Archive for March, 2014

Nice Try, GOP

March 30, 2014 By: Juanita Jean Herownself Category: Uncategorized

The list of possible Republican Presidential candidates is getting as empty as last years bird’s nest.

I think we can safely figure that Chris Christie burned that bridge behind him.

I think Rand Paul might be a long shot, what with somebody’s booty hair taped to his head and the simple fact that he makes a hornet look cuddly.

But, they found a savior.  Jeb Bush.

Oh, quit laughing.  They might be on to something.  Heck, he was the brother who predicted that Dubya would win Florida on election night and kept his word by … I dunno, I don’t want to call it cheating but … oh hell, it was cheating.

Sheldon AdelsonThe latest news is that Bush met with Sheldon Adelson, that scary guy from Vegas who threw millions at Romney.  Apparently, Adelson can really pick ‘um.

And Bush is meeting with the evangelicals to see if he can’t get born again again.  Hell Honey, they can take him down to the river and baptize him but afterwards we’d all have to skim nasty ole Bush for a week.  Truth be know, you couldn’t scrub the Bush off him with a Brillo pad and bristle brush.

Oh yeah, and Henry Kissinger supports him.

Bwaaaa… shiver.

Thank You, Tea Party, For Freekin’ Nothing

March 30, 2014 By: Juanita Jean Herownself Category: Uncategorized

Katy, Texas, is down the road from me.  I do believe it has the largest concentration of McMansions and trailer parks anywhere in America.  It’s Franchised Feudalism coming to a city near you.

Katy is a rightwing haven and I refuse to even drive through it because I know there’s gonna be some sign or bumper sticker than just hacks me off.

robert-james-talbot-e1396055256902Then there’s this guy, Robert James Talbot.  He’s 38 years old and thinks he’s a “patriot.”  He lives in Katy.

Robert James Talbot Jr., 38, has been arrested and charged by attempted interference with commerce by robbery, solicitation to commit a crime of violence and possession of an explosive material, specifically Composition 4 (C4).

Talbot was arrested in route to blow up an armored car with some other patriots who were meeting in a storage facility to do their planning.  Their goal was to “stop Marxism, liberalism, Central banking Cartels and the New World Order.”  That pretty much covers everything.  Well, except fascism and the Tea Party.  They’re the good guys.

In preparation, Talbot stalked banks in the area watching and recording who came and went, which would probably include you at some point, or worse yet, me.  He also stalked armored cars to see if they were making pick up or drop offs.  On the morning of the attempted bombing, while cahooting in the storage facility …

[He] provided a “manifesto” which was read to the group. “We must rebel. There is no other option no. Blood and bullets are the only two things that will change this world, short of divine action.”

See, I can can think of a few other things.  All ya need is love.  The hokey pokey because that’s what it’s all about.  Hawaiian shirts because nobody wearing a Hawaiian shirt ever has a bad time.    I mean, there are a few alternatives but mostly they’re pretty Marxist, I guess.

I’m still not driving through Katy because I’m convinced their growing these guys in a lab there.

 

This Is Just Kinda Interesting

March 30, 2014 By: Juanita Jean Herownself Category: Uncategorized

Bubba, Jr. is an artiste.  In his latest show out in El Lay, this was one of the featured pictures.

Screen Shot 2014-03-30 at 9.34.56 AM

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What you’re looking at is the official portrait of every member of congress layered over one another centered on John Boehner’s mouth.   The title is “none of us is as evil as all of us.”

I thought it was interesting that the picture turned out to be very male, very white, and pretty damn creepy.  In fact, every time I look at it, I see Tom DeLay.

This is a symbolic picture of congress.  I wanna work to make it more feminine and far less like Tom DeLay.  Yes, I do.

Breaking News

March 28, 2014 By: Juanita Jean Herownself Category: Uncategorized

Just got this from CNN –

Russian President Vladimir Putin called President Barack Obama on Friday to discuss the situation in Ukraine, the White House announced. Obama talked about having the two countries’ top diplomats continue to engage in talks and urged Putin to “avoid further provocations, including the buildup of forces on its border with Ukraine.”

I think that translates to English as, “Don’t drone me, Bro.”

Remember that Coyote that Rick Perry Shot While Out Jogging?

March 28, 2014 By: Juanita Jean Herownself Category: Uncategorized

Well, it appears that most Texans think he dispatched Obamacare the same way.

No, seriously.

In Texas, political opposition to President Obama’s health law is so strong that some residents believe, erroneously, that the program is banned in their state.

They think that Rick Perry turning own $10 billion in Medicaid funding also killed Obamacare because we’re Texans, dammit all to hell, and we don’t need no health care.

Thanks to Irene for the heads up.

It’s That Doofus Glenn Hegar Again, Y’all

March 28, 2014 By: Juanita Jean Herownself Category: Uncategorized

I have introduced you guys to Glenn Hegar before.  He is currently my state senator and now he wants to be Texas Comptroller.

Needless to say, he thinks there’s some magical way to run government without taxes.  He thinks Texas taxes are too damn high.  Now, I wonder which political party has been in charge of Texas for the past 20 years who made those taxes so damn high?  Glenn?  Speak up, son.  I can’t hear you.

Anyway, Texas does not have an income tax.  We have a property tax.  It ain’t perfect but it sure beats Glenn’s idea.

Yeah, he wants a sales tax.  No matter how you do the math, we’d have to have a 20% tax on everything for this to work out.

Now that don’t bother Grandpa Tea Party.  Hell, he and Grandma still have the same gold brocade couch they bought in 1968 with the plastic cover that makes farting sounds when you sit down.  He wears the same suit he bought in 1973 and his tools are from Sears and Roebuck’s so they are guaranteed for his lifetime.  He’s gonna drive his truck to the funeral home and be buried in the family plot that was paid for by his mother right after WWII.

A Glamour Shot of Glenn Hegar

A Glamour Shot of Glenn Hegar

No, the only people hurt by a sales tax are the people who can least afford it – young families raising children.

Also, a sales tax does diddle squat to fire up the economy, and, remember, it’s only a two hour drive to Louisiana, Oklahoma, or New Mexico to buy big ticket items.

So, when you call this a dumb idea, it’s only because you can’t spell draconian.

So, we’re talking about mean old people who only tip the waiter a dollar getting all gleeful over a 20% sales tax on everything.  Somebody needs to tell Grandpa that we’re slapping a 20% tax on Metamucil and see how long it takes him to start whining.

We’re talking about making a doofus the comptroller of the State of Texas.  The boy can’t add or subtract, but by gawd he can shoot a gun and demean women.  What else do you need?