There Ain’t No Hoochy-Koochy in Texas
There ain’t no hoochy-koochy in Texas among teenagers. We have the least sparkin’ teenagers in the whole damn United States of America. That’s why our Attorney General, Greg Abbott, once again refused to file for a federal grant to fund sex education for teenagers. We don’t need it. Our teenagers are all virgins.
Which is prettty damn amazing considering that we have the highest teenager birth rate in the country. Obviously, they’re getting pregnant from public toilet seats. We don’t have a sex problem. We have a public toilet seat problem.
The Super DeLux Brand Steeple People believe that if you educate teenagers about sex, they’ll have some. However, if you don’t tell them about sex, they’ll never, ever figure out how that telephone pole got into the ground.
Teen pregnancies are costing Texas taxpayers one billion dollars a year. You’d think that the rightwing would hate the money part more than they hate the sex part.
Juanita thinks they don’t want sex education because then they’ll find out that they’ve been doing it wrong.
Thanks to MaryK for the heads up.
“You’d think that the rightwing would hate the money part more than they hate the sex part.”
No, I wouldn’t!
1Reminds me of an old joke I heard when I was a youngster in Texas…
Something to the effect of, “Why won’t Baptists have sex standing up? Answer: They’re afraid somebody might see ‘em and think they’re dancin’….”
2That high birthrate shows that they already know how so they don’t need no educatin’.
3Well, if things go Rick Perry’s way, we won’t have the research departments of the University of Texas or any other state colleges in Texas to let us know that we have the highest rate of teen mothers and spend a billion tax dollars supporting them. We will then, be stoopid and blissfully happy in our ignorance!
4As usual, they’d rather have the wedge issue than the solution.
5Let’s see: San Antonio tends to be #1 in teen pregnancies. Howeve do they get pregnant? Definitely not by looking at pictures of Icky Ricky….
6Susan you are on your game today.
7Susan you are on your game today.
8What the Puritans like about banning sex ed is that if the kids have sex (and most of them will) then they will be punished, punished–I tell you–by getting pregnant!
Of course, only the girls will be punished at first, but that’s all right, too. Once the babies are born, they can be punished as well–no government assistance for those ——-s.
It’s all about meanness, which is so enjoyable for some “Christians.”
9Dayum,
Here I thought it was the SuperDeluxXtians of Tennessee who were so busily ‘abstaining and defunding Planned Parenthood’ who had the most immaculate conception teenagers is ‘Rill Merikkka’.
10*sorry,
I think it should have read: “immaculate conceiving” or something…..
11Thanks for the link on the cost of teen childbearing. I’m printing copies to bring with me to the Student Health Advisory Committee (SHAC) meeting tomorrow and will use it to continue advocating for Abstinence Plus sex ed in our district.
12I’m speechless, JC. You can advocate whatever you want, but those kids ain’t abstainin’.
13Eykis, you’re confusing the Immaculate Conception with the virgin birth. The Immaculate Conception refers to the superstition that Mary, the mother of the Christ, was born without original sin. The virgin birth is Mary’s own pregnancy that was not the result of actual sex with a human (yeah…right) but through he agency of the Holy Spirit (i.e. she got screwed by a dove).
Every once in a while my Catholic education comes in handy.
14Sex is WONDERFUL!! Hoorayyyy for sex!!
Just don’t tell the kids or they’ll want to do it too.
And, Texans, while your at it, you may want to keep them away from TV, books, magazines, radio–in fact all media, art, their friends, etc.
Oh, and maybe you should sterilize them also.
15I don’t know about any of you, but two hundred years ago, all of my known ancestors lived in mud houses or log houses. There are now people who believe that having lived in two bedroom houses for a family of ten, people would not have a pretty good idea about what sex was about. How would you keep sex a secret in that confined of space?
So now ignorance about sex is supposed to make sense to some people, that actually can write a coherent post.
Anyone actually imagines that this is progress?
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