Holy cow, I know this is going to come as a shock to you because Louie Gohmert is such a fine upstanding Christian human being.  But, doggone it, he’s for damn sale.

Lookie here:

Earlier I told you about Louie accepting illegal campaign contributions and one of the donor is the Texas Spine and Joint Hospital.  Here ya go —

Alfredo over at the Dairy Queen was nosing around his internet machine this afternoon and found this little tidbit.

Texas Spine and Joint Hospital of Tyler filed a joint lawsuit with Physician Hospitals of America, Thursday.

The lawsuit questions the constitutionality of a specific part of the health care bill. PHA said Section 6001 of the Patient Protection and Affordable Health Care Act prohibits physician-owned Medicare hospitals from expanding after March 23, 2010.

PHA said new physician-owned Medicare hospitals that are not certified as Medicare providers prior to December 31, 2010 are now banned.

Now, there was a good reason for excluding them.

Texas Spine and Joint Hospital was in the midst of a 22-million dollar expansion when the Affordable Care Act, commonly called Obamacare, was passed.

It restricted hospitals owned by doctors, who take medicare and Medicaid money, from expanding beyond a certain point.

The feeling is, such facilities have a vested interest in ratcheting up the bill for treatment.

As you know, “Ratcheting up the bill” is actually a plank in the Republican Party platform.  Republicans are real good at ratcheting.

Now even though Louie hates Obamacare, he’s willing to go to bat for his donors to get their share of Obamacare.  Yeah, there’s money on the table and even though that money is going to cause the downfall of America and the end of civilization as we know it, Louie wants his friends to get their hands on that money on the table!

So, Louie signs on as a cosponsor of the some legislation that would encourage ratcheting up.

We have no idea how many letters and pestering Louie did to help these poor pitiful ratcheting doctors.

You know, a couple of illegal campaign contributions is a bargain to get your hands on Obamacare funds.

So, if you go to the Texas Bone and Joint Clinic, just be aware that part of your bill will include the care and feeding of Louie Gohmert.

Thank you, Alfredo, for the heads up.

Okay, so you’re a fire and brimstone preacher in Amarillo, Texas.  I will admit that’s a hard sell because Amarillo, Texas, is where the devil spends his summers.  That’s a true fact.  Look it up.

The preacher

So, when you’re trying to scare people in Amarillo, Texas, odds are pretty good that you’re going to get bored.  So, you find things to do.

A pastor at an Amarillo church could face up to six months in prison after getting caught with a prostitute in a Motel 6.

Now don’t judge Cameron Tate Reeves, the 34-year-old pastor at Hillside Christian Church, because he went to Hotel 6.  The Hotel 6 is the garden spot of Amarillo, Texas.  They even have a Presidential suite.

See?  There’s the only 3 trees in Amarillo, Texas.  The Hotel 6 and the Waffle House are historic landmarks in Amarillo, Texas.

Now, if you’re asking what the preacher was doing at the Hotel 6 with a prostitute, I have an answer for you.  He was getting saved again again.

Jesus was saving him.  Here’s what he told his church followers:

Reeves said it was Christ’s love that allowed him to be arrested, the Globe-News reported.

I’m sorry for wounding the heart of Christ … I want to be a faithful son,” the letter read, according to the Globe-News.

Reeves also admitted to having a pornography addiction for the last 25 years in the letter.

Jesus is so nice.  I mean, you go out with a hooker and Jesus calls the police.  You just gotta love Jesus for that.

BTW, Hillside Christian Church is a mega-church with “branches” in Texas and California.  I think you can get a franchise.

Thanks to everybody for the heads up.

My friend Sybil sent me this picture to cut out and put on the front door on Halloween.

Darrell Issa and Blake Farenthold.  Slick and Slack.  That’ll scare anybody.

Thanks to Sybil for the research!

Houston, Texas.  Man goes to sleep on the couch and a gun falls out of his pants.  The rest of the story goes down in firearm history.

Patrick Sanders, 20, was sleeping on the couch when the gun slipped out of his pants on to the floor in the incident that took place on Saturday in a Houston apartment.

The child then handled the gun and Sanders tried to grab it from the toddler, police said.

“At that time, the gun went off and Sanders was shot in the face. The child was not injured,” Houston Police said in a statement.

Meanwhile, nobody in the United States caught Ebola.

Thanks to Sharon for the heads up.

By John Kwitoski —

Okay, we have the Louie Trifecta today.  Louie has done broke the Dumb-O’-Meter.

First off, I know you’ve seen it in the comments, but here’s a reminder to watch Stephen Colbert singe Louie’s short hairs over gays in the military.

Second off, Louie says that we cannot trust Wendy Davis because … wait for it … she’s been divorced.  Divorced.  You know, unlike like Ronald Reagan, Newt Gingrich, John McCain, Rush Limbaugh …

… Karl Rove, Dan Patrick, Bob Dole, Dick Armey, (have I made my point?)

Of course, they are men.  Men can get divorced.

Third off (I told you he was going for the Wacky Gold, by gawd!), Louie is trying to scam the Federal Elections Commission by taking illegal campaign contributions.

They warn him …