Archive for September, 2015

If a Duck Had His Brains, It Would Fly West In The Winter

September 30, 2015 By: Juanita Jean Herownself Category: Uncategorized

Please allow me to introduce Wisconsin Republican Representative Glenn Grothman, a man who cannot understand why we even need Planned Parenthood.

“As a guy, I could go to many clinics locally that have all the machines that one would need,” Grothmann said. “All these clinics, as far as I know, take Medicaid dollars, so you could go to any of those clinics to get any medical service you could.”

He said poor women might not even notice if Congress cut funding and the health care organization went out of business.

I gotta show ya a picture of this guy.

Glenn_Grothman_official_congressional_photoThat is the whitest rich guy in Wisconsin.  That guy is so white that they calibrate laundry detergent against him.  He glows in the damn dark. There is snow darker than that.

He has a net worth estimated to be $1,580,000. A rich white guy can go anywhere and get medical care, you damn fool.

Grothman is 60 years old, has never been married and does not have any children. He don’t need no damn Planned Parenthood so you shouldn’t either.

Grothman once claimed that modern women were choosing to have children out of wedlock and “we should educate women that this is a mistake.” First of all, isn’t that exactly what Planned Parenthood does, educate woman? Second of all, if there is not a law preventing a single white male with no children from telling women when, where, and how they should have a baby, there should be, dammit.

Additionally, this dope thinks all poor women are on Medicaid. If they live in Texas, they sure aren’t. And, women without health insurance but who don’t qualify for Medicaid need health services.

Boy howdy, he really hates women.

I am certain that the feeling is mutual.

Thanks to Elizabeth for the heads up.

Because Who The Fool Tarnation is Keeping Count

September 30, 2015 By: Juanita Jean Herownself Category: Uncategorized

Just for fun, Republicans still hate, have, triple hate Obamacare.

220px-Paul_Ryan,_official_portrait,_112th_CongressThe House Ways and Means Committee on Tuesday advanced legislation that would repeal several major ObamaCare provisions through the fast-track process known as reconciliation.

“We’re going to pass a bill that can dismantle ObamaCare and reach the president’s desk,” said House Ways and Means Chairman Paul Ryan (R-Wis.). “We’re going to repeal the five worst parts of the law: two mandates, two taxes and one board of bureaucrats.”

Okay, I was trying to find a definitive answer to how many times have Republicans tried to repeal Obamacare.  The correct up to date number is hidden so well that a certified psychic couldn’t find it with a Magic 8 Ball and a Ouija Board.

Last February it was 56.  But, that was last February.  Since then we lost the chalk that we use to make the little marks on the tally board.

And y’all remember Paul Ryan, the vice presidential candidate who was only slightly smarter than Sarah Palin.  He’s gonna give it a shot.

Thanks to Ralph for the heads up.

Mr. Winkey Goes to The State Capitol

September 30, 2015 By: Juanita Jean Herownself Category: Uncategorized

Jud McMillian, the Speaker of the House in Indiana and, of course, a Republican, has been caught winkie texting.  To his friends. Obviously by accident.  Or maybe not.

He claims it happened when he lost control of his phone for 24 hours while in Canada.  Uh, yes, he lost control, but it’s not the first time.

imageMcMillin played a key role in a recent overhaul of the state’s criminal code and led an unsuccessful effort to drug test welfare recipients. He was also one of more than two dozen co-sponsors of the state’s controversial Religious Freedom Restoration Act.

I’m finding it hard to understand why Indiana Republicans did not see this coming.  There’s a recent sparkin’ story that happened while he was a prosecutor that will curl your hair.  Only click this link if you want to hear about some kinky stuff this guy does while preaching against marriage equality.

But he’s not just a stinker in the zipper department.

An Indianapolis Star investigation in 2013 also found that McMillin and other government officials in southeastern Indiana supported grants for companies to which they had close family or financial ties. In McMillin’s case, he advocated for a $600,000 grant for a project involving Destination Brookville, a company he started and later ceded to his mother and family friends.

His official statement says that he’s resigning to “focus on his family.”  He might want to make sure they haven’t changed the lock on the front door.

Thanks to Brian for the heads up.

Fun With Guns: “Went Off” Edition

September 29, 2015 By: Juanita Jean Herownself Category: Uncategorized

Wisconsin, really, Wisconsin.

A 21 year old woman came to the emergency room with a gunshot to her hip.  Her boyfriend brought her.

They said it was an accidental shooting and they didn’t want anyone to call the police.

Hazelton told police she found the gun at around 4 a.m. in an armrest compartment of the couch. She took the gun out of the holster and began playing with it.

While handling the gun, she said, it just “went off.”

Sounds like a good story, especially since her blood/alcohol level was double drunk at 0.115.  I’m just amazed that she could remember where she found the gun.


Indeed They Do Hate Hillary That Much

September 29, 2015 By: Juanita Jean Herownself Category: Uncategorized

ABC News has something that pretty much went under the radar.

The House committee investigating the Benghazi attacks is now the longest congressional investigation in history, committee Democrats announced today.

As of Monday, the House Select Committee on Benghazi, has been active for 72 weeks — surpassing the record previously held by the Watergate Committee in the 1970’s.

I dunno, I expect it’ll last until Hillary admits to personally killing people.

A Loner In a Cabin Out In The Woods

September 29, 2015 By: Juanita Jean Herownself Category: Uncategorized

Ted Cruz.  He is multi-talented.  He can talk and piss me off at the same time.

The good news is that the Senate slapped him upside the head.

TedCruz_nitwit_2After the Senate voted to end debate on a resolution to fund the government, Cruz tried to procedural move to bring up one that wouldn’t fund Planned Parenthood. His colleagues blocked him, even though senators are routinely granted votes on such measures even if they’re destined to fail. In other words, it’s a swift parliamentary smack in the face.

Anything in Cruz’s face would be an improvement.

They not only blocked him, only one senator even agreed with him.

So, like the two year old sitting in a high chair, he began to pound the tray with his spoon and bellow for a whole damn hour.

An hour.  An hour of caterwauling in a mostly empty senate chamber.  Let me tell you how bad it got.  Even though he was smashing his fellow Republicans, senate Democrats voted to make him stop.


Screen Shot 2015-09-29 at 10.55.07 AM

Martyring himself on the cross of idiocy, Cruz painted himself as victim.

“The Democrats are objecting to my speaking further. And both the Democrats and Republican leadership are objecting to the American people speaking further. I yield the floor,” Cruz said quietly.

Yeah, Ted, the only damn thing that Democrats and Republicans can agree on is that you’re a complete nincompoop.

You will never be President but you have a pretty good shot at being a televangelist.