Archive for July, 2015

Fun With Guns: Wildlife Edition

July 31, 2015 By: Juanita Jean Herownself Category: Uncategorized

Cass County, Texas is as far east you can get in Texas without inhaling crawfish boiling smoke.

At 3:00 am the sheriff’s department got a call about a shooting.

An East Texas man was hospitalized early Thursday morning after a bullet he fired at an armadillo ricocheted back at his head, KLTV reported.

No word on the condition of the armadillo.

Thanks to everybody for the heads up.



Friday Toons

July 31, 2015 By: Juanita Jean Herownself Category: Uncategorized






















Really? Who Would’ve Suspected That?

July 30, 2015 By: Juanita Jean Herownself Category: Uncategorized

Okay, so there’s 17 people running for President as Republicans.  Fox news is sponsoring at debate on August 3rd for all seventeen of them, but only the top ten (according to secret mathematics designed by Roger Ailes) will be in the two hour debate at 9:00.  There will also be an hour debate for the bottom seven at 5:00.

So, who will be in the top ten is kinda crazy.

Inside Fox, the debate is generating controversy among Ailes’s senior ranks. “There’s total confusion about all of it. The Second Floor is making it up as they go along,” one Fox personality told me, referring to Ailes’s executive suite.

The biggest questions are:

1.  Will it be Rick Perry or John Kasich who become #10?

2.  Will Lindsey Graham, Carly Fiorina, and George Pataki even break the 1% cutoff to be in the 5:00 kid’s table debate?

3.  Who has to stand next to Donald Trump on center stage?  There appears to be much arguing over that.  Face it, having Trump in the debate is like the Indy 500 with a drunk driver thrown in for fun.

Get your popcorn, kiddos.  This is gonna be fun!

Because, You Know, That Republican Economic Recovery Plan Isn’t Working All That Well

July 30, 2015 By: Juanita Jean Herownself Category: Uncategorized

The 28 year old adult daughter of Oklahoma Governor Mary Fallin moved her “nice trailer” to the backyard of the Governor’s mansion and is living in it with her husband.




One of the adult children of Fallin’s husband lives in the Governor’s mansion and another lives in a garage apartment behind the Governor’s mansion.

UnknownFallin told Oklahoma television station KFOR that her 28-year-old daughter received no special benefit by parking the travel trailer outside the mansion near the state Capitol since April. Any electricity or water she would have used in the trailer would have also been used if she had been living inside the brick-and-mortar home.

“My Oklahoma values … is to take care of your family,” Fallin, a Republican, told the TV station in a live interview.

She meant to add, “And if the taxpayers will do it for me, I will let them,” but she forgot.

Hey, I checked to see and it costs about $250 a month, $360 with electricity, to lease a trailer space in Oklahoma.  I mean, it ain’t a fancy pants one like a mansion for a neighbor  but that does seem kinda a little bit like “a special benefit.”

Maybe Oklahoma values should include a “robust economy.”

Hey, lotsa people have had their kids move back home.  They just didn’t expect the taxpayers to feed and cool them.

By the way, if we’re gonna talk about “value values,” does that include your bodyguard?

In early December 1998, an Oklahoma Highway Patrol bodyguard for Fallin resigned after admitting to unprofessional conduct. The Fallins had filed for divorce the previous week, amid allegations by her estranged husband that she had an affair with a bodyguard.

Public Safety Commissioner Bob Ricks issued a statement saying that rumors had surfaced in early September about alleged unprofessional conduct between a member of the executive security detail and the lieutenant governor. According to Ricks, the trooper first denied the allegations, but, when questioned again in October, admitted to the improprieties. He was allowed to resign, but his admission did not say if any sexual activity was involved.

Whoa boy, that there is some family values.

Thanks to everybody for the heads up.

In Texas?

July 30, 2015 By: Juanita Jean Herownself Category: Uncategorized

Childress, Texas, is out in west Texas between Wichita Falls and Amarillo and is only in Texas due to a geographic formality.

Customer Richard was spending the night in a Comfort Inn in Childress and was a little surprised to see this on top of the Gideon Bible.



Wait until the first Baptist Church finds out!  And they will because they are the ones renting hotel rooms by the hour.

Thanks to Richard for the heads up.

Y’all, He’s Drinking Again

July 30, 2015 By: Juanita Jean Herownself Category: Perry, Uncategorized

This is exactly the kind of thing that makes satire so damn hard to tell from the truth.

Asked about Trump’s critique of his candidacy, Perry challenged Trump to a pull-up contest.

The reporter prefaced by saying that Donald Trump questioned Rick Perry’s “energy, toughness, and brain power.”

Perry skipped the brain power question and went right for what’s important.

See, this crap just ruins satire for everybody.