Archive for November, 2013

Yeah, Yeah, The Gays Are Messin’ With Republicans Again

November 27, 2013 By: Juanita Jean Herownself Category: Uncategorized

Houston Mayor Annise Parker was re-elected to her third term last month with a landslide.  She got like 80% of the vote because she’s a damn good mayor.  There were, like maybe, six candidates and there wasn’t even a second place.   Honey, she was so hot that she glowed in the dark for three days after the election.

annise-parkerLast week she announced that the City of Houston would start giving employee spousal benefits to same-gender couples who were married outside of Texas.

Holy crap, with the way Republicans reacted you’d think the only reason she did it was to distract from the computer problems of Obamacare.  Jared Woodfill, the chairman of the Harris County Republican Party, pounded his spoon on his high chair tray and screeched that the Mayor has “abused her office.”  Woodfill then proceeds to abuse her.

You gotta read this.

Mayor Parker and City Attorney David Feldman wrongly have interpreted the Supreme Court case this summer to apply to the city. Never mind that the voters of Texas worded the Texas Constitution to ban such unions. Never mind that the voters of Houston worded the Houston City Charter to ban such benefits. Mayor Parker unilaterally disposed of the Houston City Charter and the Texas Constitution without anything even resembling democratic process. For case law to be applied at the local level, test cases are often necessary, but these should come from citizens petitioning for a lack of constitutional protection or for perceived inequality, not the Mayor of the third largest city in the US blatantly and brazenly violating the laws passed by the people’s duly elected representatives in Texas and at the federal level.

That brazen hussy!

Never mind the 14th amendment.  Never mind her overwhelming victory showing that she has more support than a Cross Your Heart Bra.  Never mind that Woodfill couldn’t even find a Republican with the courage to take her on.  Never mind that what she did was perfectly legal and extremely proper.

6456_113808017082_750222082_2440527_3462738_n-1It’s kinda cute that Woodfill’s rant comes a day before even Rick Perry gives in to the Department of Defense and allows the Texas National Guard to give same-gender spousal benefits.   I guess all those stockpiled weapons and threats of secession kinda faded in the face of drone strike reality.

Woodfill loves to rant about Mayor Parker.  She really gets under his skin.  I can’t decide if it’s because she’s a woman, or that she’s a lesbian, or that she’s smart, or that she’s successful.  Personally, I think it’s because she is a smart successful woman who just happens to be lesbian.

I kinda figure that next time he’ll give in to that knot in his stomach and just yell, “Look, y’all, she’s got cooties AND titties!”

It’ll do his heart good to get it out of his system.  Plus, it’ll just amuse the hell outta me.


A Tad Early So You Can Share It

November 26, 2013 By: Juanita Jean Herownself Category: Uncategorized

John and I wish you a Happy Thanksgiving!



There’s Good News and There’s Bad News

November 26, 2013 By: Juanita Jean Herownself Category: Uncategorized

Time Magazine’s Person of the Year.

The Good News:  Wendy Davis ranked higher than both Ted Cruz and Angelina Jolie.  (Click the little one to see the big one.)

Screen Shot 2013-11-26 at 11.53.29 AM


The Bad News:  Rand Paul is beating her.  Go vote.

Thanks to Kyle for the heads up.

Ted’s Excellent Accounting Adventure

November 26, 2013 By: Juanita Jean Herownself Category: Uncategorized

I am just certain there’s something that Ted Cruz is good at besides being the zombie whisperer.  However, we can add another entry to the things he cannot do:  accounting.

TedCruz_Airhead_3The FEC sent Ted a letter (PDF format) saying that it’s real nice he refunded Elizabeth Wiskmann’s contribution after a complaint was filed that she over-donated to Republican causes and ran afoul of FEC regulations.

There’s only one problem.  He never reported that she donated to him in the first place.  In order to refund a donation, you would necessarily have to show that one was received, ya know.  Or, as Rick Perry would say, “Oops.”

So, we are left to wonder who else gave Ted money duly reported on the other set of books but not on the reports to the FEC?

Hummm ….

Thanks to Alfredo over at the Dairy Queen for the heads up and John for the cool picture.

Fun With Guns: Megachurch Edition

November 26, 2013 By: Juanita Jean Herownself Category: Uncategorized

Pinelake Church in Rankin County, Mississippi, is a mega church with half a dozen campuses and 9,000 people attending every Sunday.

Screen Shot 2013-11-26 at 8.31.08 AMLast Sunday was special.  Joseph Edgar Ray’s 9mm handgun discharged while he was sitting down to worship Sweet Jesus.  A woman was hit in the leg by shrapnel when the bullet hit the concrete floor.

Pinelake Church Executive Pastor of Operations Rod Cadenhead pointed out in a statement that guns were not allowed on the property. In fact, a sign in front of the church says, “Carrying of a pistol or revolver is prohibited.”

Flowood Police Department Lt. Ricky McMillian said that Joseph Edgar Ray “had an ‘enhanced’ carry permits that allowed him to ignore signs prohibiting guns, except in some places like schools and courtrooms.”

Lt. Ricky also announced that Ray is an “upstanding guy” and that’s why he wasn’t releasing his mug shot.

Yep, Mississippi is just full of upstanding guys with enhanced carry permit just itchin’ to give you a war injury in church.

No, I’m not being sarcastic.  Mississippi is just that.

Thanks to TexasTrailerParkTrash for the heads up.

We Know You’re Busy, But ….

November 25, 2013 By: Juanita Jean Herownself Category: Uncategorized

I am still overwhelmed that so many of you were so generous in funding the special project for state of the art online tools that my buddy Glen Maxey is getting off the ground.

The Maxey Happy Dance

The Maxey Happy Dance

Due to your generosity, we have been able to add even more to this super program.

So, I’m back to ask for your help again.  Not money this time.  Time this time.  We need some of your time.

If you donated, we need your help beta-testing this program before we go live.  So, sometime before the end of the year or in early January, you will get an email from Glen with instructions on how to test the program so we can work out the kinks.  Not the kinkies – we let Glen keep the kinkies.  Just the technical kinks.

We want this sucker to work like a fifty dollar hammer on a greased nail when it debuts.

If you don’t have time, no sweat.  If you do, please be looking for the email from Glen next month. If you can give it five minutes or five hours, we will be eternally grateful.

And, again, thank you for blowing my socks off with your hard earned money.  I can promise you personally that it is being spent frugally and wisely.

I’ll let you know when there’s another grassroots project that needs your help.