Archive for September, 2011

They Don’t Call Him Governor Goodhair For Nothin’, You Know

September 29, 2011 By: Juanita Jean Herownself Category: Uncategorized

Sometimes Ebay is the most entertaining place on the planet.

Want a six foot tall Rick Perry head?  Only $4,500.  Would I kid you?

According to Ebay (and I’m putting all this here because they will eventually take it down.) —

Rick Perry has a hole in his head.  Lots of them, in fact.   For sale is a 6′ terra cotta flower planter in an extraordinary likeness of Rick’s head.  The outline of his hair is surprisingly accurate, with holes throughout to grow lush grass, flowing ivy or flowering plants.  Prayer plants might be appropriate.

The bust was initially used by Dairy Waste Management (, a company which manufactures COW WOW, a liquid fertilizer made from dairy cow manure without the manure odor.  Last year they commissioned busts of Perry and Bill White, former mayor of Houston and Perry’s opponent in the 2010 gubernatorial election.  The “hair” of each candidate was ivy nourished by Cow Wow, and voters were asked to vote for their favorite hair (  Nobody had to split hairs in that race – Bill White won by a landslide.  Ivy can certainly level a playing scalp.

At last year’s ACL Music Festival in Austin, Rick’s larger-than-life head entertained thousands of concert-goers who kissed his cheeks, picked his nose, inspected his ears and tickled his ivy.

The shrewd buyer of this iconic planter can plop it in the front yard, proud to show a growing support for the presidential candidate.  Or head ‘em up, move ‘em out and circle the Capitol with Rick and his colorful locks in the back of a pickup.

Hmmm, Rick stated at a Tea Party debate that he would be offended if somebody thought he could be bought for $5,000.  He obviously hasn’t evaluated his worth as a gigantic planter.  You can secure this bad boy for only $4,500.

This one-of-a-kind marvel can be picked up in Blanco, Texas.  Bill White’s head is also for sale, if anybody is interested.

Plants are not included.  A gallon of Cow Wow is.

There ya got it.  Right there is Rick Perry:   manure without the manure odor.  Pretty much says it all.

Thanks to Debbie for the heads-up.

Super PACs Aren’t Enough For The Perry Spending Machine

September 29, 2011 By: Juanita Jean Herownself Category: Uncategorized

Okay, so I told you about one Super PAC with does-this-husband-and-wife-speak-to-each-other ties that is raising money for Rick Perry.  After raising only $16,500 – mostly from lobbyists and political consultants –  they shut down.  (PDF)

But, now they’ve jumped the shark on political fundraising.

Citizens for a Greater America, a group newly launched by allies of GOP presidential candidate Rick Perry, has organized under IRS rules as a 501(c)(4) permitting donors to give unlimited contributions and remain secret.

Hell, yes!  That unlimited and anonymous fundraising is da bomb!  You can take money from foreign nationals, even members of Al Qaeda, drug dealers, gun runners, and even people worse than that – Bob Perry – and nobody is the smarter.

It’s the simple answer to I Have Sleazy Friends With a Radical Agenda And Lots of Money.

Thank you, Citizens United, for putting American politics in the crapper.

And Thanks to Alfredo over at the Dairy Queen for the coffee this morning and the heads-up.

Tea Party MENSA Meeting

September 29, 2011 By: Juanita Jean Herownself Category: Uncategorized

Click the little one to get the big one.

Thanks to Kary for the heads-up.

Anita, You Ain’t Helpin’ None

September 28, 2011 By: Juanita Jean Herownself Category: Uncategorized

There a story in Texas about a local sheriff calling the Texas Rangers for help with a riot in his town.  A couple days later, one ranger rode into town.

“Is that all they sent?” asked the sheriff, “Just one Ranger?”

“Well,” replied the Ranger slowly, “ain’t there just one riot?”

And that’s where the term, “One riot, one Ranger,” came from.

Anita Perry spoke yesterday and went all harpie defending her husband because the other debaters were ganging up on him.  So, apparently Texas cannot have one debate, one Governor.

Does Rick know that the President of the United States often has to handle more than one thing at a time?  That sometimes people gang up on America?  That when the 3:00 a.m. phone call comes, it won’t help a lot if your have to call in your wife to whine for you?

Anita promised that Rick would be “better prepared” next time.  Hell, it’s a little late for that.  Texas has a truckload of problems and it’s a tad late to prepare Rick to govern.  And why do I get the idea that she’s gonna wallop him upside the head if he doesn’t get prepared?  It ain’t like those two are real friendly with each other anyway.

So much for Texas Tough, huh?  We got Texas Timid.  And unprepared.

Hannah Giles and James O’Keefe

September 28, 2011 By: Juanita Jean Herownself Category: Uncategorized

Folks who have been around here for a while know that there’s a World Most Dangerous Beauty Salon, Inc. link to the young woman who oh so easily passed for a prostitute in the ACORN “sting.”

Hannah Giles is the granddaughter of the founder of the Belles of Heaven Republican Women’s Club and Super DeLux and Power Packed Brand Christian Terese Raia, a very vicious and gossipy woman.

Ms. Raia used to be on the Republican State Executive Committee and packed a whallop with her odd obsession of pornography.  She was able to get Congressman Pete Olson to pass a congressional resolution honoring her granddaughter for oh so easily passing as a prostitute.  We thought it a tad unseemly to go bragging all over town that your granddaughter often gets mistaken for a prostitute.

So today we heard that we might, just might, get lucky.

A federal judge handling a federal lawsuit filed by a former ACORN employee against James O’Keefe has ordered the conservative provocateur and filmmaker to disclose video footage and payments he received from Andrew Breitbart in relation to one of his sting operations.

Wouldn’t that be fun?

Hannah Giles, whose grandmother has enough money to land on Boardwalk with 4 hotels, has taken to begging on the street for her legal defense fund.  Hannah’s budding career as a political columnist at Townhall kinda drizzled.  She is now “Director of Investigations” at the American Phoenix Foundation, a tax exempt organization, which seems a tad weird.

We have also learned that Hannah “is an avid surfer, poet, adventurer, and Valente Jiu-Jitsu practitioner.”  We suspect she also likes puppies and walks on the beach.

Thanks to Alfredo over at the Dairy Queen for keeping up with Hannah.

You Know How To Say “Duh” in Texan?

September 28, 2011 By: Juanita Jean Herownself Category: Uncategorized

Bless his heart, just bless his heart.  He has less of a grasp of American history than Michele Bachmann.

People didn’t walk  around disguised in public in Boston because they were afraid to speak their minds.  They wore disguises on one day at one time because stealing someone’s tea and dumping it in the harbor is illegal.

Saying something totally wrong with great passion is does make it right.  It makes it snake oil.

Bless his heart.  It ain’t real pretty.

Thanks to Stephen for the heads-up.