Archive for February, 2010

Dear Mr. Republican

February 28, 2010 By: Juanita Jean Herownself Category: Uncategorized

Our Republican dominated elections department here in Fort Bend County has once again moved a voting location without notifying voters.  Hal can tell you all about it.

Juanita is paying a nice lady friend of hers to stand at the old polling location all day and hand out maps to Democrats to the new location.  She considered having the lady friend  tell Republicans that she has no clue where they vote, but last she heard, their voting location had been moved to the county judge’s front porch.

The Juanita changed her mind and composed this letter —

Dear Republican,

Your desire for smaller government and less taxes has left you here without a clue of where to vote.

Your Republican dominated elections office moved your voting location without notifying you.

So, you have two good-ole Republican choices:

1.  You can count on your self-reliance to find out where to vote on your own.  You won’t need our help for that.  Have a nice day.

2.  You can show your support for free enterprise by paying the nice lady who handed you this letter $5.00 for her time, effort, ink, and research to buy yourself printed directions to your new voting location.

That would be doing it the Republican way.

You probably save about 1/20th of a penny in taxes this year by not being notified of where you now vote.

We’re Democrats.  We believe in responsible, responsive government.  We also believe we are our brother’s keepers.

And we have deeply enjoyed this little neighborly ribbing.

Your new voting location is River Pointe Church and there are directions on the back of this paper.

However, if you would like to give the nice lady $1.00 for the directions, those donations will be given to Helping Hands in Richmond.

Please consider voting for a few local Democrats this November.  We take your right to vote very seriously.  We also take your right to be well-informed so seriously that we are willing to spend our own money and time to print this map for you.

Juanita Jean Herownself

P.S.  By the way, under Republican dominated leadership local taxes have increased and your county government has grown by leaps and bounds with cronyism.

If they can’t find their way after that, there’s no helping them.


Welcoming Karl Rove to a State Rep Race

February 27, 2010 By: Juanita Jean Herownself Category: Local Stuff

Some things are just hard to believe.

Why, for example, would a incumbent Hispanic female running as a Democrat for the State Lege take a nice looking young man like this —

And turn him into this on a political mailer that covers a whole 8 by 11 inch inch page?


I guess she couldn’t find a picture of Willie Horton.

The African American candidate had a civil judgment against him.

We are used to Republicans doing this to Barack Obama, but to see one Democrat do it against another Democrat on the eve of the election makes me go to the bathroom and make strange biological sounds.

If she wins, I will post a list of her major endorsers with their phone numbers so you can call and ask them if they approve of crapola like this.


UPDATE: And she’s taking Republican money to do this.  Check out the last-minute donation from Bob Perry’s PAC , Hillco, to pay for this mailer.


Y’all, I Need to Move

February 26, 2010 By: Juanita Jean Herownself Category: Uncategorized

They say that a picture is worth a thousand words.  That must be true because I cannot think of one word fitting for this sign I have to pass by to get the post office.

So please don’t ask me to go to the post office.

I know you can think of a word, but please remember that Momma comes here.


And You Thought Our District Attorney’s Race was Racy

February 26, 2010 By: Juanita Jean Herownself Category: Uncategorized

Republican men never cease to amaze Juanita.

“Honey, those are some nasty children,” she says.  “And that doesn’t even include the boys running for DA here.”

Juanita’s customer Deb brought Juanita some news this morning from the Bible Belt Capital – Georgia.  It seems that a Super DeLux Brand Christian member of the Georgia House got caught rubbing bellies with a lobbyist.  So he resigned.

Not being folks who learn from their mistakes, those same voters elected another Super DeLux Brand Christian to replace him.

Meet newly minted Rep. Daniel Stout.

His campaign Web site touts his conservative, pro-family bona fides. “I believe Paulding County wants someone who will stand strong for the conservative principles we’ve always believed in … lower taxes, limited government, personal responsibility, and valuing Life from the womb until natural death,” he says.

But, as the writer Tom Crawford of Capitol Impact noted this week, Stout “has been compelled to address a personal incident from 10 years ago: he had an affair with his first wife’s mother while his first wife was pregnant with their daughter. Stout and his first wife subsequently divorced.”

“Well,  I thought that kind of stuff only happened in Alabama,”  Juanita says.

“I found something on his website that made me kinda laugh in that very nervous kind of way,” she tell us.

My goal in life is to serve and glorify The Creator by reflecting the love and grace He has shown to me through Christ.

“How come the more perverted a man is, the more he hides in church pews behind his family?  It seems like we’d learn that when a Republican man does that, he’s misbehaving somewhere with someone, probably his mother-in-law.”


Friday Toon

February 26, 2010 By: Juanita Jean Herownself Category: Uncategorized

Thanks to Don Wright

It’s a Girl Thang, Baby

February 25, 2010 By: Juanita Jean Herownself Category: Uncategorized

Juanita printed out the following story from a website that does local press releases and then lets five people, with six different identities each, comment about them all the damn day long.

It’s a pretty worthless website that she only checks once a week, but it did have one good press release today

Two 17-year-old Fresno women were arrested yesterday and one 18-year-old Fresno woman was cited after Missouri City police were called around 6:10 p.m. to the Wal-Mart in the 5500 block of Hwy. 6.

The store employee confronted the women, detained them and called police.

According to the stolen property list, the 18-year-old stole body lotion and Degree deodorant, valued at $6.81. She was issued a citation for theft.

The first 17-year-old was found with Nair hair remover, Dove body wash, two packages of Monistat and a pregnancy test, with a total value of $84.75. She was arrested for Class B misdemeanor theft and taken to the Fort Bend County Jail.

The second 17-year-old was listed as having stolen three gel push-up sets for bras, three bras, a skirt, two packages of Nair hair remover, Degree deodorant, and a pregnancy test, all totaling $99.65. She was arrested for Class B misdemeanor theft and taken to the Fort Bend County Jail.

Two packages of Monistat and a pregnancy test?  A push up bra and Nair hair remover?  Got a date this weekend?

In all honesty, I really don’t think I wanted to know about that.

Hey, at least you know I live in a real classy place.