Rick Perry Is Not Gay
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Okay, so the Huffington Post says that Rick Perry is ready to defend himself against charges that he is gay. Because he’s not gay.
Rick contends that the rumors about him being gay, which he is not, were started by his political enemies and Texas trial lawyers. You know, people who are probably gay.
The rumors have been around since Elvis died, and Rick doesn’t help things with some of his picture poses. Which are, in fact, pretty much gay.
And, I do believe it was fellow Republicans who first brought up the Rick Perry could be gay agenda.
AUSTIN – A Web site for U.S. Sen. Kay Bailey Hutchison contained hidden phrases including “rick perry gay.”
So Gov. Rick Perry’s campaign is accusing the Hutchison team of being slanderous and of setting a negative and divisive tone.
The two Republicans are running for governor in next year’s GOP primary.
The Austin American-Statesman reported Thursday on the phrases.
Hutchison spokesman Jeff Sadosky said Hutchison’s campaign was not condoning those words. He said they would be removed.
Besides, if Rick Perry was gay, would he be pushing so hard to keep the TSA from touching his junk? That’s not gay. Crazy, yes. Paranoid, sure. Pandering, of course! But certainly not gay.
Not that it matters!
1It’s not the homosexuality, it’s the hypocrisy.
2To Quote Steinfeld, “Not that there is anything wrong with that.”
3Why does he dress like a member of the “Village People”? Those chaps in the picture sure look clean for a real cowboy, more like someone who rides a drugstore stool and not a horse. (Insert Seinfeld quote here.)
4Eons ago (during His first term), while the bodyguards hung back, Perry approached me and a couple of friends with a question. I remember distinctly the tight jeans, the new leather Harley jacket, the King Ranch ball cap, the ostrich or some such critter boots. The pose. After He left, I asked if anyone knew who we had been talking to. I was the only one who recognized Him. When I told them who it was, to a man they said, ” He is sooo straight!”
He’s not gay, he’s just real purty.
Not that it matters.
5Bingo, PDiddie!
As today’s winner, be expecting shipment of a case of Aqua Net and a “Take My Governor. Please.” bumper sticker.
6Icky Ricky doesn’t want anyone touching his junk because it is so small and hard to find.
7Good Lord, I hope Governor Perry puts an end to these rumors fast…they could ruin a man’s career!
Sincerely,
8Larry Craig
Is Broke Back Mountain in Texas?
9I just cannot get over the fact that most (sensate) Rethugs are not happy with the field with which they have been presented. So, Lil’ Ricky is going to be the Savior??? WTF???? (Sorry, Momma)
10Somehow I don’t think the rumors were a result of confusion with the the OTHER Rick Perry — a muscular fellow described on one website, as an actor who
“… starred in 7 video scenes, appearing for the first time in The Fernando Nielsen Collection Vol.1 in 2011. He has recently starred in Island Daze, Arabian Knights, and The Cell – Part 1: Confinement.”
No, I’m not gonna give you the links… adults in the privacy of their own homes, who google “gay porn rick perry” can find them same as I did.
11Its late/early, the thunder and lightning woke me, it’s finally raining and I’m reading about how Rick Perry is not gay. Coincidence?
12He allowed the execution of a man with an IQ in the 60’s yesterday.
What a guy!
13Diane’s right. It takes a real he man type to do that. Gay people have feelings and empathy. Rick Perry has neither. He’s a case study out of The Psychopath Test.
14Nope, he’s not gay. He said so. Georg Rekers, Larry Craig, and Ted Haggard aren’t gay either, because they said so. And that alabama preacher who died at home wearing two wetsuits and rubber underwear wasn’t gay either. He just really, really liked himself a lot. Kinda like Rick.
15Rumors of Strange Bed Fellows in Texas in 2004
A Texas RINO Governor named Rick Perry
Got busted bedding his State Secretary.
His wife couldn’t handle
The thought of a scandal
Like Idaho’s “wide stance” Senator Larry!
Perry likes to pray, and talk about straight Texas Honor
But his wife caught him with Secretary of State Geoff Connor.
His wife felt disgraced
That she’d been displaced
‘Cause Rick spent way more time off her than on her!
Soon after the sordid tale hit he press
The Bilderburgers stepped in to suppress
All these gay Perry rumors
Which are electoral tumors
So they brought in “The Rove” for finesse.
Karl issued an immediate repudiation
And arranged Goeff Connor’s resignation
‘Cause the Bilderburg’s goal
Of a Perry Presidential role
Won’t be blocked by Rick’s back door infatuation.
When Perry prays, he’s only playin’ you for a fool
16For he only practices the top half of the Golden Rule.
He now awaits his chance
To “widen out” his stance
And be President, offering to push in America’s stool!
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Charles Ulysses Feney