size of the man’s fig leaf (I’m guessing we can figure that out by the size of his bluster and apply the Rule of Winkie Compensation) but it’s more important to talk about who can give Winkie Dinkie Cruz the kind of backing that let’s him spout off like that without fear that his senior colleagues will stomp him flat.

    Cruz has cojones, which I guess a man with minimal political experience and delusions of grandeur has to have. I think those backers chose him well. The combination of money, media access, and loose cojones is dangerous. I’m buying a helmet.

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  13. He’s been “astonished” about how many Republicans want a fig leaf? Why? In the context of negotiation, an offer is characterized as a “fig leaf” if that offer is actually a ploy to conceal a sinister plan.

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  14. Sweet Crabby… you’re right. Cruz’s cojones are frightening, if you get the drift of having cojones… aka chutzpa in some circles. He’s worked the network like a master. He’s scarey smart, cunning, and ruthless…. and OMG.. . . . he has legions of people willing to carry water for him in Texas… and now across the US.

    I am thinking it is time to move back to Cabo.

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  15. Miss Prissybritches, tell me, who are are the supporters Ted Cruz has across the country? I want to know because it is those people who will be most easily manipulated by the ReTeaPublican media. They have already been conditioned to stick their fingers in their ears and sing NRA anthems real loud when they hear a Democrat talking, which makes it hard to have a conversation. But we HAVE to talk to them. We HAVE to work at getting information to the people who love Ted Cruz.

    It does take deliberate effort. I spent the first special session in Austin, rolling my walker up and down the halls, looking for opportunities to talk to the blue ladies. There were some difficult conversations, but there were some real connections, too. I don’t know if I changed any core beliefs, but I know I changed some people’s minds about the bill itself.

    We have to find the Cruz supporters and change their minds, too. I agree with you: Cruz is scary smart, cunning, and ruthless. But he’s still wrong. He’s got to go.

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  16. maryelle says:

    I thought the negotiating phrase was to “offer an olive branch” not fig leaf. Could it be that not only has Cruz got it wrong on so many political issues, but can’t get his vegetation right either?
    I am continually concerned by the number of Americans who fall for the hate, misinformation and fear promulgated by the teabaggers. I just have to hope that there are more people out there who who can see the truth.

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  17. Katie Johnsonius says:

    It doesn’t make a lot of sense to try hard to make sense of anything the Crude says, but I THINK he might be suggesting that the Republicans against whom he speaks have no pee-pees, (that okay, Mama?), and need fig-leaves to cover the wound.

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