Archive for February, 2012

Make No Mistake About It, Girlfriends, The Republicans Are Coming For Your Pills

February 28, 2012 By: Juanita Jean Herownself Category: Uncategorized

Oh yeah.

They are serious about this crap.  They are coming after your contraception.  And they mean business.

And, they readily admit that the only thing standing between them and taking away your contraceptives is President Barack Obama.

When Bob Scheiffer interviewed Mitch McConnell, he asked about Senator Roy Blunt’s desire for an amendment that would allow any group that had a “moral objection” to contraception to not have to pay for birth control pills.

McConnell’s response?  “Hey, lookie, I’m a damn crazy man.”

You know if– if we end up having to try to overcome the President’s opposition by legislation, of course, I’d be happy to support it and intend to support it.

You, Girlfriend, are next.  In a explosive collision of religion asserting themselves into government, they want to remove contraception from Obamacare (Yeah, he does care so what’s it to you, Mr. So-Called Christian).  You know, because they have “moral objections” to birth control, but not to letting children starve or die without insurance.

McConnell, you’re an old man.  You are not doing the wild thing, and even when you did it apparently wasn’t wild because you’re so willing for everyone to give it up.

You have moral objections to birth control, but not to war, or hunger, or poverty or pollution, or tobacco, or letting people die outside emergency rooms doors if they aren’t citizens?  Don’t you talk to me about morality, you shriveled-up old man.  You don’t get that honor, twit.  Your morals suck.  Big time.

This wall-eyed snot nosed hissy fit is brought to you by a heads-up from David.

Awwww, Newt. You Do Not Disappoint Me.

February 28, 2012 By: Juanita Jean Herownself Category: Uncategorized

Remember Newt Gingrich having well over 300 ethics violations while he was Speaker of the House?  Remember him leaving Washington, Dee Cee, floating in a jug of shame juice?

Awwww…. Newt.  I knew you would come through for us.

Headline at Bloomberg:  Gingrich Tells FEC to Drop Dead

So, here’s the deal.  Even the ultra rightwing Washington Times is mortified by Gingrich’s filings with the Federal Election Commission.

As the Washington Times reported last week, the Gingrich campaign has a tendency to generalize when filing finance disclosure statements, citing, for example, more than $88,000 in reimbursements to Newt Gingrich in January for … “travel.” The expense was part of what the Times characterized as “$220,000 in mystery money” paid to top Gingrich staff. As the Los Angeles Times noted, the Gingrich-allied super-PAC Winning Our Future has also been paying very impressive fees to the long-time Gingrich aides who run the super-PAC.

And Newt’s answer to the FEC?  The same as Newt’s answer to women:  kiss my rosy bloated beeehind.

After the FEC asked Newt to itemize his expenditures because, well, you know, there’s like rules to this game, Newt’s campaign replied that the Gingrich campaign had concluded that “no further itemization is required” for the expenses and so none was forthcoming.

Rules?  Newt don’t need no stinkin’ rules.

I promise you, if you stuck a pin in Newt, he’d fly around the room backwards for three days on pure ego deflation.

Thanks to Ralph for the heads-up.

Okay, So When Are We Gonna Make These Damfools Pay Taxes?

February 28, 2012 By: Juanita Jean Herownself Category: Uncategorized

I consider myself a woman of faith, but unlike Rick Santorum, I am not a jerk about it.  Separation of church and state does not make me vomit.  I do not want government in my church.  The road between government and state goes east as well as west. If you put church in government, you have to put government in church.

We have this giant ole Megachurch in Houston.  It’s called Grace Community Church, and they have this big ole 50 foot cross.  Seriously.  They do.  I dunno, maybe I’m wrong, but I think the last thing Sweet Jesus wants to see when he returns is a cross.  That was not a happy time for him. I think Sweet Jesus would much rather return to see us comforting the sick and feeding the poor instead of building 50 foot crosses.  I dunno, I could be wrong, but I’m betting on my way and they are betting on theirs.

In all honesty, Grace Church should be sued for false advertising because there’s no grace within miles of that place.


Their pastor, Steve Riggle, is the kind of guy you want to ask, “Is painfully stupid just an expression, or do you actually feel some discomfort?”

Riggle, who is allowing the Republican Party of Harris County to hold their April convention at his church, sent a letter to Houston’s mayor Annise Parker asking her to resign.  Since Mayor Parker’s opponents in the last mayoral race came up way short in the keeping-up department and she hasn’t done anything bad since then, why would he do that?

Mayor Parker is gay.  Somebody!  Please!  Declare the Inquisition!

Mayor Parker

It ain’t no damn secret.  She has been openly gay her entire political life.  Her partner stands beside her in the swearing in ceremonies.

I just happen to know Mayor Parker.  She is amazing.  She, too, is a woman of faith.

Let me give you a taste of Grace’s grace.

In January, Parker joined 77 of her colleagues at the U.S. Conference of Mayors in Washington, D.C., in calling for legalization of same-sex marriage.

Her participation in the event, weeks after her swearing in for a second term in January, amounted to what Riggle described in the email as a “call for action regarding marriage that would violate the very constitution you were swearing to uphold.”

When asked about Riggle’s message, Parker said Monday, ”I do my duty to uphold the state Constitution and the U.S. Constitution. I swore an oath to that. I take that oath very seriously, but I have my First Amendment rights to free speech.

Think of all the people who would be disqualified from holding public office for suggesting changes to the constitution.  Dr. King, all the suffragettes, every senator, congressman, and President who supported the 11th – 27th amendments to the Constitution, goodness sake, this is what I meant by painfully stupid.

Now that you’re thinking, think of all the Republicans who want to do unconstitutional things.  Hell, child, we could close down the Texas Legislature!

I think Grace Church not paying taxes is unconstitutional. I am going to set about writing a strongly worded letter to Pastor Riggle and tell him to get his flock outta my bidness.

Thanks to Miemaw for the heads up.

Even If We Are the Home of Bushes, Perry, Gohmert, and Paul, I Still Have Faith in Texas

February 28, 2012 By: Juanita Jean Herownself Category: Uncategorized

There’s a glimmer of hope deep in the heart of Texas.

Federal Election Commission records examined by the Houston Chronicle indicate more Texans have donated to Americans for a Better Tomorrow, Tomorrow than to the pro-Romney Restore Our Future.

So Stephen Colbert’s PAC has raised more money in Texas than Romney’s PAC.

There’s hope for Texas.

Thanks to Bananas for the heads-up.

Heads-Up for the Contest

February 28, 2012 By: Juanita Jean Herownself Category: Uncategorized

Do not forget about our contest.  Due to popular demand from some very lazy cagey people, we are extending the deadline until 3:00 today.

Remember:  rank them in the order you think they will finish in both states and give the percentage of votes you’ll think they’ll get.  This ain’t rocket science but it’s the closest most of us will ever get to it.

I’ll open a smarty pants comment section about 7:00 Texas time tonight so the customers can post their thoughts, terse political jabs, dreams, and best chili recipes.  If you’ve got better things to do … well, I’m certainly impressed.


Thanks to Brian for the great toon.

Do They Know Who They’re Messin’ With?

February 27, 2012 By: Juanita Jean Herownself Category: Uncategorized

Lots of you guys have asked me why such a giant big deal was made over Virginia having a let-government-check-your-lady-parts legislation when Texas did the same exact thing months before and the national media ignored it.

Mean Rachel has as good an explanation as any I know about.

But, it could be because we didn’t write a song about it.  Enjoy.

Thanks to Iris for the heads-up.