The Trump campaign has published a list of acceptable words for everyone to use so that the Republican candidate and his merry minions don’t get confused. “They won’t stick to our talking bits,” complained one aide. “We don’t know what is meaned.” The new lexicon is mostly synonyms for “big,” and has fewer words than the average dog understands.
The list, comprising approximately 200 words and their derivative forms, including “bigly,” represents an effort on the campaign’s behalf to ensure that no one can look smarter than the tongue-tied Trump, simply by having an eighth grade vocabulary.
For instance, that last paragraph would translate into Trumpspeak as “The list has lots of words, good words, the BEST words and it’s a huge list, so that Mr Trump can talk gooder than anyone. It has lots of words, I can tell you them all, I could tell more than anyone.”
Ironically, the list does not contain the word “irony.” Kellyanne Conway, Trump “Big Talker Person” says that “the running for President man has superior genes which do not include the gene for that word you just said that we don’t know of but emails, Benghazi.”
Under the new Trump Rules of Tawkin and Speling, all sentences must end with the words “email, Benghazi.” Also, under the new rules, Trump’s verbal SAT score has been retroactively raised from 17 to 1000 on a scale of 800.
Trump rules for that number thingy (fka “Math”) will have be wroted soonly, email.