Juanita printed out the following story from a website that does local press releases and then lets five people, with six different identities each, comment about them all the damn day long.

It’s a pretty worthless website that she only checks once a week, but it did have one good press release today —

Two 17-year-old Fresno women were arrested yesterday and one 18-year-old Fresno woman was cited after Missouri City police were called around 6:10 p.m. to the Wal-Mart in the 5500 block of Hwy. 6.

The store employee confronted the women, detained them and called police.

According to the stolen property list, the 18-year-old stole body lotion and Degree deodorant, valued at $6.81. She was issued a citation for theft.

The first 17-year-old was found with Nair hair remover, Dove body wash, two packages of Monistat and a pregnancy test, with a total value of $84.75. She was arrested for Class B misdemeanor theft and taken to the Fort Bend County Jail.

The second 17-year-old was listed as having stolen three gel push-up sets for bras, three bras, a skirt, two packages of Nair hair remover, Degree deodorant, and a pregnancy test, all totaling $99.65. She was arrested for Class B misdemeanor theft and taken to the Fort Bend County Jail.

Two packages of Monistat and a pregnancy test?  A push up bra and Nair hair remover?  Got a date this weekend?

In all honesty, I really don’t think I wanted to know about that.

Hey, at least you know I live in a real classy place.

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