Archive for December, 2012

John Boehner is Just One Tent Away From a Full Blown Circus

December 28, 2012 By: Juanita Jean Herownself Category: Uncategorized

What part of You Freekin’ Lost do Republicans not understand? The President’s plan won. The Republican plan lost.

I’m getting this second hand but someone told me that Grover Norquist was mumbling that John Boehner has a mandate because he was elected and the President needs to back down. The Democrats picked up 7 House seats this election. What does that say about Boehner’s leadership? It says he’s crappy. That’s what it says.

John Boehner does not have a loose screw – he’s missing the whole damn toolbox.

Let my people vote, John!

This emergency hissy fit was brought to you by the letters WT and F. Please return to your regular scheduled programming.

New Year’s Resolution: Find More Crazy Crap

December 28, 2012 By: Juanita Jean Herownself Category: Uncategorized

The Antichrist In Gangnam Style

God is making videos now.  No, seriously.

We can’t make the You Tube work here, so click right here and become witness to why some people should not have a Bible.

I Need Your Prayers. Windows 8 is Coming.

December 28, 2012 By: Juanita Jean Herownself Category: Uncategorized

I have a 4 and a half year old laptop.  It’s been a great laptop.  It’s been toted all over the country and into more meetings than any person should have to endure.  It gets pounded on, eaten over, coffee spilled, and had a squirrel attack it.  Seriously.  A squirrel.  Most of the keys have fallen off and you have to hit the space bar with a hammer to get spaces between words.

Santa brought me a new computer.  It’s still in the box because it’s Windows 8.  Windows 8 scares the bejeebers outta me. We have 154 kinds of snakes in Texas and 152 of them are poisonous.  I’d rather dance with the snakes than fiddle with Windows 8.

Now, I know that I can live a perfectly happy life with my iPhone and iPad and that I really don’t need a laptop.  Look, I have tried.  I have really tried to write without a real keyboard.  I cannot do it.  Some wacky people pay me money to type words for them so I need a keyboard.  Mainly because I need money.   Money to buy laptops.

I have successfully downloaded everything I want off this computer and later I’ll wipe it clean and donate it for Democrats to use for phone banking.  That’s kinda like putting it out to stud.

I will spend this weekend trying to get my new computer working.  I will also keep this computer running just in case I have problems with email, which I always do.

If you open the window and hear cussin’, it’s me.

Take Off The Damn Dress, Padre

December 28, 2012 By: Juanita Jean Herownself Category: Uncategorized

An Italian priest has caused a storm with the poopie del pollo statement that women incite domestic violence with cold dinners and filthy houses.

Yeah, Father, and alter boys incite rape by having hineys.

Son of a motherless goat.

The flyer said women “provoke the worst instincts” and “should search their consciences and ask: did we bring this on ourselves?”

“The fact is that women are increasingly provocative, they become arrogant, they believe themselves to be self-sufficient and end up exacerbating the situation,” Corsi added. “Children are abandoned to their own devices, homes are dirty, meals are cold or fast food, clothes are filthy.”

In an ironic twist, it is my belief that Father Corsi should take off that dress, clean his own damn house church, drop the arrogance that he knows crap about being a woman, and take his filthy mind to the dry cleaners.

Get a mirror, Padre.

Thanks to Brian for the heads up.

This is Fun and Fixing to Get Funner

December 28, 2012 By: Juanita Jean Herownself Category: Uncategorized

You folks from foreign states probably don’t know David Dewhurst but he’s hot snot in Texas.

Dewhurst is the Lt. Governor, known as Gov Lite around here, and ran against Crazy Ted Cruz in the Republican primary for Senate. And lost.  Big time.

Now in the never ending story of Republican greed knowing no boundaries, Dewhurst’s campaign made an announcement.

Lt. Gov. David Dewhurst’s campaign manager is under criminal scrutiny, suspected of stealing at least $600,000 — and possibly more than $1 million — from the Republican’s political accounts over the past several years.

Kenneth “Buddy” Barfield, a longtime GOP consultant who most recently managed Dewhurst’s failed run for the U.S. Senate, has been accused of falsifying documents to the Texas Ethics Commission that overstated the cash in Dewhurst’s state campaign committee by hundreds of thousands of dollars.

Republicans will not only steal from you, they will steal from each other.

I did find way too much amusement in some of Buddy Barfield’s tweets —

Yeah, and I’m stealing most of it.

5) Buy Buddy Barfield a new Lexus.

Buddy Barfield knows where a lot of bodies are buried and if some of Dewhurts’s state money was funneled into his federal race, this could be more fun than a sock hop.

But don’t worry about ole Buddy.  He’ll come out just fine.

Barfield is a political consultant based in Austin who has advised and worked for various Republican officeholders and candidates over the past quarter-century, including former U.S. Rep. Jim Collins of Dallas and one-time GOP nominee for governor Clayton Williams.

Also a real estate investor, Barfield owns a 6,000-square-foot home in an upscale neighborhood west of the University of Texas campus in Austin. The home, purchased in 2000, is valued at more than $1.5 million by the Travis Central Appraisal District.

Texas politics – it’s a blood sport.

Thanks to Aggieland Liz for the heads up.

Friday Toons

December 28, 2012 By: Juanita Jean Herownself Category: Uncategorized