It’s The Don’t Let Your Chad Hang Out Florida Republican Primary Contest and Bragging Rights Gala
I know you’ve been waiting, but we’ve been waiting, too. Big Mike sent us the prize for this contest and it got here today.
Same rules as before. Your guess the outcome of the Florida Republican primary and you win this glorious, magnificent, plastic, pink, and weatherproof flamingo that’s perfect for fine lawns all across the south. If you live in the north, what is wrong with you?
It's genuine. This ain't no faux plastic pink flamingo.
It’s not only pink; it has legs, my friends.
You guess the correct order of the finish in the Florida primary and the percentage each candidate gets. The winner will be determined by: (1) who has the 4 names in the correct order, and then by (2) who comes closest to the correct percentages of the vote. In case of a tie, the names will be ceremoniously written on small pieces of scrap paper and put into Thelma’s Mardi Gras hat, where the winning name will be drawn by Miss Verdelia. We will give this event the dignity and importance it oh so well deserves.
If you are the winner, this pink flamingo will be mailed to you at your home or place of business. Sorry, but we no longer mail to Crazy Manny’s Ice House because we are hacked at him over his tacky comment about Thelma’s Mardi Gras hat. So, if you get your mail there, you’re just flat out of luck.
A giant thanks to Big Mike for providing this genuine pink plastic flamingo.
You know, I tried really really hard to figure this out, but it hurts my brain to think like a right wing republican.
I can’t decide if that moon base is going to push Gingrich over the top. Or if it is the fact that Santorum has exposed the deviousness of POTUS Obama, he wants all children to go to college because, gasp, it will make them lose their religion!!
Or if those racist newsletters of Ron paul will appeal instead of appall.
And those tax shelters of Romney? Will they make people jealous that they didn’t think of doing that.
Or are people just realizing how bad the field really is and will vote other???
I don’t know. My hubby loves him those flamingos. It would make a great birthday present. But I am afraid that if I win, my brain would pay the price, seeing as I was thinking like ‘those people’.
1I don’t want to thisnk that one of them will win because it makes me very sad for my country.
So, I will have to go by Joe a birthday present. Drats!!!!
Mittens: 42%
2Nootie: 30%
Frothy: 13%
Paul: 10%
Other: 5%
And, If I win, send that bird to Diane.
3That’s just the thing I need to class up the used mobile home I’m gonna sub lease.
Romney 4o
4Gingrich 39
Paul 12
Santorum 7
OAC (Other Assorted Crazies) 2
Mittens 40%
Newtie 25%
Gramps (paul) 25%
Frothy 5%
If I win send that bird to Diane too. I love the bird but her reasons for wanting it sounds even nicer.
5Romney 38
Gingrich 29
Paul 19
Santorum 12
I reaaaally want that Pink Flamingo cause my Republican neighbors directly across the street will hate it
6Blind Trust Romney 38%
7Third Try Gingrich 34%
Frothy Piety 14%
Bicycling Fool Paul 13%
Perry/
Mittster 38
8Noot 36
Paul 14
Santorum 8
total wackos the rest or 4%, uh make that the rest of the total wackos. The field is ate up with wackos.
If I win, please send the prize to Diane. My cows would not offer the degree of appreciation that such a lovely bird deserves.
9Oooooh, just the thing to go with the chili pepper white trash lights I have strung around the patio!!
Mittens 40%
10Lizard 36%
Frothy 12%
Gramps 10%
Also rans 2%
Calypso Mitt of the Caymans: 40%
11Space Newt: Rocket Guy! 30%
The Earl of Frothybottom: 15%
Doctor Doofenshmutz: 5%
Anyone Else…Please! 10%
Going to buck the trend here
Newtster 40%
Mittens 35%
The Froth 15%
Gramps 8%
Other 2%
But send the bird to my ex.
12Early voters and absentee have already sent their ballots in before the SC primary so odds are Mittens will get their votes and it will carry him to a win.
BTW, in the north we always said that the Pink Flamingo you are giving away is the International Signal for “An Italian lives here who went to Florida” or at least it was in my old neighborhood.
13Pole or Bohemian, and those weren’t the word used, lives here.
I’m 1/4 Bohemian (mostly, some Pole in there too).
14Mitt 39%
Newt 27%
Ron 19%
Rick 15%
So either Mr. Offshore, Mr. Mean and Flabby, Mr. Gold or Mr. Give Those Women a Chastity Belt is definitely going to Disney World after this one.
15Oh, it’s Florida — home of Rick Scott. Let’s make it interesting:
Frothy 37%
16Grampa Ron 32%
Nootles 22%
Mittens 9%
TI don’t care even a little (or give a crap either): 89%
17My wife votes Dem: 7%
My daughter has a new son: 2%
My grandson is worried about career choice: 2%
Mitt – 39
18Newt – 38
Ron P. – 10
Rick S. – 9
other idiots – 4
Mitt – 41
19Newt – 32
Rick – 15
Ron – 10
Romney – 40%
demographic: retired Republicans living in FL- (“We’ve got ours–to hell with everyone else.”)
Santorum – 25%
demographic: anti-choice Protestants, anti-choice Catholics
Gingrich – 15%
demographic: mean Crackers under the impression that Gingrich is a Southerner
Paul – 5%
demographic: Nerdy white guys who think they are or might become John Galt
20I should have added to Romney’s demographic: Cuban-American fans of Jeb Bush.
21I really need that bird up here on the mountain!
Romney – 39%
Gingrich – 32%
Paul – 17%
Santorum – 12%
And speaking of candidates and claims to fame, will someone please explain how George Romney, born in Mexico, could have been a presidential candidate?
22George Romney was born in Mexico but both his parents were US citizens.
Sort of like McCain, who was born in Panama, but his parents were US citizens.
So they were eligible, and would have been even if only one parent was a US citizen.
And, besides, have you noticed that both those guys are white?
23I forgot to add that Karl Rove’s birth circumstances are such that he has dual citizenship: the US and also Germany.
24Dog botherer: 38
25Old coot: 20
Pop’n’ fresh: 20
Man on dog botherer: 10
Jimmy Buffet: (Because the Conch Republic will have its say)
Death to coyotes: 2 (some places in the pan handle are slow about getting the news)
Snow Snookie: 2 (Some guys still like the sparkle smile)
The Beard: 2 (because I needed 2% and Hermie isn’t quite as silly)
That was Jimmy Buffet: 4
26Caribbean Mittens 44
27Lunar Neutron 30
Icky Surge 14
Golden Ron 10
People without superpacs and people dumb enough that even repubs decided they’re dumb 2
Mitt 43%
28Newt 28%
Santorum 16%
Paul 12%
Mitt Romney 42%
Newt Gingrich 31%
Rick Santorum 13%
Ron Paul 8%
Now I know that they are no longer running, but since they are still on the ballot and you are talking about republicans:
Rick Perry 3% (The old people love his hair)
Michele Bachmann 2%
Herman Cain 1%
Damn, math is hard!
29Mitt – 41%
30Noot – 29%
Santorum 17%
Paul – 9%
Other assorted folks 4%
Mittens-40
31Grinch-34
Ricky Sandy-11
Senator Paul’s dad-7
mixed nuts-the rest
Romney 51%
Gingrich 23%
Santorum 12%
Paul 10%
None of the above 4%
Sadly, it may be over. What good are republicans if they cease being entertaining?
32Grandpa Munster Mitt: 40
33Newt the Knife: 34
Vice-Presidential WannaBe Santorum: 12
Let ‘em die in the hospital parking lot Paul: 10
Romney 48%
34Gingrich 25
Paul 12
Santorum 8
Everyone else 7%
Romney…..39%
35Gingrich…..34%
Santorum…..15%
Paul…..12%
I’d thought of not entering because I’m SO not into pink. Close friends and family laugh about it and my surrogate niece, who is just aging out of an obsession with pink loves to tease me. (She wrapped my Christmas present in layers and layers of pink tissue, including the inside of the box!)
But I’ve decided to follow the the kindly example of others and to ask that Juanita direct that very attractive flamingo (too bad flamingo’s are pink!) to Diana if I should win.
Mitt 42%
36Newt 32%
Ron 14%
Rick 12%
Mitty 40
37Newty 30
Ricky 16
Ronnie 13
I don’t know why. I’m weary of all these clowns. But they sure do make our President look fantastic!
Romney 46%
38Newt 29%
Santorum 13%
Paul 11%
Mitt — 40%
Newt — 30%
Ron — 20%
Rick — 10%
PLEASE pull a Florida count & throw it my way!! I really, really need that GOP flamingo in my front yard where it will get full attention of my many Republican neighbors who had a hissy fit about my Obama/Biden sign & complained to the HOA board. (Covenants only refer to commercial signs, but I’m out-numbered here in Georgia.)
39Having survived the Bush years, I thought they couldn’t get any crazier.
40Mitt of the Multiple Grandmothers and offshore Cayman accounts – 39
“Newt”onian Gravitational Well – 38
Ragged Individualism Ron – 10
Rick belongs in the Sanitorium – 8
Other Mixed Nuts and Brandied Fruitcakes – 5
And may I offer my own observation? I think that inside every thinking, intelligent Republican is an Independent just waiting to be born……
Romney 45%
41Gingrich 30%
Santorum 14%
Paul 9%
Juanita, can I change my chad? Pretty please? After reading a few Florida news sites, I’d like to recast my bet as:
Mitt — 50%
42Newt — 25%
Rick — 15%
Ron — 10%
Mitt 45
43newt 29
Santorum 15
Paul 11
Mitt 40%
44Newt 30%
Rick 16%
Ron 13%
Chad 1%
while I’ve never done this before, I predict:
Romney – 42%
Gingrich – 33%
Santorum – 13%
Paul – 10%
(and Obama 50%+ in Florida!)
45Should I win, I have no yard in which to plant the pink flamingo, so I suppose it will just have to revert back to FBDP as an auction item, should I win!
46Romney-41%
47Gingrich-32%
Paul-15%
Santorum-13%