Archive for March, 2016

Stand Back! Take Cover!

March 30, 2016 By: Juanita Jean Herownself Category: Uncategorized

Honey, Honey, Honey, you better stand back because heads are gonna explode!


Screen Shot 2016-03-30 at 1.31.02 PM

The American Congress of Obstetricians and Gynecologists said in a statement that it was “pleased that the updated FDA-approved regimen for mifepristone reflects the current available scientific evidence and best practices.”


Thanks to Mazie for the heads up.

Shocked, Shocked I Tell You

March 30, 2016 By: Juanita Jean Herownself Category: Uncategorized

This is happening.

A bill that would make the Holy Bible the official book of Tennessee was given approval in a legislative committee on Tuesday.

I am shocked.  Are you telling me that Tennessee has more than one book?

Screen Shot 2016-03-30 at 1.26.06 PMAnd I have proof for my distrust of the literary skills of Tennessee:  they are trying to contend that this not a religious move, but a historical one. And they get that because George Washington was sworn-in on a Bible.

Well hell, boys, if we’re going with the whole historical thing, let’s name slavery the Official State Pastime.  Or maybe Allowing Women to Vote could be the Official State Oddity.

Get this:

The move to make the Bible the state’s official book comes a month after Tennessee lawmakers approved a measure to make the Barrett M82 sniper rifle the official state rifle.

And that was historical because …. I dunno, look it up in the Bible.

Thanks to everybody for the heads up.

And By Loyal, I Meant Everybody for Himself, Dammit!

March 30, 2016 By: Juanita Jean Herownself Category: Uncategorized

Well, well, well, that didn’t take long.

All three remaining Republican presidential candidates are backing off from their promised loyalty oath.

Republican frontrunner Donald Trump, Ohio Gov. John Kasich (R) and Sen. Ted Cruz (R-TX) backed away from honoring the loyalty oath to support the eventual Republican nominee on Tuesday night.

CNN’s Anderson Cooper asked Trump during a town hall if he plans to continue to support the GOP nominee if it isn’t himself.

Trump replied, “No, I don’t anymore.”

Cruz says (use your nasally whiny head-voice when reading this) “I’m not in the habit of supporting someone who attacks my wife and my family.”

Kasich said the candidates shouldn’t have signed the pledge.

“All of us shouldn’t even have answered that question,” he said told CNN.

Hey, Kasich, answering that question is just one in a long list of things y’all shouldn’t have done.


Breaking News Oops.

March 29, 2016 By: Juanita Jean Herownself Category: Uncategorized

Remember when Rick Perry endorsed Ted Cruz?

Yeah, he endorsed Ted but that didn’t include voting for him.

Former Texas Gov. Rick Perry may have stumped for Ted Cruz for president but there’s no record he voted in this year’s Republican primary in Texas. A spokesman for Perry suggested his ballot may have been lost in the mail.

Perry is registered to vote in Fayette county, south of Austin.  The county clerk insists that Perry requested a mail ballot and came in to pick it up in person.  Yeah, in freekin’ person.

Fayette County Elections Administrator Dina Bell confirmed by email on Tuesday that Perry requested a mail-in ballot for the March 1 Republican primary and one was given to him on Feb. 1. Bell recalled that Perry showed up in person to get it but her office never received the completed ballot.

You can’t do that.  That’s called voter fraud.  The ballot must be mailed to you.

Now, there’s some folks who think that Perry purposefully did not vote in the GOP primary so he would be able to run as an independent for president.  That story is blown because Perry claims he did vote but it got lost in the mail.  We’ll take him at his word and say he did vote.  It just didn’t count. You know, exactly like his presidential supporters.  They voted but it didn’t count. I’m sure Rick’s used to that by now.  It’s probably his theme song.

Yeah, I have notified the proper authorities.  I called Glen Maxey.

… more to come.


Okay, Louie, That Does it

March 29, 2016 By: Juanita Jean Herownself Category: Uncategorized

Y’all, Louie Gohmert has fallen so low on the food chain that we’re going to have to start watering him once a week.

Representative Louie Gohmert (R-TX) questions U.S. Attorney General Eric Holder in WashingtonThe House just passed a bill to authorize the National Science Foundation to use its entrepreneurial programs to recruit women.  Only four congressvarmints voted against it.  Louie, of course, was one of them, but he did have a reason.  Not a good reason, mind you, but a reason.

Here ya go:

“We want to take time from our $19 trillion in debt to demand that the National Science Foundation discriminate based on gender. There may be some young boy [who] needs encouragement from a tough family situation, but this program is designed to discriminate against that young poverty-stricken boy and to encourage the girl. Forget the boy, encourage the girl,” Gohmert said.

Now what the national debt has to do with recruiting women into science is anybody’s guess and that’s because Louie is a man filled to brim with loose ends.

I guess Louie has a special place in his heart for “young poverty-stricken boys,” because, you know, Louie created them.  Why, come to think of it, without Louie and his colleagues we probably wouldn’t even have half as many as we do now.

Thanks to everybody for the heads up.

And That’s Why We’re Texas, Dammit!

March 29, 2016 By: Juanita Jean Herownself Category: Uncategorized

The Republican National Convention will not allow people to exercise their Second Bygawd Amendment Rights.  They are using the flimsy excuse that “the secret service won’t allow it.”

So, here’s the solution.  The candidates need to agree to forego secret service protection inside the convention arena.  After all, the more guns there are, the safer they are, right?  I mean, isn’t that what Republicans are always saying?  Hell, if everybody comes armed, that should be the safest place on earth … well, except for a war zone which is terribly safe since everybody is armed and fighting there, too.

Texas Republicans say screw the sorry butt secret service.

On the same day the Secret Service announced that guns will not be allowed at the national GOP convention, the Republican Party of Texas announced the carrying of handguns at the state convention by licensed gun owners will be allowed.

If Dallas turns into a war zone … oops, sorry, I drifted off there.  Just wishful thinking, I guess.

Thanks to Mustang Sally for the heads up.