Most of The Time
Juanita Jean likes cowboys. So, when Hank Gilbert decided to re-enter politics, she was pleased. But then Hank couldn’t decide what horse to ride, who was in charge of paying the band, or who his dance partner is. It was a goat rodeo.
Hank finally decided on running for ag commission. It did not commence well. It was kinda like he was rared up and ready stumble.
“It’s gonna take a faith healer, a voodoo doll, and a 20 car prayer meeting to get this guy’s campaign back on track,” Juanita moans. “After today, it appears the hoedown is over.”
We got a proud email from Hank yesterday announcing grandly that he had the endorsement of National Farmers Union President Roger Johnson. “Why, maybe Hank’s back in the saddle,” we thought out loud.
Come to find out this morning, not so much.
National Farmers Union President Roger Johnson said he didn’t endorse Hank Gilbert for Texas agriculture commissioner as a recent Gilbert campaign release stated.
Johnson met with the Democratic contender last week at an Abilene convention but said he didn’t give him an endorsement. He said he was not endorsing anyone, either as an individual or the head of an organization. The National Farmers Union doesn’t endorse state candidates.
Oh, crap.
Gilbert’s campaign attempted made matters worse with a bean dip dumb comment: “We made a mistake,” he said. “We’ve had so many endorsements over the last week that we confused one.”
“Well, see, that confuses me,” Juanita says, “because I didn’t get blazing colors emails about the others.”
“He’s throwing us into Kinky Friedman’s arms,” Juanita moans, “and, Honey, there have been some things in Kinky’s arms that require an environmental impact study just to move across the room. I’m not overly anxious to be there, but at least he seems to know what he’s doing most the time.”
I suspect she heard me snort. “I said MOST!” she reiterated.
Juanita Jean honey,
I am really conflicted. I adore Hank but it’s beginning to look like he hired the same staff that the Lampson and Bell campaigns hired to lose their recent attempts. I don’t know who to support and being a life long Democrat it’s hard. Krazy Kinky who is really funny or Oops Hank who has memory problems.
1If I were still in TX, it would be Kinky for anything. He’s the only candidate who has written several books and songs none of which were memoirs — except maybe that one about how They Ain’t Makin’ Jews like Jesus Anymore which seemed pretty darned autobiographical the first time I heard it.
He’s written songs about foreign affairs (Wild Man from Borneo), evolution (Homo Erectus), and even recent Texas history (Ballad of Charles Whitman). How much more well-rounded does a feller have to be?
2If Hank forces me to vote for Kinky, I expect I’ll walk out of the polling place and throw up.
3Bell campaign! Tell me about it. I volunteered to deliver yard signs one Sunday. The guy who gave me the signs loaded me down with what he said *he* could deliver (with a GPS) in an afternoon. I told him I didn’t have a GPS, but he gave me his number of signs anyway. Then he spent some time telling me how great he was.
I spent every afternoon for a week finishing up after work.
I emailed the guy who gave me the signs a couple three times, to inform him I was finished and (get this!) volunteer to do more, and got not only no thanks but no reply. Then I created a fake email address and emailed him offering to volunteer (just curious if he had dropped dead or what), and got an immediate reply. Well, well, how interesting. I’d be fascinated to receive an explanation, not that I ever will.
I have a GPS now. But I consider this a prime example of people who don’t *listen* (or care).
Of course, if Kinky hadn’t been in that race we might have had Bell anyway. A D is 99% likely to be better (loosely defined) than an R, even if they are from two wings of the same corporate party and even if they do have a lousy campaign organization.
4Oh, and I know I wasn’t going into his spam folder unless he directed my emails there, because I initially volunteered by email. (I hate telephones, don’t know why. Accepting donations for analysis…. ;-> )
5Either that’s a real old photo of that Friedman boy, or he’s done gone Dorian Gray on us. I kinda like the later option myself.
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