Yeah, And I’m Leading the Polling for Queen of Iowa
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Folks in these parts know for sure that Juanita is not a fan of Texas State Senator Dan Patrick.
“That man is as worthless as cornflake recipes,” she sighs at the mention of his name.
He may well be the the Prince of Pander on Pander Hill. He’s also thinking that Texas Republicans are dumber than bean dip. He is, of course, right.
Dan The Pander Man
Dan is heavily pondering on running for United States Senate. Now, the front runner for the GOP nomination is a guy named David Dewhurst, who is the Lt. Governor of Texas. Dewhurst has not announced yet because the Lege is still in session.
So, real quick like, before the Lege ends and Dewhurst announces, Dan Patrick runs out and commissions a poll. The poll gives him 19% of the vote, with the next highest guy getting 11%. And even though 58% of the people polled said, “Are you stinkin’ kidding? These jokers are my only choices?” Dan Patrick announced himself as the front runner for United States Senate among Republicans.
So, he’d strutting around the state capitol with his pudgy little chin all stuck out and hasn’t a clue that everybody is snickering.
grrrrr…. democracy down the drain.
1Dan Patrick is my State Senator, and TWMDBS (or “Twimdubs”, as we say in the Kellybee household) is the only place I’ve ever admitted that publicly. Having Mr. Goeb* as a U.S. Senator would only replace one embarrassment (John “Fringe-Jacket” Cornyn) with another.
Come to think of it, do we have any statewide-elected officials who aren’t embarrassing? Somebody help me on this.
*Dan’s surname before he changed it.
2Pretty much the male version of Sarah Palin. “Clueless”
3This is great news. Danny will be a great complement to Cornyn and his broke-back fringe jacket. Danny can dig out his old foam 10-gallon hat that he used to wear on the tee-vee box.
We do everything bigger in Texas. Other states have to be content with just one jackass in the Senate. We’ll have two!
Seriously though, Dan Patrick wasn’t going to run. But when Danny learned that neither Cal Worthington or Cal’s dog Spot were running, he felt he had no choice…
4As a proud Son of the Bluegrass, I take offense of your assertion that Taxas has the world’s two biggest jackasses in the Senate. Seriously, you think you can top Mitch McConnel and Rand Paul?
5Ooooooooh! Nice play, Wyatt. Hard to top ole “Turtle Head” and “Curly”.
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