Archive for August, 2013

(Heavy Sigh)

August 29, 2013 By: Juanita Jean Herownself Category: Uncategorized

He has clearly taken the off ramp on the road to enlightenment.

Yo, Cathey, You Up Yet?

August 29, 2013 By: Juanita Jean Herownself Category: Uncategorized

I know it’s fairly early in the morning, but I think I’ve told you before that Catherine Engelbrecht, President of True The Vote, lives in my little hometown of Richmond.  She even lives in the same County Commissioner Precinct that I do, although she voted for the candidate who openly, freely and proudly committed voter fraud.  I voted for the other guy because I take voter fraud seriously and not a just a way to make a living for myself.

And that is the main difference between Cathey and me:  I don’t accessorize with dangling hypocrisy.  Well, that and I don’t generally pose for pictures trying to look like God is shining light on my face.

Well, Cathey and her True the Vote is back in the news.  Oops, signature fraud in Ohio.

A Tea Party group in Ohio known for lambasting supposed voter fraud in the state is coming under fire for allegedly forging signatures itself.

True the Vote tried to place members posing as poll observers in polling places in African-American communities but falsified signatures in its bid to do so, Ohio-based political blog Plunderbund reported Monday.

The Franklin County Board of Elections determined Monday the group had likely forged the forms, which used candidate signatures copied from another set of paperwork that had been filed in early October, Plunderbund wrote in a follow-up story.

And add to that a statement from a guy who obviously hasn’t dealt with True the Vote before —

Election board member Zachary Manifold told Plunderbund he was “amazed that a group that goes to such extreme lengths to claim voting fraud in Ohio would knowingly forge or misuse signatures to try to gain access to Franklin County polling locations.”

You’ll be charmed to know that True the Vote is whining about the IRS questioning them.  First they call themselves non-partisan and next they claim they are being targeted because they are a conservative organization.  Cathey, Honey, don’t eat the cake and expect to have it tomorrow.

You can kiss my big blue butt, woman.  You are a huckster and a snake oil salesman.  You don’t care about voter fraud.  Your mission is voter suppression.  At least be honest about it.

Thanks to Kathleen for the heads up.

Yo, David.

August 28, 2013 By: Juanita Jean Herownself Category: Uncategorized

Today, whistling past the graveyard, David Dewhurst said …

“I know Wendy Davis,” he added. “And I don’t think she stands a chance running for statewide office.”

This from a man who —

— lost badly to Ted Cruz.

— can’t find crap.

— got hoodwinked by a campaign manager.

— could not keep time the night of Wendy’s filibuster.

— and thinks Rick Perry is a good Governor.

I wouldn’t bet a plug nickel on anything he says.

Calling All Members of the Juanita Jean Research Team.

August 28, 2013 By: Juanita Jean Herownself Category: Uncategorized

Late last year, it was disclosed by Lt. Gov. David Dewhurst that his campaign manager and longtime friend Kenneth “Buddy” Barfield has stolen $600,000 or maybe a million dollars from Dewhurst’s campaign account.

At the time, Dewhurst “alerted” the Travis County DA’s office.

The next time there’s news about this, it’s March and Dewhurst had sued Barfield in civil court.  The number figure has risen to $2 million.

That was March.  It’s almost October and while summers are long and hot in Texas, people generally don’t disappear.

Has anybody heard if Barfield was indicted?  Has anybody heard anything?

Just curious.

Ted Cruz and Ted Cruz Are Sitting in a Tree, K-I-S-S-I-N-G.

August 28, 2013 By: Juanita Jean Herownself Category: Uncategorized

Hammer, meet nail.

The Washington Post wonders, “How smart is Ted Cruz?” and comes to the conclusion of … that depends.

The most interesting observation is this one.

Cruz is emblematic of a group of conservative hucksters peddling outrage and paranoia who contend that the strength of the political resistance they generate is equivalent to their own importance, and that one dramatic, losing standoff after another is the pinnacle of political success. Alas, they confuse their own fame with achievement and divisiveness with progress.

I agree.  Ted Cruz does not want to be President.  He wants to be a rock star.

He would rather be Sarah Palin than Ronald Reagan.  And that is because he doesn’t know how to be Ronald Reagan.  Look, he was a debate nerd.  He has zero social skills.  He walked around the women’s dorm wearing a paisley robe, which he thought was sophisticated, hoping like hell to get laid and shocked that the women didn’t swoon.  But he did it again the next night because he didn’t know what else to do.

Like Sarah Palin, he’s a one trick pony.

He will run for President, fall flat on his face, and never understand what he did wrong.  He will blame it on a liberal conspiracy because he can never find himself at fault.  (It wasn’t the creepiness of the paisley robe, it was because girls are stupid.)

The Post concludes —

Cruz is not the guy to build the party or a governing majority (which requires moderate Republicans). But he is just the person to build up Ted Cruz. In fact, he is masterful.

Ted Cruz thinks he’s the only rooster in the barnyard.

If I say it’s Christmas, you better go buy some little twinkling lights and I say that Ted Cruz is just one move away from tight pants and a Mylie Cyrus dance.

Thanks to John for the heads up.

Your Morning Louie

August 28, 2013 By: Juanita Jean Herownself Category: Uncategorized

Okay, lets start with the obvious.  Certainly the world is getting too overcrowded and rich liberals have to do something about that.  I do not know why in Gohmertville that rich conservatives don’t do anything nefarious – it’s always rich liberals – , but hey it’s a pretend place and Gohmert makes the rules.

So, Gohmert goes on the radio with Alan Keyes, which is like dumb with a cherry on top, and they come up with a theory that the rich liberals are going to wipe out the people like Gohmert and Keyes with vaccines.

No, seriously.  We “liberal elites” have already discussed it.

“Bill Gates gave a famous talk back in 2009, which he was talking about actually abusing vaccinations, which are supposed to keep people healthy and alive, and saying how this could lead to a 15 percent reduction in the population of the globe as a way to achieve this result,” he continued.

I didn’t hear that one.  Do you think there may be the remote possibility that Bill Gates may have said something that Louie Gohmert did not understand?

Anyway, Louie is really scared about our liberal elite plan.

But, I can top him in the scared witless department.

The Egyptians take him seriously.

When Rep. Louie Gohmert floats conspiracy theories, Americans across the political spectrum tend to roll their eyes and ignore him. But one of his more feverish conspiracy theories about President Barack Obama’s ostensible ties to the Muslim Brotherhood could be fueling dangerous anti-American sentiments in Egypt and potentially complicating U.S. foreign policy in the region, experts say.

Since I don’t have a large following in Egypt to explain Gohmertville to them, it might take dropping Louie buck nakkid into Cairo with “THE Muslim Brother” tattooed on his butt.  With a vaccination.

Louie, come home.  You’re drunk and crazy.

Thanks to everybody for the heads up.