Archive for August, 2016

Y’all, Newt.

August 30, 2016 By: Juanita Jean Herownself Category: Uncategorized

Okay, so remember when Newt Gingrich, who claimed to be able to cure all the economic woes of America, ran for president in 2012?

newtheyAnd he overspent his campaign account by $4.6 million?  You know, because he’s a economic genius.

So then he tried to stiff the people he owed money to.  Newt offered a Debt Settlement Plan (DSP) to the Federal Elections Commission (FEC) to put this matter behind him.

Newt’s offer was :  I pay diddle squat and all the people I owe money can either (1) cry me a river, or (2) go straight to hell.

Well, I’ll be damned, the FEC said, “Nope, you dope.”


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Click here to read it in a nice, big PDF.  You’ll be glad you did because lookie who can cry a river now.

Thanks to Alfredo over at the Dairy Queen for the heads up.

Oh, Sweet Lady Karma Kicked Mike Huckabee’s Butt

August 30, 2016 By: Juanita Jean Herownself Category: Uncategorized

Remember that whole Kim Davis mess where Huckabee grabbed the stage and pranced around so damn excited because he thought he won another war to hurt people in Jesus’ name?

Remember how he had them play Eye of the Tiger like he’s Rocky?

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Well, now he’s deeply in debt Rocky.

He was sued by the guy who wrote that music.  Huckabee argued in court that it was a religious assembly so he didn’t have to have permission to use it.

Huuummmmmm…. That flew like a 50 pound turkey. Wanna know why?  Because Huckabee’s political campaign for president paid for the event.

So Huckabee got stuck with a $25,000 copyright infringement.  He paid $12,500 of it in May.

Since Huckabee’s campaign was perpetually broke, the 2016 washout petitioned the FEC to allow him to set up a special legal defense fund, but the FEC told him to bootstrap it up and pay the money himself.

Thank you, Madam Karma.  You done good, girl.

Thanks to everybody for the heads up.

Twinkle Toes

August 29, 2016 By: Juanita Jean Herownself Category: Uncategorized

Too late at night to think of anything to say except…. OH FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, RICK PERRY IS GOING TO DANCE WITH THE STARS!

My life cannot improve.


Anthony Weiner

August 29, 2016 By: Juanita Jean Herownself Category: Uncategorized

No.  I can’t.  I just can’t.


Rush and the Lesbian Farmers

August 29, 2016 By: Juanita Jean Herownself Category: Uncategorized

Snopes says it is absolutely true that Ruch Limbaugh is obsessed with lesbians.

2330715483_Rush_limbaugh_weight_loss_program_answer_2_xlargeHere’s what set him off.

Many LGBT people choose to live, work, and raise their families in rural areas. To highlight the unique needs of this community, the U.S. Department of Agriculture has partnered with Drake Law School, One Iowa, the National Center for Lesbian Rights, and True Colors Fund to organize the Iowa LGBT Rural Summit.

Well, that’s just straight out of the bowels of hell, ain’t it?  I know there some corn shaking on its stalk over the possibility that lesbians may … forgive me saying it, Lord … water them.

Limbaugh says that Damn-You-Obama is seeing lesbian to infiltrate the red states and … plow.

I never knew that lesbians wanted to get behind the horse and the plow and start burrowing. I never knew it. But apparently enough money can make it happen, and the objective here is to attack rural states. They’re already attacking suburbs, and that has been made perfectly clear by what happened in Milwaukee. They’re going after every geographic region that is known to be largely conservative. They never stop, folks. They are constantly on the march.

Hup. Two. Three. Four.  The marching lesbians are taking over Iowa.

Rush don’t get out much, y’all.  He thinks there’s still horses and plows.  Hey, dude, we don’t churn butter anymore either.  But if we did, lesbians could do it better than you.

Thanks to everybody for the heads up.

Because Voting Information Should Be a Damn Secret

August 29, 2016 By: Juanita Jean Herownself Category: Uncategorized

Texas Voter ID Laws have done a complete 180 thanks to the courts who say that they were a flaming damn mess.

ken_paxton_bioThere is going to be $2.5 million campaign to educate Texas Voters about the changes in the law.  That’s a good thing, right?  WRONG.

Our lying thief of an attorney general says it’s partly a secret where he is going to spend that money.  We can’t let the taxpayers know where the money is going, now can we?  Especially since every damn elected statewide Republican has gotten bad press for throwing money at their unqualified friends.

The judge has also granted a request from Paxton’s office to keep some details of the outreach plan under court seal, preventing public scrutiny of such things as which regions state officials could target with ads and which groups have been identified to receive education materials.

Which, in my mind, means they will all go to East Texas.

And would you like to know which law Paxton used to defend his “secret” voter information plan?

Paxton’s legal team cited a 1978 case involving President Richard Nixon, in which the U.S. Supreme Court held that media outlets could not have access to tapes from a Watergate obstruction trial.

Well, there ya go.  When you gotta rely on Richard Nixon …

Oh hell, Texas, you’re still a flaming damn mess.