Archive for December, 2014

When Holy Crap Meets Fun With Guns

December 31, 2014 By: Juanita Jean Herownself Category: Uncategorized

This is so cool.  Holy Crap meets Fun With Guns!

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Let’s head over to Florida.  Yesterday the church pastor at the Living Water Fellowship Church kinda booted the whole fellowship idea.  The church’s maintenance man was about to be fired so he fired first in the form of several bullets toward Pastor Terry Howell.

Howell did what any man of the cloth would do.  He pulled his handgun and fired back.  He was the better shot of the two and seriously injured the maintenance man.

Wanna hear the best part?

There were approximately 20 children inside a day care center at the church.  None were hurt in the making of a damn good story about fellowship and trust in the Lord.

Thanks to everybody for the heads up.


Merry Christmas, Ted Cruz

December 31, 2014 By: Juanita Jean Herownself Category: Uncategorized

Just so you know, the Federal Elections Commission is one mean bunch of sumbitches.

They will harass your butt on Christmas Day, bygawd, if you don’t be honest with them and tell us who is giving you money.

I have proof.  Click the little one to get the big one.

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Check the date this was prepared to be sent to Ted Cruz’s leadership PAC.

Holy cow, you’d think I was working for them.

Thanks to Alfredo over at the Dairy Queen for the heads up.

No Fun With Guns

December 31, 2014 By: Juanita Jean Herownself Category: Uncategorized

Y’all, there is an unspoken rule with Fun With Guns:  the only person allowed to die is the person shooting the gun.  Otherwise, it’s not fun or funny.

This is tragic.

Yesterday, this 2-year-old boy unintentionally shot his mother in the head inside an Idaho Walmart after pulling the trigger of a loaded handgun in her purse. The mother, a nuclear scientist, died instantly. She was only 29-years-old.


This little boy will grow up knowing he killed his mother.  His siblings will also try to make sense of this.  They will wonder who to blame – their mother for not locking the gun or their brother for shooting it.

I hate to end this year on a downer but since so many of you sent me this story I figured I better say something.  And I will.  Damn you NRA.  Damn you for not letting us know there is an epidemic of accidental gun deaths in America that puts ebola to shame.

I hope our new surgeon general (thank you Ted Cruz for unwittingly making this possible) makes children and guns a major priority.  Right now the NRA is working to keep us from recording accidental gun deaths.  Let’s fix that.

No. No, He’s Not.

December 30, 2014 By: Juanita Jean Herownself Category: Uncategorized

Republican congressvarmint Steve King has it all figured out.  He saw what Steve Scalise did but King has an explanation.

The congressman suggested Scalise was following the example of Jesus by appearing at the racist event.

“Jesus dined with tax collectors and sinners,” King explained. “It’s not the healthy who need a doctor, it’s the sick. Given that piece of Scripture, and understanding that Scalise probably wasn’t staffed thoroughly, I could understand how something like this happened. But I know his heart, I’ve painted houses with him post-Katrina, and I know he is a good man.”

Yep.  Just like Jesus.

Y’all, he’s serious.  He thinks a white guy who voted against making MLK’s birthday a state holiday was trying to lead the sinners to racial harmony.  You know, just exactly like Jesus.

Obama is Attacking Me! Oh My Goodness, Y’all, Obama is Attacking Me! Gimme Three Dollars, Quick!

December 30, 2014 By: Juanita Jean Herownself Category: Uncategorized

As if President Obama doesn’t already have enough to do what with North Korea, Isis, gas prices, and ruining weddings, he’s taken time out of his busy schedule to attack some poor big-haired blonde gal in Texas who is running in a special election for state house.

How do I know this?  Well, because she says so.

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So what is President Obama, Saul Alinsky, (probably Nancy Pelosi, too) and his handmaiden Steve Mostyn doing to this poor woman?

They have found public records, damn ‘um.  And they are actually using those public records.  Oh, the horror.  The Saul Alinsky horror of it all!

It seems that Ms. Berger has a rather checkered past.

1. She was ordered to pay a $12,000 fine to the state insurance board in lieu of suspending her license in 2003 for selling unauthorized products. I do not know if this involved Amway or adult toys but I do know the state insurance board was hacked off.  She paid $100. A whole $100 of her $12,000 fine.  In 2009, she surrendered her license and the department took no further action, being exceptionally glad to be rid of her.  In all honesty, they probably would have paid her $100 to leave.  And you’re fixin’ to see why.

Becky_Berger2. In 2003, she was ordered to pay $17,500 to her ex-husband’s employer for repeatedly filing frivolous pleadings.  It was delightfully upheld on appeal.  Blonde, frivolous?  Nooooooo…..

3. Her messy and sordid first divorce ended with the court ordering her in 2004 to pay $162,000 in sanctions for frivolous motions, abuse of the discovery process, repeatedly engaging in conduct intended to disrupt the proceedings, and abusing the rules of fair behavior.  Y’all, it’s a habit!  Yes!  She’ll fit right in with the Republicans  at the state capitol!

4. In 2012, suit was brought against her by Nine Plus Properties, Inc alleging that Berger in 2007 “looted, embezzled, and paid herself” funds belonging to Nine Plus and used Nine Plus funds to pay her personal creditors. She had received $20,000 for guaranteeing a loan for NP and a further fee of $65,000. (Since she told the Tx Dept of Insurance that she couldn’t pay the $12,000 fine, how did she guarantee the loan?) November, 2014 Becky agreed to pay $100,000 to settle these claims of financial wrongdoing. Mark McCaig (mentioned in her Oh Holy Crap I Can Whine! letter above) wrote about this on November 5.

5. Becky testified against science books at the state board of education, which led one observer to state she was clearly just doing it to help her bid for railroad commissioner.

6. She is becoming a perpetual candidate. She ran for Railroad Commissioner in 2012 (came in third with 12% of the vote) and 2014 (upped that to a whopping 16% this time) and now is running in the special election for state rep.

Special elections are a tricky thing.  Mainly because nobody votes.  If she gets her 16% to the polls, she could darn well win a special election.

Now I’m not saying that she’d be any different than any other damn Republican in the Texas House, but this woman seems to have diesel powered double barreled whining with a cactus on top.  My ears would start bleeding before the session is over.

And the three dollars?  Here’s the bottom of her whine-a-thon.

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Hell, me and the insurance board will give her $100 just to pull out of the race!

So, if you know anyone in that district, please tell them to vote.

2015: Republicans March … Uh, Backwards

December 30, 2014 By: Juanita Jean Herownself Category: Uncategorized

There are a couple of signs that Republicans are not looking forward to 2016 or even to 2015.

First, we will scamper over to the nuthouse blog “American Thinker,” where of course all the thinking is done by someone else.  These good folks put all their thinking skills together and have awarded “American achiever of 2014” to … (the envelope, please) … Sarah Palin.

What?  We wasted an envelope on that?

Personally, I thought she was a shoe-in for the American Kickboxing title.

And next we have the Republican National Committee.

The Republican National Committee is making a year-end push to peddle red and blue “Reagan/Bush ’84” shirts for $27. The shirts are a “throwback to the days of strong, principled leadership in the White House,” the committee says.


Hummm … 1984.  Is George Orwell on line 1?

Yeah, yeah, that’s the Bush we want you to remember.  The Vice President one who didn’t do anything.  Forget those other Bushes.

Thanks to Carl and Fred for the heads up.