Wednesday Night Fights: The GOP Debates
I’m going to be at a fundraiser for Bernie Sanders tonight so y’all need to keep me updated when I sneak a peek at my iPhone. Discuss the debate amongst yourselves and try not to cuss.
Seriously, don’t cuss. Momma is watching.
And, of course we’re having a contest to guess Arizona and Michigan results so start pondering on your numbers.
If you get a chance, kiss that sweet wonderful man for all of us who love him, please.
1I’m rooting for Santorum in Arizona so it goes to Obama in the general election
2You know what I hate? I hate Noot! The UAW gave enormous concessions during the bailout, but he thinks THEY are the robber barons. By the way, I realize that it’s National Margarita Day and I have felt compelled to test all the recipes you guys sent, but I think Newt’s hair looks particularly weird. Is he wearing a Bump-it?
3Give Bernie my Best! Luv Our Senator!
4I won’t watch the clowns but someone said “the main issues that these guys have talked about in this debate have been birth control (Romney saying Santorum too liberal), war with Syria and Iran, women in combat, and how to keep brown people out of America.” And not one word about Satan?
5Anyone notice Newt wore a royal purple tie to SUBTLY remind everyone that he’s Catholic? Santorum and Romney got into a slap fight that devolved into “I know you are, but what am I?” They already look like clones of either each other or PeeWee Herman (sorry, PeeWee). Ron Paul came out as the grown-up. Sheesh.
6I wish there were a big ole ‘LIKE’ button for y’all, because your comments are the best!
I broke down and passed on the debates, in favor of the after-parties-with-pundits, and watched the super-cynical Ides of March instead.
Post-debate shots of Noot def show him in Calista hair.
7It’s got be frothy on first because you would not want him in the rear.
8Tonight I saw a video of Callista being asked what she’s giving up for Lent.
She said (I swear this is true): “My opinion,” and she kind of rolled her eyes at Newt. He laughed and replied: “That doesn’t count.”
Meaning? Her opinion isn’t considered worthy enough.
Someday that helmet of hers is going to explode and there’re going to be Tiffany pearls flying in all directions like shrapnel.
9The absolute best thing about this debate: Rumor has it…… it is the very last one. Thank goodness!
10Last night I just followed the Daily Kos live-blogging on the debate ’cause I couldn’t (didn’t want to anyhow) get it on TV.
This AM went over to Red State to see who they think “won” (if a game is played in Wacko-Land, you have to abide by Wacko-Land standards.) Silly old Eric says that Newt won.
11I’ve got a transcript for you. It’s lost something in the translation from the original gibberish, but I think I’ve captured the gist of it.
Clown #1: I sure loves me some freedom
All: Yup yup yup
1: Obama doesn’t love freedom
A: Nope nope nope
2: I hate earmarks
1,4: Me too, Me too
3: I hate them more than you do
2: No you don’t
3: Yes I do
4: Obama loves earmarks more than anyone
A: Yup yup yup
3: How about them women
A: Bad bad bad
1: And sex!
2: Gay sex is a felony
3: Unmarried sex is a misdemeanor
4: I like sex (Audience: Boooooooooooo)
4: Obama is a furriner! (Audience: Yaaaaaaay)
3: I hate illegal furriners
2: I hate poor people
1: I hate poor illegal furriners mostest of all
A: Yup yup yup
2: I like God, and especially Jesus and the other one, the spooky one
A: Yup yup yup
3: You know who Obama hates? God. And Jesus. Especially Baby Jesus.
A: Yup yup yup
3: I hate satanism
1: I hate socialism
2: You used to be a socialism
1: Did not!
A: DID TOO!
1: It’s not a socialism if a state does it, only the federal government
4: I HATE the federal government
3: Obama is a federal communism government socialism Kenyan satan
A: Yup yup yup
Audience: Yaaaaaaaay.
The End.
12Personally, I’m glad the Acme Clown College had its last Talent Show last night…who knew clowns could be so depressing?
Who won? As has been the case for weeks, Barack Obama of course. Who lost? Last night was Rick Sanctimonium’s chance to gain some ground on Calypso Mitt, but, being the inept little twerp that he is, couldn’t pull it off …now I see why he lost his last election by 16 points.
13I watched some, before my head threatened to explode. I now have a better understanding of why some people are frightened of clowns.
14You guys that watched the clownfest are brave souls. Personally I like to avoid headache triggers. Thanks for taking it in for the team. I hope someday there will be a SNL skit summing this all up. Your comments ROCK!
15I follow the debates on twitter and enjoy unbelievable comments. Bill Maher, Andy Borowitz, John Fuglesang, Pourmecoffee, and Eileen Smith from In the Pink blog make it all fun.
16I couldn’t watch but I really hate to see the clownfest end . . . it’s been great in terms of destroying all the Republican candidates and it didn’t cost us a thing. They paid for it themselves.
17Some of the best comments on the web are posted in this blog! Thanks for the fun.
18I live in Arizona. The folks are bat guano crazy here, so it’s hard to say who will end up out-crazying who. My bet is that Mitt will win Arizona’s primary, only because of the large Mormon population. Still, the tea party is huge here and Ricky and Newty are tied for poster boy of the year.
19These are the best comments on the web. daChipster totes nailed it. I have a sinus problem from snorting my cocktail thru my nose!
20Thanks for the levity in a very dark and depressing era.
Chipster, I would add the following.
“I outcrazied you tonight.”
21“No, you didn’t!”
“You’re both wrong! It was me!”
“Paul said, all three of you are upstarts.”
@ LucyTooners, my better half recommends the Daily Show w Jon Stewart. You might want to try it, you won’t have to wait for SNL
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