Louie Gohmert, y’all. His middle name is Cringe.
He had himself a busy little day yesterday. First, he went all Bibi and started hitting things with his Bible.
The Texas congressman said that since Netanyahu’s upcoming address to Congress “is important for eternity,” Obama’s decision not to meet with the Israeli leader might bring about the judgment of God: “There is judgment that will come for nations that attempt to divide the nation of Israel and this White House seems determined to do that.”
Look, here’s how I see it. God already gave us eight years of George Bush and Dick Cheney so anything he does after that will look like he’s just jacking around.
I also know something that Netanyahu apparently doesn’t. The only reason Louie wants a strong Israel is so that God can destroy it and kill all the Jews while Louie watches. It’s kinda like Louie wants to build a Lego tower so that God can knock it down. Apparently that doesn’t bother Netanyahu right before an election.
And then, since he had a little air left over, he decides to go after women and, at the same time, fill the vacuum of leadership in the pro-rape lobby.
Gohmert then said that Republican women split the caucus by opposing the language on the rape exception. He said that opposition to the bill should have been voiced before the legislation made it to the House floor.
“I’m told that they’re still going to bring it back, but because there was such division among our Republican females, they pulled the bill that day,” he said. “And that was extremely unfortunate, and it sent the entirely wrong message.”
Our Republican females. What, Louie? Have you got binders full of them or something?
Look, I know that Louie is about twenty years, three sermons, and half a dozen NFL ball deflations beyond caring about hoochy-koochy, but I can guarantee you that he’s ain’t getting no nookie for the entire rest of his life. Seriously, women, write it on bathrooms walls: No nookie for the bald and ignorant guy from East Texas. Of course, I know that counts for 70% of the men in East Texas, but trust me, that’s really okay.
I was hoping for a trifecta before the sun went down last night, but apparently Louie needed a nap.
Thanks to everybody for threads up and John for the cool graphic.