Archive for March, 2013

I Know It’s Good Friday and All and I Don’t Mean To Creep You Out, But My Goodness …

March 29, 2013 By: Juanita Jean Herownself Category: Uncategorized

I just have to let y’all know that there was a march of “Moms Demand Action” for gun safety in Indianapolis, Indiana, yesterday and armed men showed up to intimidate mothers.

Because, you know, mothers are so dangerous.

Hell, I raised three boys.  You cannot scare me.  You can, however, make me giggle.

I don’t think these guys checked the mirror before they left home.

This picture either says, “I’m intent on shooting someone in the foot.”


“Lookie here, Dr. Freud.”





And then there’s this guy.

Bless his heart.

His weenis is so small that he’s not even afraid of being able to hit it with an assault rifle.  That is very sad.

No, really, it’s sad.

Okay, I admit it.  It is funny.



Wanna talk about the big clips that can shoot off lotsa rounds or should I just leave that metaphor alone?


March 29, 2013 By: Juanita Jean Herownself Category: Uncategorized

As you well know, my dog is named Hairy Truman and he goes by Truman, because I want to say Harry Truman’s name every day.  I’m fixing to tell you why.

On October 13,th, 1948, Harry Truman gave a speech that still moves the soul and defines liberalism for me.  You can read the whole thing, or just this part —



Today the forces of liberalism face a crisis. The people of the United States must make a choice between two ways of living–a decision, which will affect us the rest of our lives and our children and our grandchildren after us.

On the other side, there is the Wall Street way of life and politics. Trust the leader! Let big business take care of prices and profits! Measure all things by money! That is the philosophy of the masters of the Republican Party.

Well, I have been studying the Republican Party for over 12 years at close hand in the Capital of the United States. And by this time, I have discovered where the Republicans stand on most of the major issues.

Since they won’t tell you themselves, I am going to tell you.

They approve of the American farmer-but they are willing to help him go broke.

They stand four-square for the American home–but not for housing.

They are strong for labor–but they are stronger for restricting labor’s rights.

They favor a minimum wage–the smaller the minimum the better.

They indorse educational opportunity for all–but they won’t spend money for teachers or for schools.

They think modern medical care and hospitals are fine–for people who can afford them.

They approve of social security benefits-so much so that they took them away from almost a million people.

They believe in international trade–so much so that they crippled our reciprocal trade program, and killed our International Wheat Agreement.

They favor the admission of displaced persons–but only within shameful racial and religious limitations.

They consider electric power a great blessing-but only when the private power companies get their rake-off.

They say TVA is wonderful–but we ought never to try it again.

They condemn “cruelly high prices”–but fight to the death every effort to bring them down.

They think the American standard of living is a fine thing–so long as it doesn’t spread to all the people.

And they admire the Government of the United States so much that they would like to buy it.

Now, my friends, that is the Wall Street Republican way of life. But there is another way–there is another way–the Democratic way, the way of the Democratic Party.

Of course, the Democratic Party is not perfect. Nobody ever said it was. But the Democratic Party believes in the people. It believes in freedom and progress, and it is fighting for its beliefs right now.

In the Democratic Party, you won’t find the kind of unity where everybody thinks what the boss tells him to think, and nothing else.

But you will find an overriding purpose to work for the good of mankind. And you will find a program–a concrete, realistic, and practical program that is worth believing in and fighting for.

I Understand. Look at Me. I Didn’t Know “Twit” Was a Disrespectful Word.

March 29, 2013 By: Juanita Jean Herownself Category: Uncategorized

Alaska Congressman Don Young, went on the electric radio and called migrant workers a demeaning term – wetbacks.

Don Young

I specifically recall when I first heard that term and asked Momma what it meant.  I was probably in first or second grade.  Momma explained what it meant and then said, “Don’t say that.  It makes little baby Jesus cry.”  Obviously, Don Young did not have a momma.  He probably chewed with his mouth open, farted in church, never bathed, and was, indeed, raised in a pig sty.

After he got caught making little baby Jesus cry, Young tried to explain, “I know that this term is not used in the same way nowadays, and I meant no disrespect.”

No, Don Young, it has always been a term of disrespect.  Nothing at all has changed about that.

So now all a’sudden, Don Young is the leader of the immigration reform parade.

Young went on to praise the role migrant workers play in society and called for the country to address immigration reform.

That’s okay Don, because migrant workers have a word for you, too.

Thanks to everybody for the heads up.

Friday Toons

March 29, 2013 By: Juanita Jean Herownself Category: Uncategorized





And for all you Hook ‘Em Fans out there ….


March 28, 2013 By: Juanita Jean Herownself Category: Uncategorized

So when a Republican politician eats stolen cashew nuts, is that cannibalism?

Dale Peterson, an Alabama Republican state official famous for flaunting his rifle in campaign ads promising to be tough on crime, was arrested Wednesday and charged with shoplifting a can of cashews. The arrest, first reported by, marked the second time in six months that Peterson has been accused of stealing.

His new arrest occurred at a Sam’s Club, where police said employees watched Peterson eat a can of cashews in the store, then place the empty can back on a shelf. Store security guards confronted Peterson on his way out. He was released from custody after posting $1,000 bond.

Peterson then took to Twitter to announce that it all was a giant conspiracy.

Yeah, you’re not supposed to arrest a white man for shoplifting.  Don’t you know the Alabama Criminal Code?

Thanks to Stephen for the heads up.

The French Are Coming and It’s Gonna Be All, “Obama est merveilleux!”

March 28, 2013 By: Juanita Jean Herownself Category: Uncategorized

Just in case you thought that Louie Gohmert and Ted Cruz were riding in a two-seater clown car, along comes Senator John Cornyn of Texas who knows for a fact that French and Chinese people are coming across the border, and they probably have intent to cook food and criticize our wine.

“You gotta stop the flow of people coming across and my friends and your friends Edd who have places in South Texas tell me, as a matter a fact a guy told me last night, he said we’ve got people coming across our place speaking Chinese, French and basically all of the languages in the world, coming through and across our southern border,” Cornyn said during an interview on KSEV.

Okay, so here’s the scenario.  There are fewer people than ever crossing the border.  But “a guy” says that French people are crossing the border in Texas, probably intent on opening a restaurant called “Le Bon Taco” in Del Rio just to get health care.  No, wait.  They get free health care in France.  Maybe they’re nihilists, I dunno.

John Cornyn

I have no idea how the Chinese people got to Mexico, much less Brownsville,  Also, I have questions about whether “a guy” in Brownsville would know Chinese from Japanese or Korean if he heard it.

We haven’t even touched on the questions I have about whether there is even “a guy” or Cornyn has hit the tequila again.

Thanks to Gary, Brian and Kip for the heads up.