Archive for February, 2010

Bought and Paid For

February 25, 2010 By: Juanita Jean Herownself Category: Sumbitches

“It’s not that I don’t expect much good to come out of the health care summit, but … whoa, what am I saying?  I expect nothing good to come out of it,”  Juanita says arriving late to the salon this morning.

Thelma had opened the doors and made coffee and now she stands waiting for Juanita so she can say, “if I’m expected to unlock the door and make coffee, I need a raise.”  And Juanita will reply, “Thelma Sue Frontage, I pay you to do nothing else the whole rest of the day every day.  Talk to the hairbrush, girl.”  It happens every morning.

Juanita stayed up late last night reading this stuff.

Washington, D.C. – On the eve of President Obama’s health care reform summit, Citizens for Responsibility and Ethics in Washington (CREW) released data showing that since 2005, health care special interests have invested at least $28 million in the campaigns of House and Senate leaders, chairs and ranking members of committees with primary jurisdiction over health care legislation. Additionally, President Obama received over $18.6 million during his presidential campaign.

“All of them,” she reports, “every single stinkin’ one of them.  And that explains why the majority of the American people want single payer but we won’t get it.”

“It is my belief that at the end of  this summit and the only it’ll be good for is crabbait,” she predicts.  “I truly hope someone has the courage to prove me wrong.”


Being a Stinker

February 25, 2010 By: Juanita Jean Herownself Category: Local Stuff

Incumbent State Representative and well known mean person, Dora Olivo, has now joined the Stinkerdom Movement, a political strategy that up until now has been reserved for Republicans.

Dora has taken a boatload of Labor Union money.

Yet, none of her printed materials or yardsigns have a union bug on them.  And she hasn’t bought them locally either.

“Now, if I had given Dora a whole mess of money and then she took her business over to Betty Sue’s Hairirific, I’d be a tad peeved,” Juanita admits.

“I don’t know who is making decisions about Union political contributions around here, but they apparently don’t like unions much,” Juanita suspects.

“Plus, that’s just rude.  It’s just rude.  But, that’s Dora so what else can I say?”


Bright Lights; Big City

February 24, 2010 By: Juanita Jean Herownself Category: Goat Rodeos

So, I saw my first Kay Bailey Hutchison yardsign today.  On a street that’s cut off to through traffic.  I had heard a report about it, so I drove three blocks out of my way to see it.

Sure ’nuff, there it was.

Just thought you’d want to know that they do exist.

I am getting a tad nervous because the latest Rasumussem poll has Perry widening the lead with 48%, Kay has 27, and Medina has 16.

If there’s not a runoff, Juanita is gonna be in a foul mood for long time.

Having All The Fun

February 24, 2010 By: Juanita Jean Herownself Category: Sumbitches

Juanita thinks that Republican elected officials have cornered the market on all the fun.

“Governor Jim Gibbons of Nevada is having so much fun that he forgets who he’s doing the wild thing with currently and or even that she’s standing right beside him,” Juanita reports.  “So, he has to admit he lied on camera about taking the current Miss Cutie Pie on official state trips with him.  The current Miss Cutie Pie had to hide in an airport bathroom while all this was going on.”

“Now, Honey, I ain’t no Oprah, but I think that if your boyfriend leaves you to fend for yourself in an airport bathroom and refers to you as his ‘security’, you need a new boyfriend.”

Mark another one in the “Got It” column under Juanita’s name.


Get A Rope

February 23, 2010 By: Juanita Jean Herownself Category: Steeple People

His name is Bob Marshall.  He’s from Richmond, Virginia.  He’s making Sweet Jesus cry.

State Delegate Bob Marshall of Manassas says disabled children are God’s punishment to women who have aborted their first pregnancy.

He made that statement Thursday at a press conference to oppose state funding for Planned Parenthood.

“The number of children who are born subsequent to a first abortion with handicaps has increased dramatically. Why? Because when you abort the first born of any, nature takes its vengeance on the subsequent children,” said Marshall, a Republican.

“In the Old Testament, the first born of every being, animal and man, was dedicated to the Lord. There’s a special punishment Christians would suggest.”

In related news, the problem may have been taken care of …..

Police report rabid raccoon in suburban Richmond

RICHMOND, Va. (AP) — Henrico County Police say they’ve confirmed a case of rabies in a raccoon that was killed by a pet dog.

Police say tests by the state confirmed the disease Tuesday. The animal was found dead in the front yard of a suburban Richmond home after responding to a call of a dog killing a raccoon Saturday.


Darth Cheney

February 23, 2010 By: Juanita Jean Herownself Category: Sumbitches

Juanita has two questions:

1.  Given the size of Dick Cheney’s heart, how could an attack be anything but mild?

2.  Shouldn’t they have taken him to Big Bubba’s Transmission and Fender Repair instead of a hospital?  Isn’t Big Bubba more likely to have the proper equipment?

Just asking?