The best part is that she didn’t have to do much with Rick Perry’s hair do.

I have to tell you a funny story.  It’s absolutely true, and I have witnesses.

About 8 years ago when my county commissioners had already decided to buy some very expensive voting machines from a company who gave them large political contributions, it was decided that the public would have an opportunity to see these machines and compare them to other machines before the purchase was made.  Some of us were perfectly happy with a pencil and paper ballot because we felt a verifiable trail of each vote was somewhat important.

So, they held the public viewing of the machines at 9:30 on a Thursday morning.  You know, when “the public” is just sitting around with nothing else to do.  And they didn’t even bother to hold it in the county seat.

We got to see three machines.  We got to touch them, try them out, and take them for a spin.  I, of course, representing the cranky obstinate portion of the citizenry didn’t like any of them because none of them left a paper trail.

So, after the explanation we were asked to vote on which machine we liked best.  And how did they ask us to vote?  With a pencil and paper.

We never got to see the results of that voting.  I asked several times to see it, but, nope.

So, I was not surprised to hear this.

Voting machines used by as many as a quarter of American voters heading to the polls in 2012 can be hacked with just $10.50 in parts and an 8th grade science education, according to computer science and security experts at the Vulnerability Assessment Team at Argonne National Laboratory in Illinois. The experts say the newly developed hack could change voting results while leaving absolutely no trace of the manipulation behind.

Okay, I’ve got the $10.50 if one of you guys has an 8th grade science education.

Thanks to Carl for the heads-up.

This is gonna take some ‘spalainin’ for you folks from foreign states, but I’ll try to keep it short.

We have two Republicans who are pondering running for sheriff in my county.  The incumbent is retiring so it’s an open office.  It’s going to be a fun race because I’m 5 foot 3 and both of these guys – Craig Brady and Troy Nehls – are shorter than I am and none at all prettier.  But, they both talk real big. It took Brady something like 20 years to get his degree from the UofH Downtown, which ain’t like the real UofH at all, and Nehls has a degree from Jerry Falwell’s Liberty University.  Neither is a rocket scientist.

Craig Brady is currently the Chief Deputy at the Sheriff’s Office and Troy Nehls is a Constable.

Which brings us to today’s events.

Texas has some propositions on our November ballot.  Proposition #10 is basically mop-up business.  Texas moved our filing deadlines to be on the ballot back a full month.  We have a law in Texas that says certain elected officials have to resign their current office if they announce their intent to run  for another office more than a full calendar year before they would take office for the new job.  I have no idea why that’s the law but it is.

So, since we moved the filing deadline back a month for this election, Proposition #10 would change the wording to “one year and 30 days.”  This would allow current officeholders to file for another office without resigning the office they hold for a full year just to run for another one.

I don’t know anybody who is against it.  Until now.

The Texas Highway Department, under the Lady Bird Johnson Beautification Act, will not allow candidates for office to put out their signs until 90 days before the election, even on private property.  Brady didn’t think this law applied to him because he’s … well, he’s Craig Brady, dammit.

So, he spent two weekends having his friends put his butt ugly signs all over the county.  And when the Texas Highway Department informed him that the State of Texas doesn’t have a Craig Brady Exception Rule, even unofficially, Brady had to spend two more weekends taking them all down.

Now Nehls ain’t a rocket scientist but he apparently knows one.  He realized there was an election 90 days away so he had the wherewithal to print up these signs:

If you look carefully, it does not say to vote for Troy Nehls.  It says to vote for Prop 10.  It does, however, have his name prominently displayed and sends you to his website.  It’s legal.  It’s smart.  And I laughed when I saw it.  He beat the system and you gotta give him credit for that.

So …… monkey see, monkey do.  A week or so later, these show up.

First off, I know I’ve written before that Brady’s signs are do danged ugly that your clothes wrinkle when you walk by them.  This one looks like a parrot threw up.

Second off, Prop #10 is going to pass by at least 70% because there’s no downside to it other than the fact that it would keep Craig Brady from having an opponent.  People outside of this county, and a mess of folks in the county, frankly don’t give a big bear’s butt about that.  So when it passes real big, and it will, Nehls looks like a winner and Brady looks like a loser.

Monkey see, monkey do, monkey don’t think this stuff through.

Whoever is selling Brady these signs can come to work for me selling ice to Eskimos.

I love local politics.  And this race promises to be more fun than pony rides in heaven.

The wisdom of the Texas Legislature astounds no one.  But this beats the band.

In Texas, we pay oil refineries not to kill us.  Seriously, I’m not joking.  It’s extortion pure and simple.

Three commissioners appointed by Gov. Rick Perry may grant some of the nation’s largest refineries a tax refund of more than $135 million – money Texas’ cash-strapped schools and other local governments have been counting on to help pay teachers and provide other public services.

And why, you ask, are they due this generous refund on the backs of schoolchildren?  Simple.  They replaced some equipment to clean up their emissions that were causing cancer.  Better a dumb child than a dead one.

We reward them for not killing us.

What’s more, agency documents show that if the commission grants the requests, at least 12 other refineries that have not sought a refund also could qualify.

The three-person commission last year expressed some support for the refund, prompting concern the panel is preparing to side with the industry in the middle of a budget crisis.

Should the commission approve the request, it would fall in line with Perry’s argument on the GOP presidential campaign trail that by being friendly to business he has attracted businesses and jobs to Texas while other states suffered.

So, when your state is ready to chose between education and air, we’ll get Rick Perry’s buddies to revoke child labor laws and keep bidness in Texas.

So, if you’re real excited about Rick Perry’s America, we’re getting together a group to secede after he’s elected President.

Thanks to Stephen for the heads-up.

In the continuing saga of Rick Perry courting Jews, one of our readers found this You Tube from December of last year.

Gov. Perry met with a delegation of Texas Jewish leaders Thursday to mark the first full day of Hanukkah, lighting the menorah in the governor’s public reception room, then singing and dancing along to traditional songs. The menorah holds one candle for each night of Hanukkah, with the ninth candle, the shamash, used to light the other candles.

It’s 7 minutes long, but if you’re patience you get to see Perry getting all excited about the clappin’ and dancin’ part.  He starts trying to keep time to the music with his right hand against his pants leg about one minute in.

At minute 4 something very odd happens.  Perry picks up the lighter on the table, does something with it behind his back involving his clothing, and then it disappears.  No, seriously, poof, gone.  I do not want to speculate where he hid it on his body.  I do not.  I suspect he didn’t want the rabbis stealing it.  And from where it looks like he put it, nobody will want to be touching it ever again.

At 4:30 he signals to his aide to get him the hell out of there.  Then the dancing starts and Perry makes it known he’s ready for Dancing with the Stars.

Enjoy!

Thanks to David for the heads-up.

My email is deader than Cleopatra. They have no idea when they’ll get it working again so if you’ve emailed me since about noon today I’m not ignoring you. Try carrier pigeons, smoke signals, or hollering real loud.

I’ll let you know when they get it working again.

(sound of fingers drumming on the desk)

UPDATE:  I’ve got mail.  The little geek gerbils starting running around the wheel again and my email is working!