Archive for November, 2015

Fun With Guns: God’s Mysterious Ways Edition

November 30, 2015 By: Juanita Jean Herownself Category: Uncategorized

A gun store in Oklahoma named “Save Yourself Survival and Tactical Gear,” didn’t exactly meet up to standards this weekend.

The store has a No Muslims Allowed policy but apparently no policy against shooting yourself.

But one man at Save Yourself could not save himself from himself. His Colt .45 revolver fell out of his holster and discharged, hitting him in the wrist, the Tulsa World reported.

Muskogee County Sheriff Charles Pearson has not been real impressed with the volunteer security guards at the store who think that Muskogee, Oklahoma, is next on the Isis attack agenda.

Screen Shot 2015-11-30 at 5.46.27 PMPearson expressed concern about how some of the guards were handling their weapons. “I saw several of those gentlemen out there yesterday,” Pearson said. “The way they were holding their weapons, with the fingers on the triggers, you can tell a couple of these gentlemen have no idea about weapons safety. It’s like the Clampetts have come to town.”

No, I disagree.  Ellie Mae was a whole lot smarter than these guys.

And this, my friends, is how the terrorists win.


Under the Category of “Hey, Might As Well.”

November 30, 2015 By: Juanita Jean Herownself Category: Uncategorized

A new Republican has entered the Presidential race, filed paperwork at the FEC, and should fit right in.

Momma, do not click this link.  Do not, Momma, and I mean it this time.

Thanks to Alfredo over at the Dairy Queen for the heads up.

Worse than “Bad-Touches” Elmo?

November 30, 2015 By: Juanita Jean Herownself Category: Uncategorized

by Primo Encarnación

You know those unsolicited newsletters you get from people you no longer know going on about what a wonderful year they had, how marvelous their kids are, and Merry Christmas, your life sucks next to mine?

I used to think the only things worse than those were the ones that say how horrible their year was, how all their kids are sick, or in jail, and Happy New Year, maybe I won’t kill myself in 2016.

I was wrong: THIS is worser, still.

Only a flying egomaniac covering up a deep sense of inadequacy like Ben Carson is would commission a special lithograph especially for you, so that he can show how special it is to him that you think he is special. Unfortunately, it’s not true to life… you can actually see his eyeballs, which seem to follow you, even into your dreams.

Mental Ben: the comically creepy gift of the season.

Pottery Barn Terrorists

November 30, 2015 By: Juanita Jean Herownself Category: Uncategorized

by Primo Encarnación

SO, here’s what we know about Robert L. Dear, the Planned Parenthood terrorist, so far: old, white, southern, male, Christian (read his bible “cover-to-cover-to-cover” per his ex), conservative, gun owner, conspiracy theorist (cover your roof in metal to save you from government?) who handed out anti-Obama leaflets to strangers and claimed “no more body parts” during his arrest. And he was also cruel to animals, shot a dog, lived in a shack in the woods without electricity or water, hid food prepper-style, defenestrated his wife and peeped in on his neighbor lady, then headed to a trailer in MiddleOfNowhere, Colorado, with a woman he met online. And he thinks a shootin’ war against his enemies is the answer.

All clear prima facie evidence of mental incapacitation, except for the “old, white, southern, male” part, that’s just gravy.

Throughout the Right Wing Nutjob-o-sphere, they are seizing on any odd detail or rumor to make this man liberal, a drug addict (because he likes pot), or transgender (because he checked off the wrong sex on his voter registration) or just a vanilla maniac who descended from the woods and started shooting. This after they tried to claim he was a bank-robber who fled to PP afterwards, all while claiming that the “body parts” hoax is actually true, but had nothing to do with the crime. These are Olympic-caliber mental gymnastics in the service of confirmation bias.

Ain’t cognitive dissonance a bitch?

The vehemence bordering hysteria with which they thrust this man away from themselves belies the horrible verdict that fair-minded people will reach: the Right Wing created Rob Dear, put the gun in his hand and shoved him toward Planned Parenthood.

Stochastic terrorism is the mechanism by which so-called lone wolves like Dear became, in fact, the product of relentless programming specifically designed to radicalize malcontents to action. I recommend you all follow the link, and this one, as together they are a damning indictment not just of the Right, but of the weakly compliant and meekly complicit media who succumb to both-siderism out of fear and/or laziness.

The media must be made to acknowledge that, in fact, the radical Christo-fascists are creating a bunker-mentality army of “lone wolves” and anyone who stands idly by, or worse yet, actively encourages the hate-propaganda is complicit in these murders. The minute the Republican leadership started fawning over Rush Limbaugh in the 90s, rather than ostracizing him and his ilk, is the minute America started down this slippery slope of legitimizing hate and fomenting terror. Lately, their false victimhood has extended to claims that there’s a war on christians.  If that’s true, how come they’re the only ones doing the shooting?

The Right broke Robert Dear; the Right bought him.

No, Wait! Fix This! Fix The Hell Outta This.

November 29, 2015 By: Juanita Jean Herownself Category: Uncategorized

Texas Republican Senator Ted Cruz has a theory about the Denver Planned Parenthood killings.

While urging caution about drawing conclusions about the Colorado Planned Parenthood shooting that left three dead, Texas Sen. Ted Cruz Sunday pointed to claims on conservative blogs that the suspected shooter is a “transgendered leftist activist.”

No. Just No.  Just Hell No.

Personally, I think Cruz wants the guy’s endorsement.  He did, after all, brag about his endorsement by the head of Operation Rescue.

Newman is president of Operation Rescue, a group devoted to shuttering abortion clinics. He also serves as one of three board members of the Center for Medical Progress, the little-known California group behind a video project targeting Planned Parenthood over its fetal tissue donation program.

Newman has long been one of the nation’s most controversial antiabortion activists, in part because of remarks he has made apparently praising the killing of abortion doctors and calling women who have abortions “murderers.”

In the past couple of hours Cruz is backing off the transgendered leftist thing – he now claims he just meant that “we don’t know, it could be anything.”  Yeah, a Canadian gun owner running for President.  Thats who it could be. Or Lindsey Graham.  You never know.

Thanks to Bubba for going back to the wifi machine before I exploded.

Surprise Visit!

November 29, 2015 By: Juanita Jean Herownself Category: Uncategorized

Well, we came into town for dinner tonight and I checked the news.

Damn, while I was gone, Donald Trump insulted women, Jews, Muslims, Christians, Mexicans, Syrians, blacks, liberals, the military, latinos, journalists, the Chinese, Japanese, “hundreds of people” seeing crap that makes crap true, and just for good measure, the disabled. He demanded that the disabled apologize to him.  You know, for them being overly sensitive to bullies making fun of them.  They need to get over that.

I think he wanted to offend you personally but he forgot your middle name and/or your address.

I hear that Carly Fiorina has a whole bunch of money.  That’s sweet because she needs to be sued for inciting crazy people.

Last I heard, she says that the liberals caused the terrorist act at the Denver abortion clinic and then added that obviously Black Lives Matter had something to do with it because they need to be peaceful.

She also claimed that “The vast majority of Americans agree what Planned Parenthood is doing is wrong.”  That pretty much explains why numbers slip through her fingers.  19% of American believe that abortion should be illegal under any circumstance.

So, here’s the deal: I’m going back off grid for 48 more hours.  Please fix this crap.