Archive for August, 2015

Hell, You Don’t Need Sunlight. I’ve Known People Ugly Enough To Make It Happen.

August 30, 2015 By: Juanita Jean Herownself Category: Uncategorized

They swear this is true.  But, it happened in England so I dunno.  As far as I know, we don’t have any correspondents in London.

They say the sun never sets on the British Empire, and that’s not good news because it’s a mean sun.

Fight fighters responded to a blaze in London.


Our investigators believe that this fire was the latest sunlight blaze of 2015. It is thought that sunlight bounced off of a make-up mirror and set curtains alight.

No, seriously.  It says that.

A Brigade spokesperson said: “Crystal and glass ornaments and items such as mirror tables should be kept out of direct sunlight.

So, you’ll just have to figure out another way to identify vampires in your home.

Thanks to Don A for the heads up.

Fun With Guns: It’s The Happenin’ Thing Edition

August 30, 2015 By: Juanita Jean Herownself Category: Uncategorized

If you live in Easton, Massachusetts, you need to learn to duck.

A man trying out a new gun holster accidentally fired his weapon and injured himself Tuesday night, police said.

The victim said he was “breaking in a new holster,” when he shot his Sig Sauer P226 9 millimeter handgun, Sullivan said.

The man has an active license to carry a firearm issued by Easton police and will not be charged, Sullivan said.

The man is expected to live but the condition of the holster is unknown.  I suspect it’s sitting on the floor in the corner going “hehehehehehe, got cha!”

It is the second recent attack gun incident in this town of 23,000 overarmed souls.

In April, a passenger accidentally shot the driver of his vehicle while the two men were driving down Route 138 coming from Stoughton.

“The passenger wanted to make sure it was secure and he accidentally fired a round,” Sgt. Daniel O’Reilly, at the time of the incident.

He said the men are friends and both have permits to carry guns.

I suspect “Remember that time you shot me?” will cover the bar tab from now on.

Thanks to Irene for the heads up.

Saturday Reading

August 29, 2015 By: Juanita Jean Herownself Category: Uncategorized

Stop right now and read how Paul Krugman explains the reign of Donald Trump by the steeple people.  It’s short and it’s powerful.

Thanks to Craig for the heads up.

Rick Perry: Remember That Guy?

August 28, 2015 By: Juanita Jean Herownself Category: Uncategorized

Captain Oops and the Pill Pushin’ Playboys are folding up the band.

Former Gov. Rick Perry’s (Texas) Iowa chairman is stepping down, delivering another blow to the GOP contender’s 2016 presidential bid. Sam Clovis cited the campaign’s financial struggles, noting that he left in part because he is no longer being paid, the Associated Press first reported.

That’s what happens when you play Pay to Politic.  You are liable to find out that your campaign manager is paid to love you and your message.  You know, like a pavement princess.

Poor Ole Rick, broke and broken hearted.  He’s just a regular honkey tonk song now.


Sarah Palin is Speaking Yoda

August 28, 2015 By: Juanita Jean Herownself Category: Uncategorized

Y’all, I figured it out.

sarah-palin-blueSarah has been using her time off to learn to speak word salad and Yoda!

She had this to say about Hillary Clinton —

If we were to elect someone who’s been part of the problem creating the socialism, really there is no hope.

Yeah, but we all know who is creating the dumb.

First they shoved Dan Quayle on us, then Sarah Palin, and now … well, 16 of the dumbest guys in America.


Friday Toons

August 28, 2015 By: Juanita Jean Herownself Category: Uncategorized