Archive for April, 2012

Men I Love

April 29, 2012 By: Juanita Jean Herownself Category: Uncategorized

I wanted to title this post “Dinglebagger,” but changed my mind because John Dingle deserves love.

At 85 years old, Dingle is the longest serving current member of Congress.  He’s a great Democrat, who thinks the Tea Party is just a shiver looking for a spine to run up.

He frequently uses the term Teabagger.  According to Robert Draper’s new book, Dingle’s staff decided they should tell him what teabagging is prior to him going on Jon Stewart’s The Daily Show.

When his chief of staff shared the other meaning of ‘teabagger’ with Dingell, the Congressman went through three different stages of reaction. At first, he said ‘hah,’ then said ‘that’s disgusting,’ and finally the octogenarian congressman reached the plain of acceptance and said, ‘It’s funny and I’m going to keep using it.'”

That’s men I love.

Thanks to Deb for the heads up.

Yard Sign Day in North Carolina

April 28, 2012 By: Juanita Jean Herownself Category: Uncategorized

I cannot pass up the opportunity to show you this yard sign.  I made Bubba, Jr. stop the car, circle the block, and stop the car again so I could get out and make sure I read it correctly.

And if you go to Mattie’s website, you will discover that she is a woman of many, many oh yeah, she’s still talking,  many words.  Among them, you will find this oddity —

My church is Liberty Christian Fellowship in Colington, NC, where I am active as a member of the Safety and Security Team, coordinate the lovely greeter staff, occasionally fill-in on the sound team and gladly perform other tasks as needed.

I dunno.  If your church needs a safety and security TEAM, maybe you’re mistakenly at Seal Team 6 instead of the Lord’s House.  You’d think prayer would be enough.

I did want you to see that all kinds of anti-Amendment One signs are being planted here.

And here’s Bubba planting his own.

Fighting the Freewill Baptists

April 28, 2012 By: Juanita Jean Herownself Category: Uncategorized

Now you’d think that if someone called themselves a “Freewill Baptist,” they would favor freewill.   This is not true.  We woke up to busloads of old, mean women in orthopedic shoes with bad cases of constipation.

First thing I hear when I walk into the breakfast room of the hotel is one old woman saying to another old woman, “Then this black girl came up to me and you know how black girls are….” at which point they both rolled their eyes.

It is only through the grace of God that I did not dunk her head into the scrambled egg buffet tray and loudly declare her soul saved of the evils of all things black girl.

When the second bus pulled up …

… Bubba asked me please, please, please not to get into a Bible drill with old ladies, especially those who actually need their heads drilled to relieve the pressure of damn dumb.  I believe that none of them could  read anyway because I was pretty sure that they wouldn’t be wearing Hush Puppies with knee high hose and polyester dresses if they had a teevee or could read the news.

They loaded up their buses and headed out to plant their grass-murdering signs all over North Carolina.  I was going to let the air out of their tires but Bubba said I better not because every lawyer in North Carolina is tied up with the John Edwards trial.  Good point.

But, we don’t need buses when we have activist like Paul.  I meet Paul last night wearing his I VOTED sticker.  Honey, I will pit Paul against seven buses of mean old women.  Paul is a very gifted photography student at ECU and is taking every other student he knows to vote.

Little did Republicans know when they put this on the ballot that it would be become an amazing organizing tool for young Democrats.  It is explained to young voters that they not only have to vote this down, they have to go back in November to elect Democrats to the state house to keep crap like this and old grouchy women hitting people with their Bibles from happening.

Views From North Carolina

April 27, 2012 By: Juanita Jean Herownself Category: Uncategorized


This yard sign is so toxic that it killed the grass all around it.

And it looks like the good guys might win.  It’s an uphill battle for us, but every sane person in North Carolina is pushing hard.

This Makes My Eyes Hurt

April 27, 2012 By: Juanita Jean Herownself Category: Uncategorized

You know that witch Monica Crowley on Fox news who tweeted “To a man?” to the news that Sandra Fluke is getting married?

Well, she apologized made another damn fool of herself.

Here’s what she tweeted when people asked her if painfully stupid is just an expression or did she actually feel some discomfort.

Regret my tweeted question caused a stir. I certainly & unequivocally apologize to Sandra & anyone else I offended. Not my intention.

She did not regret her statement.  She regretted it caused a stir.  She apologizes to anyone she offended, not to the entire niceties of social norms, professionalism, and decorum expected of a “news” person.

“Not my intention.”  WhatTheFooltarnation?  If being rude, crude, and socially unacceptable was NOT your attention, Monica, then what the dickens was?  Was your intention to offer of prayer and blessings of joy on the happy couple?  And you did that by questioning the brides sexuality, which by the way is none of your damn business?

Okay, Monica Babe, I fully intend to offend you:  Take your double digit IQ and your I-was-raised-in-a-barn attitude and shove it up Rupert Murdock’s wrinkly old butt.

If Texas Attorney General Greg Abott Was Any Dumber, We’d Have to Water Him Twice a Week

April 27, 2012 By: Juanita Jean Herownself Category: Uncategorized

Texas AG Greg Abbott is flat-out amazingly intellectually clumsy.   Everything he touches turns rotten.

You know how he’s fighting to force Texans to show up at the polls with bizarre forms of identification – license to carry a handgun = yes, veteran ID = hell, no –  before allowing them to vote?

Well, in his arguments to the Justice Department defending what amounts to a poll tax and a four ring circus just to vote, he showed his respect for the private information of Texans.

State Attorney General Greg Abbott’s office inadvertently gave the Social Security numbers of millions of Texas voters to opposing lawyers in the voter ID case but said on Wednesday the information never was exposed publicly.

And we know it was never publicly exposed because …. Greg Abbott says so.  And Greg Abbott is never wrong.  Well, almost never wrong.  Okay, he was right once.  Almost.

The attorney general’s office gave the records to the opposing lawyers on password-protected, encrypted disks, Hodge said.

Wooooo … password protected.  I wonder what the password was?  TellMittI’llBeVeep?