Archive for May, 2016

Please Keep My Hometown in Your Good Thoughts

May 29, 2016 By: Juanita Jean Herownself Category: Uncategorized

I live in historic beautiful upscale downtown Richmond, Texas.  The town was built on the banks on the Brazos River  (pronounced “braz-us” by locals) and originally settle by three hundred people brought here by Stephen F. Austin.  I have lived here 40 years and am still considered a newcomer.

When we came here to raise our boys, there were no movie theaters or fast food joints.  Every store in town was owned by a local family. You could see stars at night. All that has changed but I still love this place.

Development surrounding us has been my biggest disappointment.  Bubba keeps telling me that people have to have a place to live and Houston is full.  I understand but I don’t have to like it.

I am certain that you’ve heard about the floods in central Texas.  The Brazos is the river that carries those floods to the Gulf of Mexico.  It comes through here.


Screen Shot 2016-05-29 at 11.38.27 AM

I need to be honest with you.  The Richmond Emergency Operations Center is probably four guys on the second floor of city hall with a pair of binoculars and a big ole pick up truck.  I am not complaining.  They will do a dandy job.

Here’s a picture from last night at one of our city parks.



And the river doesn’t even crest until Tuesday.  It’s gonna be a mess.

I am 100% sure our house will be fine.  Bubba’s office is much closer to the river but it’s directly behind the old courthouse and all the Historical Society Homes.  Those areas are protected by levees.

However, we have friends who are in the 100 flood plain so our weekend will be spent helping them pack up and move to higher ground.

We’ll be safe but those who will flood are mostly those who can least afford it and don’t have insurance.

Thank you, guys.


Texas Science

May 27, 2016 By: Juanita Jean Herownself Category: Uncategorized

As you’ve heard, Texas is leading the fight against the United States of America to insure that Texas gets to look and determine your gender before you can use a public restroom.

Their reasoning on this is bases on pure Mr. Wizard and Bill Nye the Science Guy schoolbook learning.

For example, while appearing on MSNBC, our Lt. Governor Dan Patrick hemmed and hawed through three direct questions from Chris Hayes about defining transgender.  Finally, three was the charm and Dan had to admit, “I can’t give you the definition for every transgender person.”

Yah, ya can.

He also tried to argue, “The President has no business in the school house.”  Really, Dan?  Then you must have a giant bone to pick with President Dwight D. Eisenhower.  Your Republican president sent the National Guard to stand down Arkansas Governor Orval Eugene Faubus on the school house steps in Little Rock, Arkansas.

And now, holy damn cow, we have indicted felon Texas Attorney General Ken Paxton saying that transgender people switch back and forth on a daily basis.

And he’s serious.

“This guideline doesn’t address any particular problem. They have not been very specific about what they’re trying to solve. This opens the door with all kinds of issues with men deciding one day they want to be women and then switching back the next day,” Paxton said during an interview on “Fox & Friends.

Paxton is literally spending 24 hours a day and God only knows how much taxpayer money on this one thing while Texas’ foster care system is a bloody mess and children are dying.

He’s going to hell, y’all.  I mean, after he goes to jail.

Thanks to Pam for the heads up.

Y’all, Louie Figured Out How Babies (and Insults) are Made

May 27, 2016 By: Juanita Jean Herownself Category: Uncategorized

Somebody wound Louie up last week and he took to the House floor to insult gay people, because that’s what Louie does for a living.  He wants you to know Matt Damon isn’t gay.

Earlier today, Rep. Louie Gohmert, R-Texas, put a new spin on his “gay island” story, arguing on the House floor that the push for LGBT rights is wrong because we would never choose to send gay couples or gay animals into space to start a new colony like in the Matt Damon movie “The Martian.”

Gohmert also cited the work of Jonathan Cahn, a far-right End Times preacher who believes God is punishing America (and France) due to gay marriage with events such as the 9/11 attacks, to assert that the end is near.

You know that thing Sarah Palin has where she can’t make a sentence so she just roams around a verbal smorgasbord sampling words here and there?  Louie has come down with a very bad case of that.

Here’s some Friday Fun for you!

There’s male, female, and question mark.

Note that we need to love the gays while calling them “perverse.”

And he warns us that even if we are not Louie Christians, we need to be scared of God.

I want to tell you a funny story.  Our friend Glen Maxey was the first openly LGBT person to be elected to the Texas state legislature.  Last year, they gave his butt a big roast to raise money for an LGBT candidate in Austin.  Everybody who was anybody was there.  No recording equipment was allowed because … well, of this:

There were three speakers.  Two of them were very well known and influential elected official women, (who shall remain nameless because I’d like to see them elected again). And because they couldn’t find a third influential person to do it, they asked me.  It got a little raunchy.  Okay, it got a whole lot raunchy.

There’s a thing that a gay party isn’t a party until there’s a boy in his underwear.  So, they have a real hunka hunka burnin’ love young honey in his tighty whiteys.  It was winter and it was cold in Austin. I’m a mother.  I got worried about the Hunka Hunka getting cold.   I quietly mention this to Glen, suggesting that maybe we get him a jacket or a blanket or something.  Glen looked at me as if I had suggested we burn books for fun.

So, I turned to one of the other women and told her that I know I’m a Momma because I am worried about that boy getting cold.  She also gave me the look and said, “Susan, dammit, that guy is so hot that he’s the only thing in here keeping me warm.”  Two drinks later, I was flirting with him.

Thanks to everybody for the Louie heads up.

Friday Toons

May 27, 2016 By: Juanita Jean Herownself Category: Uncategorized










Clay Bennett editorial cartoon






Clay Bennett, Chattanooga Times Free Press

Clay Bennett, Chattanooga Times Free Press



Breaking News To Break America

May 26, 2016 By: Juanita Jean Herownself Category: Uncategorized

Just hit my phone …

Screen Shot 2016-05-26 at 10.00.45 AM

Here ya go.



You Know Who Donald Trump Hates Worse Than Democrats? Republicans. That’s Who.

May 26, 2016 By: Juanita Jean Herownself Category: Uncategorized

Okay, so Donald Trump got drunk and lost in New Mexico.  I figure he thought it was Old Mexico and so he had to slam somebody, anybody, in government.

I know!  Let’s pick someone with a Hispanic name.  Trump hates those people.  And if it is a woman, that’s even better because a woman is trying to keep him out of the White House.

Okay, so that narrows it down.  A female with a Hispanic name in government … hum.

I guess nobody bothered to tell him that New Mexico Governor Susana Martinez is a Republican.

220px-Governor_NewMexicoDuring a 65-minute speech in Albuquerque last night, Donald Trump laced into New Mexico Republican Gov. Susana Martinez. He blamed her for the state’s economic problems, for the growing number of food stamp recipients and for not doing more to reject Syrian refugees. The billionaire even mused about moving to the state to run for governor himself.

Now I’m not saying that uniting the GOP might be kinda hard for Trump.  Honey, I’m saying that man is a bomb thrower.

The Washington Post is having a conniption about it.

I’m not.  Although I am not a fan of Gov. Martinez, if Trump wants to keep offending women in general and Hispanics in specific, I’m enjoying it.

Thanks to Paul for the heads up.