I watched the Lt. Gov debate last night with a headquarters full of people.  Admittedly, they were my kind of people and not wacky radicals.  They were eating tamales and drinking cheap wine and that’s how you know that they are my kind of people.

First off, Dan Patrick called Wendy Davis an “anarchist.”  Actually, he called me an anarchist, along with any other person who stands with Wendy Davis.  That’s kinda weird considering that he thinks the problem with Democrats is that they want too much government.  Bubba thinks that Dan misspoke and meant to say antichrist.  That well could be.

Second off, why would he never call Leticia Van De Putte by name?  How come he only referred to Leticia as “she” or “her?”  It was getting on everyone’s nerves and oh so disrespectful.  I think I may have an answer.  He can’t pronounce her name.  If he says “La-Tesha,” that’s incorrect and Hispanics will laugh at him.  If he says “La-Tee-See-Uh,” which is correct, his base will claim he’s speaking that Mexican crapola.  So, he can either call her she or call it quits.

Third off, I remain stunned and mad as all get-out this morning at Patrick’s offer of proof that Republicans do not have a war on women.  His only example of proof was “one way you respect women is to protect little girls in the womb.”  So, Republicans respect women only if they are fetuses.  How weird is that?  Of course, women in the womb don’t ask for equal pay or health care, so there’s that.

So tonight is the second and last Wendy Davis / Greg Abbott debate.  It’s at 8:00.  You can live stream at The Texas Tribune.

Graphic by John Kwitkoski.

You can watch a live stream of the Leticia Van De Putte / Dan Patrick debate right here.  It’s the only time they will be debating because Dan Patrick is a chicken.

Okay, maybe not chicken.  Uh, he does molt twice a year.  Chicken.  Chicken for sure.

Where would Texas be without Rick Perry ‘splainin’ stuff to us?

Well, for starters, we probably wouldn’t be deadbutt last in education.

Rick strikes again.

Talking about the crazy guy who got fired from a job and then went back and went off the rails….

During Monday’s interview on Fox News’ “Fox and Friends,” Perry said, “I think Americans are confused about what this is.”

“This is a clear case of an individual going in and doing something that does not meet their definition of ‘workplace violence’ so I think any rational thinking American is going to look at this and go, ‘This is more than just normal workplace violence,'” Perry said.

Perry urged the Obama administration to address the incident as an act of terrorism.

So, being as how we are incapable of seeing something and understanding it completely, Rick Perry is gonna Texsplain’ it to us.

Or maybe Teasplain’.  Or Whacksplain’.

Hey, Rick, did he have a Mexican accent and illegally cross the border?

Crap, y’all.  They are so anxious to say that President Obama is letting terrorists into this country, that they will exploit a horrible tragedy to fit their hate meter.

Click the little one to see the big one.  Or not.  It’s scary.

Do you suppose that she knows that the Bumpit goes under your hair?  Check out her middle name.

You should learn to Twitter.  You should.

I know, I know, I’m one to talk.  I have a Twitter account and I do tweet about once a month.  Me trying to say anything in 140 characters is about as easy as getting a Longhorn steer to sing the Aggie battle hymn.  Hell, I can’t even say good morning in 140 characters.  However, I love reading Twitter.

The Republicans started a thing that was supposed to make them look nicer and just like everybody else instead of Dick Cheney and the Koch Brothers.  On Twitter they called it #IAmARepublican.

Like most things they do, it backfired.

Democrats took to the #IAmARepublican hashtag and had a ball with it.  They told the real reasons why someone would be a Republicans.

There’s more.

Thanks to AlanInAustin for the heads up.

Okay, we are headed back to Pennsylvania.

A woman heard a loud noise and discovered that her front door was shattered.  She looks up and sees a neighbor “fire a gun in the direction of her home and run back into his house.”

She, of course, called the cops.

Next comes the absolute best explanation for firing a gun.

First he claimed to know nothing about nothing.  And denied knowing anything about anything.  Repeatedly.

Once the police found the guns in his home, he fessed-up.

Byrd later told a judge that he fired the gun into the ground because he was unfamiliar with guns and didn’t know how else to unload one, according to the Courier Times.

A man’s gotta do what a man’s gotta do.

Thanks to Larry for the heads up.