Y’all, Are They Puttin’ Somethin’ In Our Mascara?
o
Juanita is worried.
There appears to be a rash of truly goofy wimmen-folks taking to the political arena.
“Well, I guess the first women we elected had to be twice as bright as men and three times more willing to work hard. Now that we’re breaking the glass ceiling, Bubettes are able to get elected,” she reckons. “This is not a good thing.”
“And we’re fixin’ to elect one in Nevada. This one has some creative ideas about how to fix health care in America: give your doctor a chicken. No, I am not kidding. I wish I were. That is an idea so male, so Bubbafull, that I think Sue Lowden estrogen level is being maintained by a health care professional who takes chickens as payment.”
Ms Lowden wants to repeal the Affordable Care Act, and last week, she suggested alternative ways for people to pay for medical care: save up to $20,000 in a medical savings account, or “barter with your doctor”. At first, people assumed she meant “haggle”. But TalkingPointsMemo’s Rachel Slajda says that in Ms Lowden’s appearance on a local news programme the day before yesterday, it appeared she really meant “barter”, as in offering goods or services in kind. Chickens, to be specific.
“This opens up a whole new field of the chicken-based economy. Will Ms. Lowden allow us to pay her congressional salary with slightly used John McCain yardsigns? Can we barter poster board and paint pens to Goldman Sachs to leave us the hell alone? I have a nice supply of feather boas. Can I trade them in for the police coming when I call them with an emergency?”
“And, if Ms. Lowden, Honey, if you need your hair done and, trust me on this, you do, I want payment in cash American money. Don’t be coming in here with no damn chicken. And I know you must have plenty of chickens because you sure have the chicken poop to prove it.”
Coming soon at every insurance company office and headquarters — a separate window for paying your policy with livestock and produce — we need to find out what world these people came from . . . and send ‘em back pronto!
1trading services for health care, I can just imagine a Dr’s. home alive with peons, serfs if you will, trimming trees, climbing roofs, cleaning out septic tanks, cleaning his/her toilets, cooking, detailing the car(s) and all sorts of other tradeable services. whoopee!
2We’ve had a chicken-based economy at our house for a long time. Mrs. A looks at something and does a quick calculation then says “I could get 6 broilers and a fryer for that much.” This may be due to the fact that her father was an M.D. and he was known to take fresh food from his patients in lieu of payment. He wouldn’t deal with insurance companies and according to the rumors, the I.R.S. had him on their permanent audit list because they couldn’t believe that he wasn’t making more money than he was reporting to them.
3I’ve got a problem with the IRS now… I wonder if they would take bootleg movies in trade.
4I can just see the docs bartering with their nurses. Do you want wings or legs this week for your pay? White or dark meat? Guess I’d have to rethink my idea of moving into a condo soon since I’ll be needing room for a chicken coop.
5I hear that Texas used to have a chicken-based economy… Do you think Sue Lowden knew Marvin Zindler?
6For those of you who aren’t from around here: Marvin Zindler was the reporter who closed down The Chicken Ranch, which was the basis for the movie Best Little Whorehouse in Texas.
7Several decades back in the early 1970s when Austinhatlady was a college student attending the 2nd annual convention of the Texas Women’s Political Caucus in San Antonio, she heard Sissy Farenthold say she looked forward to the day when a female legislator could be just as incompetent as a male legislator. That time has come.
8A couple of my grown children (so why do I still call them children?) remember when they would ask what are we having for supper and my snotty then wife would say go out and check the porch, see if any of your dad’s clients left some veggies and a dead little animal or two – golden days at the early law practice.
9From one who raises chickens – not by choice, but by a husband that bought a gazillion for our grandkids – who promptly gave them back – I could do this…but I don’t think the doctors in the Medical Center would…lol!
10I visited a few Ag websites and believe chicks, rather than grown hens, are a better deal just now. Luckily for me, the medical procedure I require is somewhat elective. I’m gonna buy chicks and watch my Medical Savings Accounts grow.
11Can someone please ask Ms. Lowden if the chickens have to be “live” ones? I’ve got a half-eaten bucket of The Colonel in my fridge…would that be enough to get a boil lanced?
12Several decades back in the early 1970s when Austinhatlady was a college student attending the 2nd annual convention of the Texas Women’s Political Caucus in San Antonio, she heard Sissy Farenthold say she looked forward to the day when a female legislator could be just as incompetent as a male legislator. That time has come.
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